The best gaper quotes
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powerbong2000
Member
this thread is like 50% lies.
Dwarftosser1
Active member
Not to mention the majority of posts in here are by people with tiny post counts, it's weird.
Brule.
Active member
This happened to me yesterday at lovely Mount Jore while in the lift line for the triple chair.
*Myself and two of my friends get in line after the liftie checks out passes, and another group of 3 slide behind us and accidentally steps on our skis*
Man: "Whoa there, fancy skis."
*myself and my friends look back*
Man: "Do you do any flips and whilry-doos on those skis?"
Me: "I'm not really good at it, I just film a lot in the park."
*I turn toward two of my friends and start lol'ing*
Man: *turns to his maybe wife* "those are the guys that do those 360's and flippy-do's.
*myself and my friends sit down on the chair, then I proceed to lose it laughing*
*Myself and two of my friends get in line after the liftie checks out passes, and another group of 3 slide behind us and accidentally steps on our skis*
Man: "Whoa there, fancy skis."
*myself and my friends look back*
Man: "Do you do any flips and whilry-doos on those skis?"
Me: "I'm not really good at it, I just film a lot in the park."
*I turn toward two of my friends and start lol'ing*
Man: *turns to his maybe wife* "those are the guys that do those 360's and flippy-do's.
*myself and my friends sit down on the chair, then I proceed to lose it laughing*
powerbong2000
Member
strange psychology
slaagmaster
Member
gaper: you are peeing on your skiis!!!!!
jong: they are not my skiis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jong: they are not my skiis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
stupendous-man
Active member
I say this all the time (obvious napoleon dynamite reference)
CrapBandit
Member
ma boy Jossi
CrapBandit
Member
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cannonballer
Member
You were going up a lift underneath the park?
Slurpsicle.
Member
Got on the lift the other day with some older geezers and as we got on the guy next to me starts to comment on my armada ar7s. He said, "is armada like a model of K2 skis? I've never seen those kind before, are they like a special-made local model?"
I just chuckled and told him that, yee gods!, armada is in fact it's own ski company. After that him and his friends chatted about the old days using skinny skis for the rest of the ride.
I just chuckled and told him that, yee gods!, armada is in fact it's own ski company. After that him and his friends chatted about the old days using skinny skis for the rest of the ride.
Wrenn
Member
I just got injured for the second time in a season and this girl at my school is like "You're not that good I bet I'm better than you I've skied down black diamonds"
Another time I was skiing with these 2 guys that seemed like they just weren't that good and I wasn't using poles that day they told me "Skiing with poles is so much better you can do helicopters with them" also one of them kept telling me he could do 5's. Later that week I saw him on 3 ft wide box and he could only do a 180.
Another time I was skiing with these 2 guys that seemed like they just weren't that good and I wasn't using poles that day they told me "Skiing with poles is so much better you can do helicopters with them" also one of them kept telling me he could do 5's. Later that week I saw him on 3 ft wide box and he could only do a 180.
.lencon
Active member
Not really a gaper but..
*watching Olympics with mom*
her: he's going backwards!
me: um yeah..switch
her: *sees henrick harlaut* omg he's so good he's like flipping and spinning at the same time!
me: yeah..corks
her: skip this back I want to show your dad
*dad comes into room* btw he's a really good skiier you did tricks back in the day
dad: I like these comps, they're cool
mom: these guys are crazy, they could die
dad: well it's not like it's their first time trying..the practice in foam pits and stuff ALL THE TIME
*mom and dad get into small argument about how they're "crazy"
*dad walks away to finish whatever he's doing*
*me and mom continue to watch Olympics*
*mom watches like nick geopper or someone*
mom: hmmm?
me: what?
mom: that one guy with the dreads wasn't that good, they're all doing the same thing..
me: *stares at her then packs bags and moves*
haha true story
*watching Olympics with mom*
her: he's going backwards!
me: um yeah..switch
her: *sees henrick harlaut* omg he's so good he's like flipping and spinning at the same time!
