What's the stupidest way you've injured yourself?

I was skating at woodward and i fell off the 6 foot quarter pipe and broke my wrist. i wasen't even skating on it, i just straight up fell off the side. i also broke my elbow taking a shit, i turned around to flush the toilet and hit it on the tank, i was like 7 or 8 then,
 
Ah, I remember another funny one.
I was like 4 or 5. I was hungry, but my parents wasn't in the kitchen. So I decided to climb up the fridge, and I held on to the handles opening the fridge. Leaning all my weight on it, the door opened, and one second after that the fridge fell onto me. After that I hit my head on the floor and got the fridge on top of me. Concussion, bruises and broken fingers.Now I wonder why I didn't just go out in the livingroom and ask for some food...
 
when I was really little i was running around the house and some how managed to get into my brothers room and my ear hit the corner of his night stand and it put a hole in my ear.

Also I've gotten many concussions by accidentally jumping off my trampoline.
 
Popped my shoulder out putting my hand on a tube a slipping

a kid i know was snow boarding (2nd time) doing maybe 2mph and caught his toe edge side slipping broke both his wrists and sperated his shoulder.
 
that reminds me, when i was little i was jumping on the bed i slipped and hit my face on a wine glass on a bedside table, got a chunk of glass stuck right below my eyebrow
 
fucking fell on a rail that i'd hit hundreds of times before and randomy slipped off and broke my fucking kneecap. out for the rest of the season
 
Skate session, walking (for some reason) to the next spot, basically tech decked w/ a regular deck, truck hit a corner of a newspaper stand, deck meets mouth fat lip for about a week. Not too bad but retarded.
 
During warm ups before my hockey game this kid threw a performance power bar at me. it hit me in the elbow and fucked up my nerves and couldn't make fist or feel my hand for a week.
 
kid i know woke up with two broken wrists laying next to the bunkbed he must have fallen out of in his sleep, didn't even wake him up, still dunno how thats possible
 
I was balancing on a soccer ball when this kid kicked it out from underneath me- I caught myself and broke my wrist.

Another good one:

I was running in my neighborhood at night when I tripped over an unmarked speed bump (completely black) and ended up with a huge chunk of pavement in my knee.
 
when i was 12 i was with some friends blowing up glass bottles with fireworks (smart right?) and just to up the ante, we decided to do it in the woods, barefoot, with the nearest hospital being 1.5 hours away. I nearly severed my right big toe, 5 stitches to hold it on, missed the tendon by a millimeter. I may be an idiot, but at least I'm a lucky one haha
 
I fell asleep in 6th grade spanish class, fell out of my chair and fractured my skull. According to my friends my teacher was yelling at me to wake up well i was on the floor unconscious. When i told the nurse at the hospital what happened she laughed for a good 10 minutes.
 
I fell asleep in 6th grade spanish class, fell out of my chair and fractured my skull. According to my friends my teacher was yelling at me to wake up well i was on the floor unconscious. When i told the nurse at the hospital what happened she laughed for a good 10 minutes.
 
caught my front tip when i was doing a nollie at a speed of mock nine. flew about 20 feet and broke my collar bone. then slid for another 1000 feet
 
kid in my art class smashed his clay pot on the ground and a peace of it cut off his thumb. blood was spraying out of it!
 
ohhhhhhhhh god do i have a story for you....allright well its the night before a big summer lacrosse tournament so im stringin up a new head, so i finish up and grab a knife to trim the access string, after i finish up i toss the knife on the bed, i think nothing of it and go downstairs to grab a drink come back up and sit on my bed....guess what is now three intches deep in my bed, yeppp the knife i lean back on my bed without thinking twice and yank it out and my leg and limp over to my bathroom my leg is gushing at this point ive never seen so mych blood at once there a blood trail from my room to the bathroom its everyyywhere....so i decide that i need to make a turnacite (excuse my spelling) and tie it off real tight and in my mind im freaking out decideing weather to go to the suck it up or go tell my mother that at 2 in the morning that i stabbed my self in the back of the thigh... after a long time of panic thinking i decide im just gonna tough it out because i really wanted to go to the tournament the next day (bad choice i know) so i keep the turnacate on my leg and after hours of a restless head and truely wondering if i could die from this im able to fall asleep. so the next morning i jump on the bus for 2 days of lacrosse. needless to say i went to the medical tent and got my leg cleaned up so it didnt get infected
 
playing red rover in 6th grade, kids decided that it would be funny to trip me, i broke my collarbone.

