What's the stupidest way you've injured yourself?

one of my friends broke his collar bone doing a handstand before practice and he was on line to fo to nationals for cross country-ive broke my thumb sledding into a cinder block

-broke my nose because a girl at a rave elbowed me in the face
 
In music class in the fifth grade we had to do this scavenger hunt thing and one of the things we had to do was stab a piece of paper with a pencil a certain number of times. Being smart I sat down, put the paper on my knee and stabbed. I still have a graphite tatoo on my thing right above my knee......
 
Broke the growth plate in my left pinky while playing basketball on one of those little kid plastic Fisher Price basketball hoops. I was trying to toss is off the backboard and then dunk but it went right between the ring finger and pinky and just completely broke my growth plate
 
No idea how but I got my ski stuck in between the other skis bindings right in the middle of the boot and the ski. Hurt like a bitch
 
i tried to switch 9 chads gap and i broke my ankles

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haven't read these but mine is pretty bad.

i threw a lax ball at the ground really hard and it came up and hit me in the face fracturing my jaw, breaking two teeth which i'm getting implants for next month and chipping another tooth. this happedned like two years ago and i still have to deal with it.
 
mountain biking.

I had spent the past 3 days in the Whistler Bike Park, hit a few goals for the week (no dabs on crack addict, clean full run of upper whistler DH to lower joyride to 4X, ect..) anyway, after that I decided to go dirt jumping the next day, nothing crazy, just some jumps in a friends back yard.

Near the end of the day I decided to go back to the big ramp to hit some bigger jumps. I get to the top of the ramp, clip my pedal while im rolling in. Flip over the bars fall 20 ft onto my head. leads to 3 fractured vertebrae, lacerated liver, lacerated kidney, concussion, torn muscles all through my back, and I brused half my face (Through my full face helmet) Also I nearly split my helmet in half.

After I woke up on the ground with all my friends telling me they thought i died I told them "Its okay, im dreaming. Just let me walk this off" I walked 20 feet and lay back down. 2 mins later the ambulance arrived.

TL;DR: Best week of riding in my life, clip pedal on steep ramp, break my everything. walk it off.
 
this wins.

i backflipped on a minitramp and landed on my shins on the metal frame, 4 puncture wounds 8 stitches on each leg
 
ooo and i was walking into school, scoping out a rail to my right and walked directly into a cement pillar. 4 stitches above my left eye
 
Last summer I was trying a nollie 270 off a rail on a summer setup, and somehow I managed to slice my thumb with my edge resulting in a few stitches and fucked up nerves. From now on I always wear gloves...
 
Tried to do a 540 on flats in my 183 GS skis whilst going along. Made it to 500 and partially tore my lateral ligament haha
 
I have mannyyyyyy stories with unluck injuries. my favorite is biking down a hill and waving too my neighbors; then proceeding hit there mailbox, sending it flying into their yard 20 feet. that was time #3 I cracked my head open
 
Jumping off my roof with an umbrella like Mary Poppins. When that didn't work I upgraded to a higher roof and a garbage bag, which resulted in a sprained ankle and a sore face.
 
One time, I was extreme pogo-sticking, and my neighbors dog came running at me, and I fell. Broken wrist. It was sick, 'cause when people asked how I broke it, I could say, "Yeah, I fell extreme pogo-sticking, NBD."

 
Jumped off a shed probably like 8 ft tall and fell over and hit my thigh on a wheelbarrow that was parked on the lawn. Got a nice big bruise and it is still discolored a bit to this day.
 
I beat fucking all of you. If you have any contact with me you know that I dont have a front tooth due to the fact that when I was 9-10 ish I had to shit so bad and was Prairie dogging and I was sprinting to the toilet and fell and knocked out one of my adult teeth on the seat. I also didnt manage to make it and shit my pants... I was in school.
 
oh, and i shot a lacrosse ball from under my deck sidearm, i shot too high, and it hit the part that hangs down, and it bounced and hit me in the nose. i bled so much. luckily it wasn't broken
 
when i was 4 and a half I decided to pretend to be rudolph the red-nose reindeer (it was near christmas time). part of this included the plan of jumping off of my couch pretending to be pulling santa's sleigh. i slipped climbing up the couch and broke my elbow. yeahhhhh my family still gives me shit for that one.
 
Well, just today I was trying a toeside standup slide on my longboard. I somehow lost one foot, and kept the other on the board. I ended up doing a split, getting some solid road rash on my heel (my shoe got scraped off first) and pulling my groin. Feelsbadman.
 
I slipped getting out of the shower today, tried to save it, and tweaked the fuck out of my neck. Now I can't look to the left without getting shooting pain. Fuck.
 
This summer i cut through the closed windells park and went over the bag jump thinking i would catch tranny pon the other side. Turns out it was a 15 shear wall to flat. landed directly on my face and broke my hand.
 
uh i rode a razor scooter off a curb and ate shit into a parked car then fell off onto the ground and broke 3 fingers...

i also broke my collarbone getting pushed over from 4ft...

and.... i was manualing down a hill on my skateboard when i was like 15 and hit a sewer grate and ended up blacking out and ending up in the hospital.

pretty much everytime i hurt myself is stupid though.
 
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