Stupidist thing any bodys ever said to you, ever.

so theres this black chick in my math/gym class. shes gotta make herself known because shes one of the few black kids at my school, and is always bitching at you if you say something that could be interpreted maybe the slightest bit racist. shes also just plain stupid to start off with. and CAN NOT stop talking, especially during class, and everyone is fricking annoyed to shit with her.

during math:

me - "shut up taylor nobody is even listening to you"

her - "yeah well if i had a dick it would be bigger than yours"

this one was her and another black kid in gym class:

other kid to his friend - "sup nigga"

taylor - "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY"

taylor tells the principal the kid's friend called her the N word, she bought it, they both get suspended for a day.

and again in math:

teacher - "stop talking"

taylor - "i am getting my books out!"

"STOP TALKING"

"I AM GETTING MY BOOKS OUT"

(teacher likes getting her mad) this goes on literally 5 or 6 more times, im laughing harder than i probably ever have in my life, before she says "SCREW Y'ALL" and stroms off, only to come back 30 minutes later eating a piece of pizza. wtf.
 
So it was poring rain practically all day and me and my mom get in the car to go somewhere
Her: did you notice the rain?
Me: look up out the windsheild and back at her
Her: awkwardly faces forward and starts the car
 
NO. Not with good vapes you don't. What IS liquid is the THC oil present in the weed. This is the shit that gets you high, understand? The plant itself does not. Vaporizers heat the weed to a point in between when THC becomes vapor, and the plant does not combust (ie, create smoke/burn).

 
well, drinking pee is definitely safer than drinking water from a random stream but assuming we are comparing pee to bottled water, its pretty safe to say pee is not cleaner than water.
 
my friend was super stoned at the time

friend: "wouldn't it be awesome if like in 20 years, they made everything in 3-d?"

me: "everything is already in 3-D."

friend: "wait.....oh yeah."
 
i was watching the lacrosse yesterday and my mom walks in and asks

my mom: what color is virginia?

me: white

my mom: oh so what color is duke?

she was totally serious
 
I actually read a thread in which someone posted something along the lines of...

"Isn't the sun like trillions of miles away? So these images could have, in a sense, happened several years ago."

completely serious too.
 
while watching a random science video in class, a clip of elephants eating came on, and i hear a girl say"awwww I love anteaters!"
Same girl told me to try her fiji water because it was "like wetter than other waters"
 
my sister came up to me out of nowhere and said this: "how do you break your skull?"

me: "uhh what?"

her: "to break your skull you need to hit it 68 times"

me: "what are you talking about?"

her:"you would die if you hit your head against the tv"

me: "why?"

her: "because its electric"

 
a few weeks ago I was at a party themed "anything but a cup" so my friend and i were drinking out of coconuts, and as we were funneling rum into them this girl comes up to us and goes: "OHHHHHHHHHH you're drinking out of pineapples! clever"and walked away.
 
i worked at the beach a few summers ago-Lady: What a lovely beach where do you guys get the sand from?
Me: Um, what do you mean?
 
this girl in my geo class thought Australia was in Europe cause all the well off nations are either in north america or Europe
 
It wasn't directed right to me, but to the group.

Anyways, while talking about these cookies it was said that

"they are peanut free, so they don't have any allergies in them"

 
A teacher of mine was talking about artist statements, he showed us a Michaelangelo (sp?) painting from the ceiling of the "Sixteenth" Chapel.
 
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so the Principal was my class talking about the football game that was coming up.

principal: we won by 20 last time

girl(this girl is a cheerleader at football games mind you): wait that's all?... I though it was like 200...

 
while talking about a book in relation to african americans:

blonde hoe: “Is africa in america???”

while asking questions for upcoming social studies final:

not-so-blonde-but-equally-as-dumb hoe: “will we need a calculator for this exam??”
 
sometimes you can buy eggs that have been fertilized. Usually at the farmers market though and it would say so on the carton.
 
so me and my two roommates decide to go over to one of my roommate's house who lives close to our college. we all decide that we want to watch the movie Troy since one of the guys hadn't seen it yet. no joke literally an hour into the movie my roommate who is sitting on the floor leans over and says, "So Brad Pitt is Troy right?" Literally the stupidest thing I have heard in a long time. He kept asking everyone who Troy was and everyone was just completely amazed at his stupidity.
 
theres a good chance i posted earlier in this thread and forgot about it, my memory has been a bit off lately for some really odd reason....
 
At the store that i work:Girl: Hey! Your trying to sell me a fake NIXON. This wath says NOXINMe: eee the watch is upside down...I wasnt sure if i sure laugh or cry
 
I had an emotional support girl in my Family Consumer Science class way back in middle school.

When the teacher asked her what food group chicken was in, she replied, "uhhhh, the milk group?"
 
holy fuck ive been wanting to make a thread about my stupid friend in one of my classes because he says the dumbest shit

1. we were watching this movie called the box (dont ask why because i have no idea either). anyways, there was a scene that someone said "humans are the only animals on earth to kill their own species". so i, flabbergasted, comment to another friends (not the stupid one) and say "thats BS, there are plenty of wild animals that kill their youth" and he agreed with me and added "yea, like im sure a bear would kill other bears to defend its territory." then the dumb kid comes in a says "yea, and bears kill humans too" ...

2. watching some other video about plastic surgery and this guy asks a question: "i dont mean to be rude, but how old are you ? " and the guy replies " well, as a ballpark figure, im nearing half a century". whole class: "holy fuck". dumb kid outloud: "whats half a century? "

3. talking about the laws of sex and shit like that. and we read an article that said that you had to be 18 to have anal sex. dumb kid: "so is that only between a guy and a guy?"

he says other things that sadly have slipped my mind. but im positive there will be more to come
 
not a quote but.... once i convinced my sister canada was a dictatorship run by nicholas flamel. (we're like 20 mins from the border) also, i had her thinking florida was a seperate nation for a while...
 
Upon leaving my house to embark on a 20 some hour drive from PA to the Florida Keys. I told my Gf we were gonna take I 95 all the way down the east coast to hit coastal route one at the top of the keys. This seems funny to her so she asks "Why don't we just take route 1 all the way down?"

Route one is the scenic coastal highway that winds through just about every town on the coast, it would probably take 4 days to drive that route.
 
It will always blow my mind that people can be so wrong and actually truly believe they are right.
 
So in biology we're looking at a chart of living things and this kid raises his hand and is dead serious and says : Aren't there supposed to be rocks on here??
I looked at him, then looked away and almost died from laughing so hard.
 
Not directly said to me, but to a friend:
"I can't go into the bathroom- it's vacant"
"Why are there golfers on the field?" (they were referees.)
"So that's a fish, right?" (it was a pelican)
 
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