Last fall i was playing soccer in Gym class and one of the football douchefags rapped his leg in between mine while i was running and snapped my leg.

 
sneezed in class in middle school and hit my head on my desk. just a bruise but still hilarious!

jumped off the swing in my yard in kindergarten and landed on a stump and broke my arm. stump is no more.
 
drunk parkour is my favorite shit in the world.. but painful at times i gave myself a concussion last time I tried.
 
haha it was like 3 years ago so yea it was my baby teeth actually, but i looked like a goofy motherfucker for like 6 months
 
ummmm lets see...

licked a cactus when i was young

broke my elbow ridin my bike by crashing into one of those wires that supports telephone poles that didnt have the yellow thing on it

broke my collarbone playing FRISBEE GOLF

broke it again this same summer at some unknown time

 
Went to wipe my ass, my neck seized up.

Kink in my neck for 3 days, couldn't move my head without extreme pain. Haha

 
NOT ME

My sis when a toddler got out of the bathtub sprinted around the house and ran into a mirror. cut her lip up to the nose. hahahaha dumb ass.

ME

biking down hill straight into a mear parked car broke my femur and got 14 stitches. no skiing for a year.
 
Slicing a bagel, friend tells me too look at something, looked up, knife went into my thumb, needed 7 stiches.

Decided to backflip jump first hit, realize the lip had been reshaped and cut down, got caught in the air, broken thumb with that needed surgery, 3 pins and a cast for two months.

In 2nd grad my friend got a new bike that had pegs and mine didn't. So we were riding down a hill and he was standing on his pegs no handed so I got jealous and wanted to show him up by standing up on the seat of my bike. Obviously I didn't make it very far and crashed but got lucky and just got cut up pretty bad.

Not me, but in third grade my friend was learning to ski and didn't know how to stop and skied into the woods, so his mom decided to ski down to help him and in the process fell on my friend and broke his leg.

The same friend was sledding and decided he would try "off road sledding" down some sketchy path and ended up going over a cinder block and literally tearing a chunk of his ass out.
 
playing home run derby and i moved behind my friend to see where the ball went. my friend, "dude you're pretty close scoot back a little." me, "just swing the bat." two seconds later there's a river of blood running down my face and a cut clear to my skull.
 
So me and my brother were throwing rocks under a bridge. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and my brother accidentally hurtled a rock right at my stomach. I tried to dodge the rock by ducking but I ended up taking the rock to my forehead. Stupid reflexes.
 
A couple years ago i was ridin my scooter without a helmet. hit a rock. and had the scooter hit me in the head. 10 stitches later and 1000 dollars i learned not to scooter any more
 
In second grade I was chasing my friend around a park, and he jumped out of the way really fast; not being able to stop I ended up going nose first into a picnic table and breaking it.
 
just this past week, bruised my heel sliding down a metal pole off the school roof when the cops caught us, a few days later broke my big toe getting towed on water skis across my friend's farm.
 
2 weeks ago. Got stoked for homemade pizza, dug right in for a slice, didn't have a shirt on, scorching hot pizza sauce straight on the belly button and burnt my tongue. Burnt belly button legit comes to a tie with nut pain.
 
Proving that I could do a backbend from standing, to impress some guy. Popped my knee out of the socket and couldn't walk for almost a week. Now I dislocate them regularly. Fucking cheerleading....
 
checked out my friends summersettups, got on top of it and then a part under one of my feet broke and i fell onto a rock onto my head 30 min befor a lax game
 
Keep in mind I was younger but i stomped on a golf tee expecting it to snap but instead it went right through my shoe into my foot. Also another time i was pogo sticking on a wet wood deck I ended up falling and getting a huge black eye and some stitches.
 
slipped on concrete and got a concussion at woodward without even skating

super mild tho and skated the next day
 
was so baked at a bonefire i tried picking up a log that was on fire, since my nerves were super delayed i held on for awhile then finally let go.....it didnt hurt until like 10 minutes later....bitch and a half though
 
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