me: yeah..corks
her: skip this back I want to show your dad
*dad comes into room* btw he's a really good skiier you did tricks back in the day
dad: I like these comps, they're cool
mom: these guys are crazy, they could die
dad: well it's not like it's their first time trying..the practice in foam pits and stuff ALL THE TIME
*mom and dad get into small argument about how they're "crazy"
*dad walks away to finish whatever he's doing*
*me and mom continue to watch Olympics*
*mom watches like nick geopper or someone*
mom: hmmm?
me: what?
mom: that one guy with the dreads wasn't that good, they're all doing the same thing..
me: *stares at her then packs bags and moves*
haha true story
One time I really ate shit bad on a rail. I was sure I fractured a rib but I only ended up bruising them. After I fell, I had to lay there for a minute because it hurt real bad to breathe. A group of guys came over to see if I was okay. I told them I was good and that I just needed a minute. I heard one of the guys yell oh shit a couple seconds later! I look over and this kid hit the fucking rail. I was about two feet away from it with a groups of guys around me. It should have been pretty obvious something was going on. He didn't hit any of us but one of the guys chased him down and I guess the kid said something along the lines of "maybe you should learn how to ski." It was pretty retarded.
John18_6
Active member
I just thought it was really cute how people at school would talk to me about some of the olympic freeskiers.
friend: "I really liked the guy with the dreadlocks and falling down pants, who did you like?"
me: "Everyone killed it, but you can't go wrong with dollo."
friend: "who's dollo? was he the guy who saved the puppies?"
friend: "I really liked the guy with the dreadlocks and falling down pants, who did you like?"
me: "Everyone killed it, but you can't go wrong with dollo."
friend: "who's dollo? was he the guy who saved the puppies?"
toastyteenagers
Active member
"I ski triple black squares"
I further asked the gaper on rental skis,
"Name one skier"
He responded
"Shaun white"
I further asked the gaper on rental skis,
"Name one skier"
He responded
"Shaun white"
Jamieson1998
Member
In kitzbuhel in Austria on a chair lift
g: Where you from ? (strong german accent)
me: The uk
g:you cant ski in the uk, but youre really good
m: We ski in fridges and on dry slopes
g: Thats out ridiculous
I gave up
g: Where you from ? (strong german accent)
me: The uk
g:you cant ski in the uk, but youre really good
m: We ski in fridges and on dry slopes
g: Thats out ridiculous
I gave up
Julius_Steezer
Member
At Lake Louise last year, a guy was waiting in the singles line and got on with us (me and 2 mates on a quad) and a gaper dad starts having a go at him for pushing in. I tell him its a singles line and so the entire point is that the occupants of said line fills up single spots but this guy was still not a happy camper. By this point the lift gates have opened so I get on and just start laughing at how this gaper has not understood what may be the most simple concept on the entire mountain.
yungsteeze
Member
Can this thread please be obliterated
John18_6
Active member
Not really a gaper but more of a cool surprise.
My church hosts this ski trip every year and one of the skiers who I ski with most of the time is in their 50s and basically has that signature "I ski 3 days a year" look to them (properly fitted columbia jacket, solid color, 7+ years old). I'm chatting with him on the chairlift and he asks about what kind of tricks I like to do. So I am very honest about my Minnesotan habit of 95% rails 5 % jumps, give a mini-lecture on rail trickology:
Me: "Staple rail tricks for good rail skiers are the 4 "feds" (k-fed, b-fed, ray-fed, pretz-fed) which is where you do a 180 on the rail after sliding on it a.k.a. a change-up followed by a 270 spin out of the rail, the names correlate to the directions of both the spins."
Him: "Interesting... So have you seen those crazy guys who do the street skiing?? Some of those maniacs jump off roofs!"
Me: "URBAN. Yes, I participate as well."
Him: "You're crazy, you better be safe."
Me: "Don't sweat it. I try to be reasonable. It's my favorite type of skiing because it's like the back-country for a skier in Minneapolis; a lot of prep and danger for a short but well worth payoff- and that's the attraction of it."
Him: "I never thought about it like that, my son who skis Jackson almost everyday put it like that for the touring he likes to do around there."
