The best gaper quotes

The only picture i have is me with tom during a signing like 15 minutes before we went up. There was a filmer with us because Verizon had set it up, but there wasnt enough footy to put anything together.
 
i was trying to fix my ski, and next to me two about 14 years old guys were trying to fit skiboot on ski binding for about 15 minutes..''wtf?! why my boot doesnt fit to ski binding!!!'', Other guy '' oh cmon, just stomp hard as you can!''
after a while the other guy said '' take your boot off and let me try''
then i went and said '' i think it would be great if you opened your binding before trying to fit it''ahahaha it was so funny _D
 
I once watched some guy try for about 5 minutes to get his boot into a closed binding. I was about to say something, when through some enormous triumph of gaperology he managed to smash his boot into the binding, clipped in properly and all, and ski away. To this day I have no idea how, I guess he just overpowered the forward pressure spring or something.
 
where i work the bindings are really shitty and i've seen plenty of people do that

still confuses me why they dont check, they get taught that on lessons
 
Skiing last Saturday:
Doing a few chill runs and out of no where a friend does a cork 7 on this cut-up jump thing. Other friend drops in next and does a backflip. Cruise down to the lift and get on. At the top we're surrounded by a bunch of gapers. One points and says "look there's the guy who's been doing backflips!" The friend who did the cork 7 just chuckles.
Funny how fast word gets out that you're doing crazy backflips.
 
gaper "are those double tips"?me "umm yeah twin tips"gaper "woah cool, i tried skiing once"me "nice it's fun"gaper "yeah i think i've seen you at the park"me "yeah....."me (first day every at bristol)
 
i couple of years ago i got my first pair of twin tips and the first day up my friend(major gapper and a snowboarder) was asking me about my new skis.

gaper: i like your new skis cam

me: thanks

gaper: so what are the tails bent up for?

me; so you can go backwards

gaper: no

me no?

gaper: you cant go backswards on skis because you cant see
 
my buddy and i were talking about our oakley crowbars, just callin em cbars, and out other friend (snowboarder) says "so, are cbars just like a different model of the crowbar??"
and aparrently beginner skis dont have edges
 
I work at the front desk of a hotel in Big Sky and the other morning we had 2 inches of fresh snow on the ground. A gaper staying in a ski in/ski out condo called me up and asked if he could get a shovel because there was "too much snow" to ski to the groomer.
 
I ski grouse (nuff said), where we get LOTS of gapers. I once even saw a guy struggling to put on his ski, only he was trying to fit his toe into his heelpiece ON FLATBACKS!!! wow.

Two days ago my buddy and I were listening to someone in the lift line explaining how the snowboarders were all coming out of the terrain park and how all the skiers were coming off the main runs. obviously no skier can ever get any air because you can only do that on a board!

Yesterday, I was walking through North Vancouver (where there are three ski hills) with my skis and some old guy came up to me and said "Theres no snow". When I told him he was wrong he then added that there must be like 2 feet at most.

It amazes me how little people in Vancouver actually know about their own mountains, and how there are many kids in my school who have never been skiing even though my school is literally right at the bottom of the mountain!

 
The other week I was trying to do a double frontflip but i never got all the way around. After I picked up after my yard sale some kid yelled "Did you see that kid, he almost did two somersaults in the air!" I was completely floored...
 
The worst possible gaper quote is when I saw a _SICK_ gaper ranting about how much he hated gapers. He had a gap between his helmet and goggles + a few seconds after his long speech to his friends that I overheard i threw a 270 on the smallest jump imaginable and bailed so hard.. damn that was cash.
 
Riding up the chair in Powder Mountain with a teenage couple right after a huge snowfall (from the sky):Girl: Is this all man made snow?Guy:I don't know. It's possible.Girl: Man that's a lot of snow to make to cover this whole mountain.
 
today at my mountain. mother to child.

kid" I am going to go off tis ramp"

parent " NO! THAT JUMP IS WAY TO BIG!

the gap on the jump was about 5 feet. and if he was to undershoot, nothing at all would even affect him
 
i just like seeing some kids faces when i ride up switch into the lift line. that or the kids who get all worked up about seeing a guy throw a 3 off a little kicker on the side of a trail.
 
gaper: where were u skiing today anywhere good?me: i was in the parkgaper: oh is that the run with all those jumps and railsme: yeagaper: why where u there its only for snowboarders skiers aren't allowed in i thoughtme: nope im pretty sure im allowed in
then gaper continues to argue that the parks are for snowboarders only and i shouldnt go in or i will get in trouble by ski patrol
 
like 4 years ago it was one of my first few times skiing. I was with a bud and we were on a double w/ a mid-mtn dropoff. I thought we were going all the way up, he thought we were going 1/2 way. Right as we were trying to get off 1/2 way I try to shut my backpack and leave my tips down.
Tips dig into the drop off and i go forward falling just under the lift. Best part was it slung the chair soo much it launched my friend straight off about 5-7ft and he faceplants!
Guy walks out after turning the lift off, looks at me and simply says, "nice pants." referring to my plaid burtons
 
10 year old kid- "hey didnt you used to snowboard?!?!?"

me- "....no..?"

10 year old kid- "no i think you did.. i remember you here last year"

i was so cunfuse.

 
so i was night skiing last night and the park was pretty much emtpy with the few local snowboarders and skiiers and the park patrol. then there was this one group of skiiers and snowboarders who were going off the side of the jump and landing before the actually lip and they were going off the jumps and landing like 2 feet passed the lip on a 25 footer. they were fucking up all the lips and we yelled at them form the lift to stop. we later find them in the park with 2 snowboarding sitting on a box. they all were rockin at least a 3 inch gap. so we go up to them and tell them to stop doing it there fucking up the jumps and one person returns with " thats not us i just did a misty 9 off that jump and he just did rodeo 5...they had rental salomon xwing skis in about a 155...

gotta love gapers
 
ME: "why do those skis have two tips?"
GAPER: "........."
ME: "can you do a helicopter or a backflip?"
GAPER: (Proceeds to take my lunch money and smash my sandwich)
 
Gaper "friend" of mine after I shoot off into the trees next to a groomer.

Me- that was fun.

Friend- dude, that looks crazy back there!

Me- its alright...

Friend- yeah man, I wont ever go into the backcountry.

Me- what?

Friend- you know, the trees, the backcountry.

Me- What The Fuck bro...

Friend- whats wrong?

Me- (shake my head) Fucking Noob...

Friend- Fuck you...
 
i spent a solid 10 minutes on the lift trying to explain to some kid that my alpha 1s aren't pow skis. He just kept saying "but they're rockered." Yes, a rockered park ski. with an 80 something waist. And listed as a park ski on Armada's site....."but they're rockered"
 
Me and my friend get off the lift line, and some gaper old woman says "those look like snowboards! no, skiboards!" referring to our skis
 
Today while riding up with a Gaper Mom

Gaper Mom: Are those the skis with 2 tips

Me: Yeah theyre twin tips

Gaper Mom: Yeahh those are for spraying the snow up in the back, right?

Me: (in disbelief) Yes.

Gaper Mom: Ooo those are fun, I should get a pair

silence for the rest of the ride

 
That bad?! I thought everyone knew that Kneissl Big Foot's are a classic!

889659-predam-big-foot-kneissl-2.jpg
 
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