The best gaper quotes

In the gondi with my friend to old gapers get in and one asked "wheres the pot bar?".

me: it doesnt work like that

he: thats why we came to colorado

me: -____-
 
Gaper: eeahh bud you got an extra dart on yah.

Me: sure dude

Gaper: olly fack she's a Belmont to thanks, you on those cool skis in that jump park eh

Me: yah it's good times

Gaper: I like hockey

Me: Cool man enjoy your day
 
13069913:bladebum4life said:
In the gondi with my friend to old gapers get in and one asked "wheres the pot bar?".

me: it doesnt work like that

he: thats why we came to colorado

me: -____-
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What's a gondi?
 
Arrive at the top of the park and scream that i am the best skier on the mountain

Gaper turns around and tells me to shut up and says that i am a pretentious idiot. He then says that my 4frnt skis

are shit even though I ride k2 shreditor. I just left because arguing with him was going to be pointless
 
Saw mountain photog on the lip, had to do something, grabbed tips. Image gets posted on mountain's facebook. Silly comments.

ftjmAa7
 
Not all quotes.

I was going singles because me and my friends wanted to get to the park faster. I was on with this guy who was probably about 35 or 40. For some reason he's wearing a classic flamboyant gaper suit.Maybe he thought it was cool? I don't know.He asked me if I bent my tails up myself.

A different time, I was on the lift with some little kid. Probably about 13 or 14. The lift is beside the park and I'm trying to plan my line when we see a guy do a pretty steezy switch 7 mute. The kid says "Shhhiiit that guy's good. He's probably gonna be the best one day like Thall."

My parents raised me to be a polite person and it took every fibre of my being to not contradict or outright laugh at the gaper.

Was seshing a rail with a couple of friends. It was a pretty nice flatbar but was a little high and definitely not a beginner rail. We see some gaper teenage girls, probably around 16 come up and cut us off, trying to hit the rail. Gaper girl 1 proceeds not to pop and trips over the rail and nearly double ejects. She landed in the position but only lost one ski. Gaper girl 2, still attempts the rail and ends up missing and her tails land on it. Proceeds to eat shit. I just laughed and said "Karma's a bitch gapers."

I was trying to learn Sw 27s on and was practicing on a very wide flat box for my first couple of times. It was one of those beginner boxes that are around a meter wide. So its my first attempt and obviously I eat complete shit. I can 27 on but Sw was definitely... an expierience the first few times. Anyway, I was getting the rotation alright but i lazy legged and caught the side of the box halfway through the spin or something. Anyway I got up and laughed it off. There were these gaper girls that were behind me waiting to the hit the box. They were laughing and insulting me. Girl gaper 1 proceeds to 50 50 the box, number 2 proceeds to 90 on and can't 90 out. Eats shit. Girl gaper 3 manages to 90 on and out. I skiied ahead and 27d on and off a flatbar and turned around and watched them all gape at me. True gapers right there.

Anyway these are some of my stories with gapers.
 
So I was snowboarding with my friend (I do both) and I saw this instructor with a rome hammerhead it's an urban board that has a nose and tail like a hosoi hammerhead board it's really short and has a flex of 1 and I say

"Hey nice hammerhead board"

Him: " oh thanks

Gaper friend; "why are the tips like that"

Him: "so it can float in the pow

Me: *walks away and facepalms*
 
5442613:BootySpunk. said:
lol when i bought my first pair of twin tips the store clerk showed me the T-Halls and said "these are the t-hall model, you know who he is right?" and i had no fucking idea

theres my story of being a gaper oh how far ive come
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this is actually inspirational
 
This thread is the most newschoolers thing ever: about five jokes repeated endlessly with different wording for 92 pages. Worth it for the odd gem, like that tech nerd/Seth Morrison story a while back.
 
damn some of you are harsh, gapers bug me as much as the next guy but damn cut em some slack they just trying to have as much fun as anybody else.
 
Dang, this thread is 4 years old and still going strong

I was on my way to the jump, and this ladygaper in a full 90's suit is skiing across right in front of me..

I had a decent amount of speed, so i had two choices: turn left, and straight into the woods, or keep going straight ahead.

I chose the last one.

I pretty much skied over her front tips..

SO, even though she was the one skiing straight across in front of me, not paying attention at all, she screamed after me

"WATCH OUT YOU IDIOT, YOU ALMOST KILLED ME"
 
13211277:Dope.Flavah said:
Dang, this thread is 4 years old and still going strong

I was on my way to the jump, and this ladygaper in a full 90's suit is skiing across right in front of me..

I had a decent amount of speed, so i had two choices: turn left, and straight into the woods, or keep going straight ahead.

I chose the last one.

I pretty much skied over her front tips..

SO, even though she was the one skiing straight across in front of me, not paying attention at all, she screamed after me

"WATCH OUT YOU IDIOT, YOU ALMOST KILLED ME"
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The person in front has the right of way. Unless you mean she was traversing in the park.
 
5442473:ECGove said:
gaper: i like your skis

me: thanks

gaper: is it hard to go backwards?

me: you get used to it

gaper: so are you guys allowed in the snowboard terrain park?

me: uh...yeah

gaper: when did they open it to skiers?

me: skiers could always go in it

gaper: (proceeded to tell a ten minute story about skis during the 1950's, i wont tell it here due to extreme boringness)
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In the mid 90s a lot of places were snowboard only. Nothing like having assclown ski patrol on snowmobiles chase you down to bitch at a kid for trying to get rad in the stunt ditch.

