Stupidist thing any bodys ever said to you, ever.

me- "...hes captain jean luc picard from star trek, the bald white guy."
her-"i dont really know star trek. is he the reading rainbow guy?"
me-.....
her-" what?"
me-" are you serious?! that guy is black!" laughing my ass off
her- "oh shit sorry, i'm dyslexic."
me- "what the fuck?!"
 
ive got a couple:

1. so were swimming at night down on lake superior, and theres this light (a boat) slowly moving past a ways out. This chick named molly says "whats that light out there is that a lighthouse?"

2. my bro is a fucking retard, one time he asked that if you did a perfect dive off the aerial lift bridge if you would live. another time he was looking at a map of wisconson and said "wisconsins a really big country wheres minnesota on the map? he was 15.

 
A girl in History class in ninth grade.

"Is Asia in Europe?"

"Is apartheid the same thing as democracy?"

Dead serious. She was an indiot.
 
I got the same shit when I moved here from SA

"why are you talking with an australian accent"

"if you didn't have cars, how did you get to school?"
"I rode on my pet giraffe"
"oh. nice"

 
We were in a car with a few people, and we drive past this ramshackle house with a sign saying, "FREE PUPPIES!!" and then this kid is like, "Hey!! Let's go steal some puppies" . not kidding
 
Me: Yo aron would you rather live at thugs mansion or life?

Aron: I dono i'd have to take a tour of thugs mansion first

Me: Ya, me too but i think i'd buy a bridge to reality too...

me: WAIT WHAT THE FUCK, IM FUCKED WHY DID I JUST SAY THAT?
 
Turns on Beach Boys..."Oh hell ya dude the Beetle Boys!!"Thats when you know you have no common sense considering you just mixed two of the most popular bands ever together.
 
my friend blazed out of his mind :''HOLY SHIT I'm seeing in 3D!''

dumb girl in geography class: ''That's Africa? it's so big, i thought it was just a bunch of tribes in the savannah!''

 
1. In Latin class talking about our upcoming trip to Italy:

Teacher: "Make sure you bring appropriate clothing. The Mediterranean gets more sun than you would think. It can get pretty hot"

dumb blond bitch:"WAIT....Is that the same sun as here?"

2. same girl, same latin class:

Teacher:" blahblahblah...roman civil war..blah blah"

dumb blond bitch: "...Wait.. there was more than one civil war?"

3. Different girl at lunch thought Hawaii was located below florida, by Cuba. Good God.
 
her:"So we're standing inside the earth right now?"
me:"No, we're on the surface"
her:"so what's holding us from floating off into space?"
me:"Gravity"
her"oh, is that like the stuff you put on turkey"

I nearly fucking shot myself.
 
I was in the car with my mom and we drive past Qdoba mexican grill. She turns to me and says:

Mom: Hey a new Qdoba! I wonder what type of food they have there.

Me: I'm guessing grilled mexican.

Mom: Obviously, but what type of food?

Me: ...Really?
 
girl: why do all cars have little lines that go across their back window?

me: it's the rear defroster...

girl: oh...i thought it was to help you line stickers up straight.

100% serious
 
i was playing football in like seventh grade and i had a jersey that said Couch for Tim Couch of the cleveland browns a kid on my team came up to me and said "why does your jersey say coach . . you're not the coach"
 
Dude. Bob Dylan doesn't do Knockin' on Heaven's Door. This is Bob Marley goddamnit. Just listen to the voice.
 
"How many poles do you ski with? Cause I saw some guy only skiing with one, he must have been really good."

It was so hard not to die laughing in the middle of class, especially since nobody else skis or would have found that hilarious.
 
in world history class:

teacher- "Why are we at war with countries in the Middle East?"

kid- "So we can get more sand for our beaches".

the sad part is how serious he was.
 
in history class we were watching a movie about the assassination of JFK and people r sitting around a desk watching the tape.

girl: wait. did they film this after he died???
 
Same thing with me...

I said, "Yeah my project is in the computer can I go take it out?" (referring to printing)

Teacher, "Nice try, but we don't vandalize school property here."
 
Me - "Kara, show me where America is on this map."

Kara - "Uhhh, right there"

Me - "Kara, thats Greenland. You should know where America is by your senior year of high school."

This is the same girl that thought the digestive system worked because of wind
 
A white kid randomly coming up to me and saying, "Hey nigga', wanna' buy some coke, a flatscreen or a gat? I'm straight outta' fucki' Compton, y'dig?" I laughed so hard.
 
"shrooms clear your drug test"
"If you have an organ donor sticker on your drivers license and you get in an accident the paramedics wont save you they'll kill you and take your organs"
there are some more i am trying to remember that i'll post later.
 
when my brother was like 13 he was talking to one of his friends on vacation somewhere via AIM.

he asked them and i quote, "do you guys get internet there?"
 
I was a server during my college years.

Drop off some onion rings as an appetizer to this table. Check back to refill drinks, ask how the onion rings are. This lady, no joke, looks at me and says, "These onion rings taste too much like onion rings." I was so shocked I just walked away and pretended it never happened.
 
im sure ive heard more stupid stuff but this was pretty recent... i was going surfing in NH, where most people diont knnow surfing exists, and it was april and most people think you cant surf when its that cold...anyway im walking to my car with my board and some old guy in complete shock is like, "Is that a surfboard!?!?!?"...i wanted to be like no dude i just carry this thing around everywhere.

it sounded a lot dumber in person lol
 
getting on the elevator...
"what floor do we want, L" kid"B, we're going to the basement" me"Oh yea, so what's the L for" kid"It stands for Lobby" me"Yea but why would you need a button for that" kid"For when you're on other floors and want to go to the lobby" me
or
"I am thinking about driving to Alaska this summer" me"You can't drive to Alaska, it's an island" girl"What the hell are you talking about, its not an island" me"Yes it is, haven't you ever seen it on a map" girl
ahaha, this thread is making me lose more faith in our race
 
Yesterday I was on a greyhound bus coming back from toronto sleeping with my shitty laptop on my lap. Some guy smelling of mouthwash and cigarettes wakes me up to ask if he can use my laptop to check his email.

I looked at for a second then told him " No were on a moving bus". He didn't understand that I can barely get an internet connection when I'm in my house let alone moving at 100 km/hr on the highway.
 
Ive got a few more:

Once this girl was convinced that eggs (the ones you eat) were chicken fetus's.

I knew a girl that though there has been a World war 3.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top