Stupidist thing any bodys ever said to you, ever.

there are over 700 thousand people in china that get lung cancer each year... thats not neccessarily many chinese people.
 
Read this comment from another site: "ovaries is a reverse penis thats inside you which means all girls are actually guys who were chosen to have their penis’ falcon punched into them because they were not fit to be men"
 
im sure there were worse, but in history class this girl asks the teacher: "was japan in WWII?" the same girl also asked if pearl harbor still existed, we said yes, she proceeded to say that she thought it got sunk and/or blown up into small pieces.
 
"Im going to sparta kick you right in the face if you dont shut up right now!"-Dan

it was funny because those were his exact words and he was dead serious, just thought i would share
 
on a school trip, during a cave tourgirl: were these caves dug out?tour guide: *facepalm mentally* uh?? it's actually kind of natural

 
"my mustang will top two-hundred flat-out"
"I once drove all the way home on the interstate in reverse"
"I did a backflip"
"she's a solid 7"
"I did a spinny maneuver off of that rail when you weren't looking, but i hurt my knee so i can't do it again"
 
i work at a ski shop just keep that in mind..
Customer: "Hey do u sell lawnmowers here?"Me: *look of shock "Are you serious or just kidding?"Customer: * look of embarssment "Oh no...i was just kidding"
this guy was legit serious, and he asked me this question inside our store, not over the phone, so he could see our full stock..
 
one time we were driving from the atlanta airport to our hotel there, and my dad was on the phone with the receptionist at the hotel.

1. dad: "is the hotel north or south of the airport?"

stupid receptionist lady: "well it depends where you are"

2. dad: "okay we are at 'such and such' location'

stupid receptionist lady: "i dont believe you can get here from there"

 
my friend did'nt understand why aids was linked to homosexuality, the first thing that came out of his mouth when we told him unprotected butt secks can give you aids he said " wait a minute so you're saying if you poop in my mouth i will get aids".
 
not sure about the stupidest, but...
my ex-boss, on the rats and cockroaches in his coffee shop:"yes, it happens, they will come. it's summer.""we get the exterminator in here every two months.""see those [white spots on the wall and under the shelving] they are for the bugs, the exterminators put them there"
 
my ex, on a band that sings in Finnish: (he doesn't know any finnish or have a good knowledge of foreign languages at all)"once I read the lyrics along to the the song, but they aren't singing exactly how it's written down."I didn't know whether he was trolling me or not...
he would also criticize other drivers' bad habits while going 30-40+ kilometres above the speed limit, often on a two-lane highway at night.
 
I was working at my local middle school, and I said to the gym teacher, I gotta go upstairs to help with the dissections.

He responds "What the hell is a dissection?"

I say "You know, when you cut open animals?"

He goes "That is gay."
 
"i can float on corn on the cob while unicorns jump on my head then meet Gondhi and then end world shitting"

stupid laced weed.
 
ok....

This dumb girl came over to our apartment one time wearing a snowbird tshirt, so i was like hey that is a cool shirt, and she responds with "you like it? it is a ski resort, my good friend moved to colorado to work at jackson hole, that is wear he got it for me"

and the best one ever from my buddy eating lunch

"if you crush up lettuce tightly enough, you will eventually get celery"
 
Do they speak spanish in spain?dumbest bitch ever...
alsoFriend: So are you decent at snowbarding?Me: ehh im okayFriend: Than why would you ski?
 
Wasn't really something that was said to us, but we convinced this girl we went to school with that they burn cows in England for fuel, man was she distraught about that
 
one of my friends from hs just got her first visa in the mail today, and within minutes takes a picture of it and posts it on fb with the caption "uh oh visa came today"

no censored numbers or anything, full card info minus the security numbers on the back
 
my brother..."yeah, there are all different types of chinese people, like japanese, korean......"

facepalm.
 
update:

her visa is now cancelled.... in 30 mins of having a credit card she publicly displayed enough information to allow her credit card to be stolen, and then cancelled it. all before she even got to use it
 
Someone right here on NS told me that Immortal Technique sucks after arguing with me that Drake doesn't suck. I facepalmed for a good hour, just sitting there with my palm on my face.
 
i have to say, in the defense of a lot of blondes out there, that the majority of the dumb blondes, are the ones who've dyed it from brown. and you know what's worse, my mom's one of those brunettes, and she makes blonde jokes all the time.
 
"Do you really have a caterpillar in your leg?" we convinced her that it was to clean the bad blood. It was actually just a scar.
 
just now during dinner...

we were having string beans

my other brother: "if you take the bean out of it, does it make it a lima bean?"

also

"do giraffes lay eggs?"

(we all said yeah)

"oh well how big are their eggs? cause giraffes are really big"
 
cause we like to fuck with him. but what you just said was pretty much word for word what i said to him after. "no, a giraffe is a mammal, are you fucking retarded?"
 
like freshman year of highschool we were talking about the 9/11 attacks and a girl in my class asked why china didn't warn us about it if their like 12 hours ahead of us
 
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