Basically, I expect him to know nothing about freeskiing, but it turns out that his ski-bum son has exposed him to plenty of it. So then we continue on a deep and profound conversation on the applications/implications that being a skier can have on your life- a convo which would bore all of you to tears.
My church hosts this ski trip every year and one of the skiers who I ski with most of the time is in their 50s and basically has that signature "I ski 3 days a year" look to them (properly fitted columbia jacket, solid color, 7+ years old). I'm chatting with him on the chairlift and he asks about what kind of tricks I like to do. So I am very honest about my Minnesotan habit of 95% rails 5 % jumps, give a mini-lecture on rail trickology:
Me: "Staple rail tricks for good rail skiers are the 4 "feds" (k-fed, b-fed, ray-fed, pretz-fed) which is where you do a 180 on the rail after sliding on it a.k.a. a change-up followed by a 270 spin out of the rail, the names correlate to the directions of both the spins."
Him: "Interesting... So have you seen those crazy guys who do the street skiing?? Some of those maniacs jump off roofs!"
Me: "URBAN. Yes, I participate as well."
Him: "You're crazy, you better be safe."
Me: "Don't sweat it. I try to be reasonable. It's my favorite type of skiing because it's like the back-country for a skier in Minneapolis; a lot of prep and danger for a short but well worth payoff- and that's the attraction of it."
Him: "I never thought about it like that, my son who skis Jackson almost everyday put it like that for the touring he likes to do around there."
Basically, I expect him to know nothing about freeskiing, but it turns out that his ski-bum son has exposed him to plenty of it. So then we continue on a deep and profound conversation on the applications/implications that being a skier can have on your life- a convo which would bore all of you to tears.
milliescott
Member
5442443:Steezasaurus said:
chill winston
MichaelX99
New member
"where do you put the moguls in the summer?"
numnuts
Member
so me and my friends we do stuff like where we steal high fives from gapers and i stole a high five and at the end of the run the gaper comes up and says:
gaper: thanks for high five your really good and cool
me: uh thanks
gaper: so do you think i could learn a few things say you teach
me: um yeah sure (at this point my friends and I knew to screw around with him)
so were at the top of the mountain and the gaper says:
gaper: alright i'm ready, hey where you guys going
me: to the backside where there is the special cool park
gaper: oh ok that sounds sooo cool
so there are no lifts on the back and its great for powder days but you got to hike out and so we get to the bottom of the valley and the kid goes:
gaper: alright guys so where is it it looks like they took it out and we've all done this hike a million times so its nothing but for the kid he's nearly dead when we get to the top and so we ski through the normal park and he's too tired to do anything. Eventually we get to the bottom and he says:
gaper: where's the lodge (we were standing right in front of it)
me: behind us
gaper: that's not the lodge you cant sleep and stay there for a night
me: yeah um ok (kid hates me now and he goes to my school and i didn't know that till the next day)
gaper: thanks for high five your really good and cool
me: uh thanks
gaper: so do you think i could learn a few things say you teach
me: um yeah sure (at this point my friends and I knew to screw around with him)
so were at the top of the mountain and the gaper says:
gaper: alright i'm ready, hey where you guys going
me: to the backside where there is the special cool park
gaper: oh ok that sounds sooo cool
so there are no lifts on the back and its great for powder days but you got to hike out and so we get to the bottom of the valley and the kid goes:
gaper: alright guys so where is it it looks like they took it out and we've all done this hike a million times so its nothing but for the kid he's nearly dead when we get to the top and so we ski through the normal park and he's too tired to do anything. Eventually we get to the bottom and he says:
gaper: where's the lodge (we were standing right in front of it)
me: behind us
gaper: that's not the lodge you cant sleep and stay there for a night
me: yeah um ok (kid hates me now and he goes to my school and i didn't know that till the next day)
John18_6
Active member
12841811:WaffleMaster said:
(referring to my post about gaper dad calling cork 7 a dinner roll)
I wouldn't have known it either if it weren't for an older ski instructor who told me about Johnny Moseley 2 years before I really got into freeskiing. Looked him up on youtube and started watching related videos until I found stuff like slumdog illionaire and so far so hood.