The best gaper quotes

the other day some dude i sitting on my chair and a preson throws a cork 5 below. the dude's kid asks what was that and he says "well i think he did a tripple flip thing"
 
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got another. i was going up the charlift on the back side of lake louise...
him:so do you ski downill?me:not really anymore, i ski powder and park.him: you ski at playgrounds? thats mighty odd...me:....ummm....
 
gapers: do a backflip or frontflip!

me:nah i cant do them, but like a 7?

gapers: YA do that!

I do it, gapers come down

gapers: oh my god! that was so sick!!!

preceeds to snowplow away
 
Not really funny... at all, but: I saw some chick who was completely out of control absolutly SLAM a tree yesterday. Holy shit, she got decked. It was brutal. She walked down the hill on her own power, I was surprised she could even get up.

 
so my friend is new to skiing and i like him but hes still a gaper

me: hey man i just got new skis. theyr twin tips

gaper: whatdaya mean twintips??

me: the fronts the same as the back

gaper: well thats dumb your skis are gonna stik into the snow

me: what?

gaper: u kno, if the front and back are both flat...

I sigh and just walk away

imean how do you not even see them around the mountain?
 
k i cant really describe my physics teachers personality but he always explains things like this.

talking about acceleration:

teacher: now if he doesn't move after he lets go of the tow what might happen as friction slows him down?? now you'd need insane balance and its not actually possible but he would go-- thats right-- backwards!! he would start to ski down backwards! now this could be like an xgames event but youd have to pretty jacked up on monster.

at this point i just put my head down and didn't even bother to tell him how stupid he was
 
my friends sister works at a ski shop and he thinks he could do a better job than her

sister: nuh-uh you dont know anything about skiing

friend: yea id do

sister: name all the ski brands you can think of

friend: (says a bunch)

sister: your still forgetting like the biggest one; its starts with a "B"

friend: you mean Burton?

sister: yea, and you forgot it

friend just walks out

how can you work at a ski shop and still be a gaper?
 
i got this one yesterday. we had maybe 6 inches of snow the night before. A lady im riding up the chairlift with says they must have made snow while it was snowing last night because it is amazing out there
 
thats funny

and i was riding in the car with my friend the other day:

him: i went skiing last night.

me: cool how was it?

him: it was good. the park looked good.

me: oh you do the park?

him: yah i always hit the sides of the jumps and get huge air. like yesterday i almost got enough air to do like a backflip.

i didnt answer and looked out the window for the next 5 minutes.
 
i started working at a ski shop over winter and saw alot of customer gaperness!

in my first week i started to familiarise myself with the rental gear, i was messing around with the rental bindings and my boss came over face-palmed and explained to me that i head the skis facing the wrong way on the rental bench. to see the numbers on the side of the bindings i had the ski the wrong way (tips facing left) so i had to lean right over the ski to set the bindings.

another good story was a woman who brought in her boot to get her bindings checked up on. she had some ancient rear entry boots with no inners. i asked her where her inners were and she looked at me with a blank stare and told me that she was just going to wear 2 pair of extra thick socks. ended up selling her some brand new womens boots after politely explaining that using her old boots would be a very very bad idea haha.

i also spent alot of time explaining to customers that they should let the shop set their bindings and not do it themselves.
 
Haven't had any of these until today. On the chair lift a 50 year old lady told me she liked my "Double tips" and asked me if mounted them to far forward :| .I was in the park on my first run so I usually just straight air to get the feeling for it. So I hit the kicker and do a critical grab. Some kid at the top asked my friend if I was thinking of going pro.
 
I've gotten so many comments about my SPKs. People asking if I wore the right boots and if they were supposed to be like that haha
 
not a quote but mid holiday week, im stopped on the side of a trrail about to drop into a cruiser run. i hear the scratching of skis to ice and then a gaper skis over my blends and off into a tree, and goes " Oh jesus, You shouldnt of been there!" i replied"yeah youre right" and skied away as she was picking up her yard sale.
 
so i wore my 2x jiberish to school today and immediately i got comments about "wearing a dress" to school from this douchebag in my history class, so i tell him that i bought it for skiing, and he proceeds to tel me that no peice of cothing no matter what its for should pass your waist
 
You crash and your shit goes all over, like items spread out on a lawn for a yard sale. At least that's what I always assumed.
 
LOL, I will never go back to wearing hoodies that reach my waste / above. I don't like my shirt being bunched up thank you very much.
 
gaper- so who's he hot dog in your family

gaper-twin tips... hmm, are those for ski ballet or whatever you call that place
 
So our ski team rides the same team as instructional at our school.
Im talking to this german gaper in instructional and he asks me,
are you on the freestyle team?
me: yes
Gaper: can you do a 520?
Me: yeah I'll do on just for you
 
Not so much anything I heard, but waiting outside the rentals for friends of mine last season was a real eye opener for the shear unbelievable stupidity of the poor human race. I felt like I must have been a damn child prodigy knowing how to put boots and skis on the first time without being shown how. Gapers with backwards boots, lack of understanding for how to put them on in general, which end of the foot to put in the binding first, hell, even which way the ski should be facing. All in 20 minutes.
 
my best freind that i made thro skiing, i always thought he was good but... i realized hes a gaper. ive skied with him once and he was alright. hes rich so he has 3 xl armada outerwear. but....

on the bus talking nout skiing: girl- i do blacks me- thats a pretty lame way to describe urself, i do a whole different definition of skiing that uve probably never heard of. my freind- yea dude, i do double blacks! i wanna be pro someday.

not that funny but watev
 
dude first time i went skiing, i somehow ended up with a pair of womens size 8s instead of mens. spent 15 minutes trying to stuff my foot in their. then my friends mom got me the right boot. it was all good from there
 
My first post on NS, so I thought I'd share my classic gaper story..

My first lift of that day I hopped on this chair with a pure gaper. He was decked out out in an FXR snowmobile suit and some shitty sportchek tecno twins(so ridiculous). He lookes at me and says, "ah you look legit man, I see you got some twin tips just like me, they are sweet for doing tricks eh?" I'm just like oh ya, definitely. He then says.. "so what kind of wax you riding today, I got purple" I was like purple? I've never seen that color, who makes it?. (not kidding) he says.. Glade. I'm just like wtf. I was like I think that's candle wax man. He then proceeds to tell me he thinks candle wax is better because he can warm it up to a higher temperature... I turned up my music louder and refused to acknowledge him.
 
About 4 years ago I was skiing switch toward the 'Zuma lift at Keystone, when I got into line a guy in a cowboy hat yells "Showoff!" at me.

And a few weeks ago I was teaching and a snowboarder comes climbing thru some gnarly trees and bushes that separate our ski-school area from the rest of the mountain. I told him that this area was ski-school only and he replys "Sorry, I got lost, I was looking for that dang terrain park."
 
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