Cool starrry bra

Just figured since this thread was bumped again
 
One time I got on the lift with this kid, (he was rocking Beats headphones, and a puma hoodie) He pulls an IPAD out of his backpack and starts going through his music. He looks over at me laughing and goes "What bro, you don't like Eminem?"
 
13211394:.ttelrab. said:
One time I got on the lift with this kid, (he was rocking Beats headphones, and a puma hoodie) He pulls an IPAD out of his backpack and starts going through his music. He looks over at me laughing and goes "What bro, you don't like Eminem?"
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Kind of sounds like the man
 
12838870:john18061806 said:
"I don't understand all the hate for Shaun White, he represents snowboarding better than anybody else, anyone who hates him is dumb and a hipster." - snowboarder in neff
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then i'm a dumb hipster
 
gaper: are you good?

me: idk average for around here i guess

gaper : are you sponsered?

(when ever i get asked this question from stupid gapers i just fuck with them)

me: yea im sponsered by redbull, monster, rockstar, line, armada, atomic and saga

gaper: woah thats a lot of sponsers, do u go to x games

me: flight leaves tomorrow for xgames so i can get gold medal for the third time

gaper: can i have your autograph

me: no
 
One of my friends who claims to ski a lot and is good at it sees my boots and is like you only have 3 buckles mine have 4 mine are better (I have dalbellos). Also one of my friends who always brags about going to Colorado a few times a year said "I don't get powder why would any one want to ski in that".
 
12886008:Meeds said:
not really a gaper, just an old dude who skis like 100 days a season for the past 50 years told me on a powder day that "wide skis are for pussies"
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He was calling you out
 
Listened to some guy rave about insanely steep lines he snowboarded in AK. I then watched him faceplant trying to get on the lift.
 
13211744:carter-gibbons said:
gaper: are you good?

me: idk average for around here i guess

gaper : are you sponsered?

(when ever i get asked this question from stupid gapers i just fuck with them)

me: yea im sponsered by redbull, monster, rockstar, line, armada, atomic and saga

gaper: woah thats a lot of sponsers, do u go to x games

me: flight leaves tomorrow for xgames so i can get gold medal for the third time

gaper: can i have your autograph

me: no
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You stole my icon you fuck
 
I've heard all of this before: "Can you do backflips?" . "why are you in the terrain park? It's only for snowboarders". "Can you do somersaults?" and my personal favorite: "Can you do helicopters?"

also: A kid at my school started talking to me about how he was so Into "trick skiing". I asked him to name one pro slopestyle skier and he said: "no I'm talking about trick skiing."

I said that's what "trick skiing" is (other than pipe etc.). Then he said "Oh I know a bunch." I said name one and he said "tony hawk right?"
 
5442443:Steezasaurus said:
gaper: are those tricky skis?

me: yes

gaper: so you can like do tricks and stuff?

me:...yes

gaper: so you can like do grinds and helicopter spins??

me:...........sure

gaper: so are you like spansorized and are in like the xgames with shaun white???

me:....no

gaper:....can you do a backflip??

me: no! you fucking gaper, why the fuck do you and all other peopl like you with your fuckin skiblades come in a park and proceed to create a cluster fuck of bitches and destroy all of our lips and jumps by going 3 miles over it and just going down it and cutting people off and make complete assholes of yourself. god fuckin dammit! alot of people can do backflips and do "helicopters" and grind, you along with the rest of your gaper parasite need to just d=stay out of the park and make everyone happy. fuck!

gaper: ( some high school rich kid) proceeds to get teary eyed
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yess helicopter spins. I was wondering if anyone else had heard that before
 
Fat kid in a tall tee talking to Andy Parry at a Tell A friend tour meetup," yo what kind of gloves do you wear????" ...........

"Wait do they sell them here?????"
 
13603250:PNayr said:
Fat kid in a tall tee talking to Andy Parry at a Tell A friend tour meetup," yo what kind of gloves do you wear????" ...........

"Wait do they sell them here?????"
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you sound pretty cool man, the big homie just wanted to have toasty hands
 
13603184:tris10radeka said:
yess helicopter spins. I was wondering if anyone else had heard that before
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Sometimes I just call it a helicopter. There was a when time every kid wanted to be able to do a helicopter. Still a rad trick IMO.
 
Night skiing, pretty much the last people on the hill, my brother and I were standing at the top of the 50' vert bunnyhill when a snowboarder wearing a one peice snow suit walks up carrying his board and politely ask's if theres an easier way down.

The lodge was literally a straight run down 500 feet away.

Like I honestly thought he was kidding because there was literally no other way in sight.

Also one time I was chatting to this friendly guy on the lift, and at one point he asked how much season passes were, saying how he had been up 16 days that season buying day passes each time, which is easily double the amount of two season passes at my hill lmao.
 
13211394:ttelrab said:
One time I got on the lift with this kid, (he was rocking Beats headphones, and a puma hoodie) He pulls an IPAD out of his backpack and starts going through his music. He looks over at me laughing and goes "What bro, you don't like Eminem?"
Click to expand...

this one's my favorite
 
Kid with 2016 twall full tilts: Do you follow Newschoolers on Instagram?

me: yeah do you have a ns account?

Kid: yeah I'm following their account on insta

me: ummm ok
 
My grandma asked to see my skis. I had line after bangs at the time, and she picked them up looked at them,

"Why are the ends bent up? Did you do that?"

"No grandma, they are called twin tips, so you can ski switch.. Uh, backwards."

"How do they do that!? Do they glue two skis together in the middle!?"

I have never laughed so hard
 
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