The best gaper quotes

not a quote. but 6'5" 300 pound texan fell onto my 5 year old cousin while getting off the lift and snapped his femur. hes been in a wheel chair since December
 
Ski Patrol gapers: HEY! you're skiing out of control
Me: no, i was skiing switch
Ski Patrol gapers: no, you were skiing backwards, and you almost hit some people! You were skiing way beyond your ability!
Me: i was skiing switch, and i could see where i was going, plus I'm an instructor here.
Ski Patrol: oh... dont do it again
ski patrol= straight gapeage
 
riding the excellerator chair in blackcomb

gaper: those are some short poles, are you one of those people who likes to ski close to the ground?
 
Obesity claims another victim hehe! But +vibes for your poor cousin. Hope the experience doesn't sour his opinion of skiing, just Texans hahaha!
 
This 75 year old guy is next to me and my cousin and her friend on an epic pow day.He is wear skin tight clothing and a classic gaper pom pom hatmy cousins friend is dressed like a gaper (purposely)The old guy starts randomly singing "Don't Stop Believing" at the top of his lungsWe are already cracking upHe tries to air guitar and slides forwardHe flinches like he almost fell offThen he says "Who nelly, I think i might have shat my pants a little!"Then he comments on my cousin's friend's clothes and how "SWEET!" they areBefore we get off the lift he says "so how do you think the groomers are today?"
 
Dude its all about singing some miley sirus or hillary duff shit throw some taylor swift in there. "its a love story baby just say yes"
 
I have 07 J.O. Pro's

Gaper: How do you ski with those on your skis? Don't you get distracted?

Happens at least twice a day. Im getting sick of it.
 
Unfortunately there are only so many stupid things that can be said about skiing and at page 50 they have all been covered.
 
Ski tech at my shop after I tell him that TNKs are 85-86 underfoot

"well thats not very wide. My 4frnts are almost 115."

me"ya, thats kinda why theyre park skis. Thats why I want them mounted true center"

I pick my skis up a week later and the retard has them at core center. what a noob
 
I was at the top of the jump line at kings crown and there was this total gaper talking to his friend. He said like " ok im gonna do it now" so I asked him if he was gonna try to hit the jumps. He said he only wanted to clear it halfway to the flat part. I told him that wasn't the greatest idea then later i saw him stop at the top of the lip, decide it was too big, and try to ski off sideways from about 7 feet up hahaha
 
gaper-whoa, are your skis double sided?

me-yeah, twintip

gaper-those are fat!

me-there for powder

gaper-wats powder?

me-soft snow

gaper-but all snows soft

me-fresh snow

gaper-ohhhh, how do you do groomers on them?

me-i dont there for powder and cliffs and stuff.

gaper-cliffs?

me-yeah.

gaper-can you do a backflip?
 
Uncle - so do you have trick skis?

Me - yeah i guess so

Cousin - so they're the really short ones?

Me - ...no....

cousin - oh well you should get those

my Cousin and uncle continued to talk about blades for several minutes after
 
this thread makes me want to jump off an airplane into shark infested water after drinking 4 gallons of milk with a coral snake wrapped around my neck and an angry king cobra stuffed into my pants
 
at a gaper mtn in southern NH with some friends it has a small park and lots of asians on saturday night renting... dont ask me why
me: dont stand between the jumpsasian: wa??me: u cant stand in between the jumps u might hurt someone and ur just in everyones wayasian: im waiting for a friend and these are racing bumpsme:....... bahahahahahahah racing bumps?!?!asian: yes the racers use themme: this is a terrain park where we do tricks now gfto and dont come down this trail again

also lady: you do tricks?me: yeplady: can u backflip?me: ive triedlady:dont try again cuz u can get hurtme: i try new tricks all the timelady:just dont try dangerous onesme: ........ *sigh*
 
1 more...
me and gaper friends do a ski club where the school brings u to a mtn for like 5 days and blah blah blah
Friends: those skiis r wood?me: yea they're the line afterbangsfriends: wow from when 1950me: nope from 2010friends:*confused looks*me: the wood makes them durable the way they're shaped they are really poppy and can butter easilyfriends:*confused looks*.... who wants to raceme: fuck this im going to the park

they also didnt get why u couldnt see through my googles... they have like 10 dollar scotts i have oakley crowbars with fire iridium
 
I'm taking a pair of binding off my s4's on my kitchen table and my grandmother looks at me and does a double take and then says isn't that a really narrow snowboard? Lol
 
gaper power!
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YUUUUUPPPPP, I get every years J.O. pros and everytime I get that question.
Or like the EP pros, a snowboarder asked me, did you put ski bindings on two snowboards? FACEPALM.
 
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