What's the stupidest way you've injured yourself?

bdarb207

bdarb207

Active member
I'm kind of curious and I'm sure there is some funny stories out there. My shining moment was being one of two sophomores to make our varsity soccer team only to break my collar bone doing a bicycle kick in warm ups. Face palm much. ++ k for good ones
 
I was holding a set of pads for this kid to hit, he tried to throw a hook when he should have be jabbing, it glanced of the pad and broke my nose.
 
i know someone who jumped off his roof with an umbrella after watching mary poppins and he broke his arm
 
Tripping on mushrooms at Mt. Hood. Jumps were way to fast with a tailwind but did that stop me? oh no. The mushrooms encouraged me to send a 3 as big and magical as i could. It was amazing untill i overshot to flat and heard the sicking pop in my knee. One ACL = 6 months no skiing. :p
 
birthday in atlantic city, friends locked me out of the hotel room and wouldn't let me in because they wanted to screw with me for a few minutes. got super pissed and punched the door. broke a bone in my hand. /idiot.
 
Playing Touch Football in the gym

Start running to "tackle" a dude

Miss completely

Keep Running

Run Right into concrete cinderblock wall

Use Face to absorb impact

Bleed Everywhere

Get 7 stitches.
 
my brother was just out mellow riding his bike in the mountain parking lot before biking up the hill and he slipped off his pedals while pumping the front brakes and his sproket punctured his calf. also a while before that, he fractured his wrist during a water-gun wight on bikes (?)
 
There's like this steep ramp down to the basement of my school. I thought it was a good idea to ride my bike down it, so I rode down, coudlnt stop, theres like a 2 ft flat space bewteen the end of the ramp and a wall so i rode directly into the wall and knocked my teeth out.
 
i got my first knife when i was about 12 so obviously i thought i was a fucking badass. i was going around stabbing stuff and being a boss when i decided to try to stab my backpack. i somehow got the angle wrong and it glanced off and went straight into my thigh. it was a solid inch into the muscle and it hurt like a bitch but i didnt want my mom to find out so i never told her. it definitely needed stitches though
 
my friend and i were trying to collaspe a grage roof with bricks and so we were frowing them up in the air and on to the roof, (i bet u can see where this is going) so i threw a big one up didnt look to see if it had made it bend over to pick up another one and it came down and landed on my head. i went to hospital and told the nurse i fell out a tree, but then she found brick dust in the cut...................
 
heres another i was cycling down a hill by my house on my bmx, no hands like a boss. went over a spend hump bars twisted went flying like 10 foot screaming nooooooooooo (thats what they eyewitness said to my dad) got concussion and broke my collar bone
 
i slammed a super ball on the ground and like an idiot, i looked down to watch it come back up and it hit me in the eye. gave me a nice shiner.

 
tried to run with heelies on and forgot there were wheels on and slipped back broke my wrist and my hand in two places
 
I was 12, on my back patio (made entirely of bricks) scootering and trying tailwhips. I decided I needed more height and didn't have a jump so I took the picnic table that was on the patio, started at the far end and pushed. I decided that I would take a practice run first so I didn't try the trick, just popped off the end as high as I could like a badass, then got a little bit forward. Now when you think about a scooter, there are handlebars and I had no time to let go of those, so I let my face take the brute of the impact on the edge of said patio. I killed one tooth, destroyed my lips. Essentially, I curb stomped myself.
 
Drunk in Montreal for my 29th bday party. Slipped on some ice heading back into the basement bar and cracked my head open (literally) and somehow nailed my chin which resulted in am ambulance ride to the hospital, spending the night there and 40 something stitches in my dome piece. Good times.
 
i fell out of a shopping cart, landed right on my head. Severely fractured skull, subdural hematoma, and 4 metal pins later, here i am.
 
3 years old jumped off a swing, broke my leg and blamed it on my parents.

Or, this ski season, tried to hand drag a tiny hip, fucked up hard, corked onto my back on the knuckle.
 
(fuck u INS) jump off a huge pile of woodchips, landed on my forehead, it was like 12 stutches, nobody ever doubted ne after that though!
 
Running across the street to my neighbor's house and i ended up tripping over a bright yellow curb and landing in gravel and now i have a scar on my knee
 
Growing up my best friend, Dane, and I always used to have competitions. One day we decided to have a contest involving the swing set. After about an hour of stupid stuff I decided I could stand on the swing and swing no-handed. So I did. That lasted all of about three seconds and I fell flat onto my face and stomach, knocking the wind out of me and resulting in black eyes. I didn't win that competition.
 
i stepped off the school bus in third grade and tripped over the curb, shredded my knees and broke my wrist.
 
sliced my index finger open which bled for hours, after sharpening my knife and then testing how good the grip is by squeezing it and pushing against a surface.

the grip turned out to be not as good as I thought.
 
When I was 7 my sister smacked me in the head "accidentally" with a shovel...she was digging and I leaned in to take a look and got nailed by her. No concussion or anything like that, but did make a nice gash on my eyebrow/forehead that needed stitches.
 
haha that reminds me. one time i found a pair of scissors with playdo or something all over the blade part. i decided to get it off by pushing my thumb along the edge. one of the dumber things ive done, my thumb was cut pretty deep and it hurt like a bitch
 
I was once in the midst of a particularly vigorous session in the bedroom, accidentally pulled out too far, picked the wrong trajectory for re-entry, and sprained my nethers.

also two weeks ago I managed to drop an entire motorcycle on my foot at the junkyard, managing to break some shit. woops.
 
When I was four, I wanted to "booby trap" someone so i took a lightbulb and put it in a doorway. As I crawled away to my hiding place, I cut my knee wide open on the lightbulb by crawling over it.
 
i was sitting at studyhall, studying, and this one friend of mine comes over to me and says "put your finger in this stapler"..... now, being a friend, i honestly thought he would never do something like that but... i was wrong. i put my finger in there and he stapled my fucking finger. the staple literally entered from one side and came out of the other, dunno how it missed the bone. it didn't hurt, but it was fucking cool to see how i was taking it out from side to side
 
When I was 5, I jumped into a pile of leaves. turned out these leaves were booby-trapped with sticks. Stick cut through my pants, and my leg leaving me with a 6 inch gash on my calf. Went to the hospital, told nurse what happened, didn't believe me and thought my parents cut me with a knife. ended up with 17 stitches right before my family trip to Mexico.
 
thats what happened with me but it was a driver.. my cousin who was about 7 was about to go golfing. me (9) decided to watch and i got nailed in the forehead. at first it didnt hurt that much, its just the impact that shocked me and i saw the blood. then i started to cry and waited in the emergency for 7 hours to get some stitches. still have the scar now but its pretty small.
 
dislocated my knee during tennis, pushed it back in a second after i fell

tripped on a root while camping and as i fell my fore arm scrapped the corner of a picknic table, now has scar.

was messing around with my mountain bike and hit a little 2 foot jump, as i landed my right foot slipped off the pedal and tore open my knee, scar but no stiches.
 
i had a fractured collarbone and decided that climbing over my fence after i locked myself out one night would be a good idea. it was like 4am and i was drunk, and naturally when i got to the top of it i totally bailed and tumbled over the thing and cracked my collarbone right through. fun times. hurt like a motherfucker.
 
used to just throw 3's and 5's jumping off the last 3rd or 4th stair. landed one foot on top of each other, broken foot.
 
Junior year of college, I was absolutely hammered and decided I was going to ride a mini fridge off our roof like a sled. Ended up having to get stitches in my head and broke two fingers and my thumb. I consider myself lucky. Definitely not my proudest moment though...
 
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