The best gaper quotes

"It's way easier to walk down the stairs backwards guys"

I'm sure it's already been said in 1 of 90 pages of this thread but we've all seen it a million times & it never fails to make me laugh.

 
A year ago I asked this dude with a Level 1 sticker if he was with Level 1 after he did like a rodeo 5.

At a small mountain in Wisconsin.

Immediately realized my fucking uppage.
 
haha, about 5 years or so ago, someone asked me if I skied for level 1 since i had a level 1 sticker on my helmet. This was in north carolina, and then, I could only do 5s, so it wasnt like i was any good.
 
"Look mom his skis are glowing!" I don't even know how many times people have said the bottoms of my skis are glowing
 
"I just got the one strap bindings for my snowboard, they are soooooo nice." & "Are you gonna ski some black diamonds today?"
 
I was being followed by this mega gaper today, he'd chat me up at the top of each run, I wasn't annoyed at all and some of the things he said were precious:

He had race skis on and said "my dad bought me the wrong pair of skis, what kind of skis should I get? I'm thinking about twin tippers"

The brake on my ski got bent back really badly from landing switch and I had to walk down the hill, I even did a little boot skiing.... He said "Woah! I didn't know you could ski on boots, I thought only pros could to that! You're really good."

Then he followed that up with

"What happened to your ski?"

Me: "The brake broke."

"Are you going to get new skis?"

Me: (bend the brake back into place)
 
Talking to a friends friend, he found out I skied and he goes "So, are you a black diamond skier?"...I was just kinda like "Uhm, what do you mean?"

"You know, ski black diamonds?"

"Ohh *weird fake laugh* yeah, I can"

Him "That's cool! I can ski backwards!"

I just laugh, and he goes "No really, I can!" thinking that I thought skiers couldn't ski backwards?

and I just responded, "Yeah, I know.. I believe you, most people can"

This continues to go on for a while, but yeah... funny stuff
 
*waiting on the lift line with my line chronics

Gaper:"I like your skis.... they're really orange..."

Me:*ignores him*

Gaper dad: "Huh you betcha'!those are some darn orange skis!!!!"

Gaper mom: "Hey, are those some special glow in the dark skis? Can they do something cool?"

Me:* sighs and finally gets on lift*
 
"my calves hurt from these stupid boots, and there even three sizes too big"

"let me cover up your forehead so it docent get cold"

little girl wearing motorcycle helmet " dad i cant lift my head anymore"

 


On the chairlift with random gaper, we didn't speak till about 3 minutes up the lift. He pointed to my hands and commented, " Why are you skiing without poles? Is that so you can smoke weed?"

 
Dude wearing glasses asked what kind of eye sheild I had (referring to goggles)

Reporter on tv at some resort trying to explain what a ski lift does (clearly had never been to a mountain)
 
"I don't understand all the hate for Shaun White, he represents snowboarding better than anybody else, anyone who hates him is dumb and a hipster." - snowboarder in neff
 
Riding a chair, saw a cork 7 blunt and this gaper dad I was riding with said "busting out the Dinner roll!" I gave him a high five for getting the trick name right, despite it being old terminology. Guess he wasn't so gaper after all.
 
went skiing with a friend from school.I'm skiing switch pretty fast, then my edge catches and i go down HARD.

Slide down the hill, roll over and ride away in a little pain.

kids says "I was going to snow you, but you got up. That's what you do right? snow people when they fall down?"

I give him a 3 minute lecture on the chairlift about how that is wrong.
 
I did some instructing last year and I like to ski switch while teaching so I can watch my class. One of the moms asked me if my twin tips where "special teaching skis for skiing backwards."
 
I quote the famous NBC: It's a trick that parents around the world might have to warn their children not to try and copy.
 
Ski instructor (young, probably 16) comes in and buys Ramp Corks (lol) and then is looking at bindings. He's looking at the Griffons and he asks me "Why is there a spring in there??" referring to the heel piece because it is visible.

Some dude came in today bitching because there was a rip in his new Patagonia pants. The rip is clearly from either an edge or a tree or something. He's talking to the managers say that "I paid $300 for these pants they should be indestructible" etc etc. It was a tiny slice, like an inch long. Some people...
 
I was skiing today, an old guy on straight skis and sunglasses points at my rocker2's and says "son, I think your skis are bent, maybe you should take them into the shop and get them straightened out... Follow me if you don't know the way!"
 
Walked into the chalet tonight and heard this dialogue between a Mother and Son.

Son: "Mom can I do snowboarding?"

Mother: "When you're a teenager you can do snowboarding."

I was laughing my ass off for a solid 3 minutes, then, I got this deep sinking feeling inside of me and started to quiver.
 
Gaper on rental directional skis, brags about how he skis park. I ask what he can do. He replies "I like to hit jumps that are to the side of slide rails."
 
Holy shit it was like a blast from the past yeasterday. I was going up the lift right underneath our park, with a dad and his like 8yr old daughter. She was asking him if they could go in the park, and the dad replies "oh no honey, I don't think they let skiers in those things"
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top