The best gaper quotes

(after landing a backflip with some friends when some friends of my friends come over)
gaper: yeah that was pretty cool. i think im gonna land a 360 then try that
me:....................................
 
I have to share this one: I was on the lift at my home hill and there where a few guys skiing right under the lift. I heard one of them saying "oh Bro these new sticks are soooo sick" (it came out in the gaperest way possible)I then looked down to see he had on new Blends or something with Barons/Dukes and I didn't think much of it.. the guy just got new skis no biggie. His "Bro" turned to the friend and yelled "oh dude! you should set them in Tele mode so you can ski the powder better!" I was thinking to myself that there was no fucking way the guy was that dumb but he stops, clicks out of his skis and proceeds to put them into touring mode. By this point I was at the top and decided to ski down to see if he had actually done it. I got to the spot and found the one guy lying on his face while his Bro was talking about how the Bindings must have been broken. The level of stupidity was shocking to say the least.
 
One guy (about 14 yrs old) was trying to catch lift. (first time in skiing?) Always he failed . then we were like : Omg , go to ski school.

Then he told us so cool; ''No im just waiting for a friend''

Then he fall down and lifts were stopped. KHEHEHEHE
 
some of the worst are parents who take their kids on leashes or take them on too steep of terrain (or don't challenge them enough). one lady and her kid were regulars at my mountain and she would take him out on the green runs under the intermediate lift and say "big pizza! biiiig pizza!" the poor kid would fall after about 10 seconds of straight running pizza.I actually hate the ones who put their kids on leashes because I have to deal with the kids' horrible stance and timidness in lessons.
 
I took of my hell Bents and walked inside to eat I came out side to put them on and gp up when 2 little gapers Told me " hey mister your skis are broken, what made them bend like that?" jahah
 
N00b: this park has no fun boxes!
me: it has plenty of boxes...
n00b: no a fun box is one that goes up then horizontal, then down!!
Me: sure...
 
The gaper: Whoa.....are those double tip skis?Me: *inward sigh*.... uhhh ya...The gaper: Man i need to get me some of those double tip skis.

I was too fed up to even attempt to correct him.
 
O i have another one. Just before i say this I have nothing against my dad, hes cool, but he makes the wierdest totallly gaper comments ever... here's one of his best.
Dad: So what did you do for your competition?Me: Well, the jumps were way too close together so i just did some 3's and hit the box.Dad: (Stares blankly at me for about 5 seconds straight) wait so you did a HELICOPTER????Me: yes, dad, yes i did a helicopter. ( Walk away)
 
my boyfriend is a snowboarder and a bit of a gaper haha. he actually called jumps ramps once. all i could do was raise my eyebrows at him
 
He's thinking of a skate funbox:
fun-box_large.jpg

he's not that far off.
 
really hes not far off at all. i dont think i have ever heard a box in the terrain park get called a fun box. unless it was a skate park style fun box feature?
 
"what do the springs on your skis do? do they make them stiffer or something..?" gaper whilst looking at my griffons....
 
i went sking with an old amily friend and their children and to be fair it was his 2nd time in the park.

but i told him that when you just ride onto a box and hit it straight its called a 50/50 he then said can i go and 50/50 a jump then

 
i had a conversation with my uncle about the winter olympics. he was telling me how there was this race with some skiiers and they would go over jumps and he was pretty sure that it was a requirement that they had to do a flip...

It was like a ten minute conversation and i wasn't a dick at all, though i was laughing on the inside. I could have scripted like the whole conversation but ^thats just a little bit of how it went.
 
Dude i ride alpental too and crystal skiers are just the worst once at crystal going down green valley on a powder day riding my ARG's a gaper says

Gaper: HEy you hey get out of the powder your gonna get stuck

Me: I have powder skis

Gaper: still u wanna be careful you might get stuck and drown

Gaper: and why are your clothes so baggy you look like a retarded snowboarder

Me: i push him and ski away laughing
 
Once getttin on a lift on a powder day at snowbird i moved up 2 people to be with my friends and this is what happened

Gaper: HEY YOU KID!!!

Me: What do you wnat

Gaper: hey get back here

Me: i gotta get with my friends sir

Gaper: no no no NOW YOUR FRIENDS ARE BACK HERE

Me: oh oh ok what are u going to do gaper

Gaper: I WILL FUCKING END YOU LITTLE BITCH

Me: u Know my dads right here

Gaper: I DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK GET BACK TO THE END OF THE FUCKING LINE

Me: no and we get on the lift and he gets kicked out by the ski patrol
 
i had my own gaper quote on the last day of the season hahahaI'm sittin there at Cataloochee ski resport in NC on their last day, they had a 60 somethin foot box put together it was pretty cool.anyways only one other skier was there hitting the box, so we are chatting it up (he has no clue how completely high i am) and i was talking about how i was going to try a one footer to hippy killer thing at the very end, because all i had been doing was board sliding it all day.
sparknotes: i referred to just sliding the box as a board slide.
I hope that kid is on NS and sees this
 
one time i was in the park and i did a 3. this guy then came up to me and asked me if i got dizzy doing helicopters. i didnt even answer.
 
today i was in home depo getting stuff for my summer setup. some lady asked me what i was doing. the conversation went something like this.

Lady: whats that for

Me: a ski setup

Lady: you can ski in the summer???

Me: yea

Lady: what skis do you use?

Me: twin tips

Lady: whats that?

Me: skis

Lady: how do you do it?

Me: uhhh?
 
I had that happen too. Only it was with an employee that seemed a little slow and talked like he popped a few of his moms estrogen pills before he went to work
 
riding up the chairlift, my friend and i were talking about our favorite skiers, and this gaper kid next to us says his is Shane McConkey. Then he told us how Shane taught him to do backflips and rode all the time with him in Whistler before he passed away. At the top of the lift, the gaper rides away, and my friend and i literally pissed our pants laughing
 
it was gaper day, and i looked like an idiot.gaper- "hey cool outfit bro!'he was dead serious. i died a little inside.
another was on the lift, some gaper and his dad were snowboarders from bama. the dad said, "see ya'll in the park!" his son replied, "hes a skier, he probably doesnt even know what the park is!' i proceeded to drop before them, do a 1, then a switch 5, then 270 on 270 off a dfd rail.
 
well this isnt a gaper, but it is still a fucking idiot.

at the bank, im wearing a big shirt, and a lumberjack jacket

my mom to the teller: "this is my son"

teller: "oh hello how are you, what are you into"

me: "biking and skiing, i love them!" (all happy and talking nicely, not rude at all)

my mom: "oh yeah hes crazy about skiing!"(then the teller proceeds to insult me and my whole family)

teller: "oh, like boarding?"

i pause

me, with a look of incredulity on my face: "skiing"

how oblivious are some people
 
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