The best gaper quotes

its not a quote but i once saw an indian family eating lunch at the picnic table in the park. the table is about 25ft long and looks like a normal picnic table except that its on a platform and has a jump at one end....but they clearly didn't notice that
 
yesterday, sitting on the lift.. me and my friend overheard this conversation between a gaper and his friend. Havnt laughed that hard in a while.

Gaper-"My gape has been getting really cold latley, its like 5 degrees out"

Gaper Friend- "Yeah same here, so I started wearing a beanie under the helmet...its hard to get them under the rental ones though"

Gaper-"oh yeah thats a good Idea"
 
Group of gapers: Nice skis they have 2 curved tipsMe:SureGapers:They're powder skis right?Me:No. FreeskiingGapers:O so you do moguls alotMe:Not really...Gapers:Nice poles theyre pretty shortMe:Theyre short because I dont use them muchGapers:And the must be nice for moguls right? so theyre not in the wayMe:*smile*(while thinking just go with it...)
 
classic gaper spotting today: jeans and rental skis with the jeans bunched up at the top of his boots, sliding down a black run, which had been skied too many times into two icy chutes, on his butt and scrambling to get up but failing badly. I felt kind of bad laughing but I appreciated the slapstick humour.
 
This is the best thread on the whole site.

-I've had people ask me if i was into rapping...

Me -no, why?

Them-"cause you got those gangster skis"

Me-".....They're for freestyle"

Them- "right. So you like wearing skinny jeans and flat hats right?"

Me- ... Takes out phone and starts texting...
 
ohh i remember one more
.we were hitting some basic rails in the low level park and some snowboarders were hitting the same features but sucking arse at it. i was learning 270s onto flat boxes, so nothing amazing, but this bunch of ~15 yr olds were watching everything and said something to the effect of how much more impressive the skiers were than the snowboarders even though theyre all in the "snowboard park"
 
i just learned 270's onto the mini boxes and i did like three in a row and these snowboarders asked me for my autograph because they thought i was pro.
 
In the lodge the other day, two friends waiting in line for rentals...

First guy: "Hey, what do these numbers mean on the rental form?"

Second guy: "I think it has to do with your skill level, but I always just circle 3 so that they give me the coolest skis."

Me: facepalm.jpg
 
On a lift last year I saw a rentals gaper take off his skis and slide down the 100% iced over moguls on his ass. Didnt take long till he was airing and getting smashed on the landings. Ended up getting flatboarded off the mountain.
 
i have had people ask me the what the function of a tall jacket is, why our pants hang so low, and why my poles are so short.
most of the time i flounder and have no answer for them, except for the poles thing

but the best gaper i had ever seen was a kid at killington the other day, moderately tall oakley jacket, splices, not at all baggy DC pants, and rental boots, skis, and poles. single tipped 130 rental skis.
he was in the park, 50-50'd a huge butter box, landed forward, then tried to shuffle or some shit and fell over as soon as he started going backwards.
i lol'd, 180ed-on, dub surface swap, 180ed-off the box, then dropped into the jump line.
 
today i was sitting on the lift with some gapers (texans)one goes to me- whats your favorite pro skier you know the one that does the most twistsme- i like tom walisch or bobby browngaper- i dont know who they are but my favorite is chuck noris me-................
 
heres a monstrous switchington gaper thangi was laying in bed last night and managed to work out what dub meant :( i was so proud of myself lol
 
Sitting in multimedia at school watching Ahmet's Segment in Eye Trip on my computer..

Kid next to me-Dude is that like urban skiing??

me-yeah

him-Thats hilarious man. have you seen urban kayaking on that episode of jackass???

Me-continue to watch the movie and not respond

 
Tourist kid to Tourist mom.
Kid: I'm trying to learn how to ski backwards so when I do a 180 I can actually land it.Mom: What are you talking about? NO ONE can ski backwards, it's impossible.
 
I was getting my skis on to get on the first lift of the day, and i noticed a Mother and Father having trouble getting their little daughters' second binding clicked in. I tried to help:
Me- Excuse me her binding won't click in because she has some snow on the bottom of her boots...Gaper Dad- (with an attitude that is like i have no idea what the hell I'm talking about) NO. its a problem with her bindings.
*They then proceeded to say "Oh...its one of those weird bindings." and flip up her heel piece and try to click her in with the binding closed.*
At that point, I skied away seeing that they would just ignore anything i said.

 
Yeah and all the fuckin children figured out that if you cut right after jump num 3 between the drop for num 4 and the trees you may get enough speed to clear them. Except the fuckers weren't going anywhere and would just stop on top the landing and stand there. I got pissed enough to hit the jump and tail tap one of the kids in the head.
 
i am a instructor at my mountain and the other day in a frestyle lesson one of my kids said to do a "fish tail" so i asked what is a fish tail and he said it is a flipy spin trick that shawn wight can do...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top