The best gaper quotes

it does happen... but at my mountain bar down is only mandatory for small children and children in lessons. otherwise you can choose.
 
goin through the little on the way to the big hitting up little rails 2 inches off the ground

Gaper: WOAH DUDE HOW DID U DO THAT U...LIK GRINDED I THOUGHT U COULD ONLY DO THAT SNOWBOARDING. I AM STILL LEARNING TO GO OFF THE JUMP.
 
just kinda more comfortable..you can sit in diff position..can move around more..kinda a personal preference though..but on windy days..i definately put it down.
 
"aw yea i was like hiking over there, and me and my brother had to hit this like 20 foot cliff!...well actually it was like 2 10 foot cliffs..."
 
This guy on the lift yesterday hops on the lift, and honestly only like 1 second after sitting down (keep in mind we havent even left the "base" of the left yet) and yells "BAR DOWN!" and proceeds to slam the fucking bar down as hard as he could without even looking to see if anyone was in the way. Conveniently i was, and it hit me right on the back of my neck. Sweet.
 
If you really bother brushing snow off of your skis, you deserve to be nailed with the bar.

I've been leaning over unbuckling my boots and had the bar put down on my back, almost knocking me off of the lift. Of course it was some fucking gaper dicknose at PC. Fuck bars, if you're dumb enough to fall off of a lift, then you deserve whatever happens to you.
 
funny one today from school:
While sitting in home room today.kid 1- "you ski right?"Me- "yea i do."kid 1- "well....CAN YOU SKI CROSS LEGGED???"Me- "I've never felt the urge to try that, so i guess not..."kid 1- "HA!. Well then bobby (kid 2) is better than you!"*kid 2 proceeds to talk about how he accidentally got some air off of the lip of a little flat rail.*
Me- "You didn't hit the rail?"kid 2- "No you get way more hang time if you jump off right before you get to the railing."

after this happened i instantly thought of this thread.
 
Just saying... it wasn't like we had jeans tucked into half-buckled rental boots and a $20 nylon shell on. It wasn't exactly a huge challenge to tell that we weren't giant gapers that genuinely couldn't work out which way our skis on.
 
Fat Gaper in my school: I have the best pow skis ever they rip it up so hard!

Me: what are they?

Fat Gaper: Volkl Race Tigers! They make such nice turns!

Me: yeah I'm sure, (jokingly) are they center mounted!?!!

Fat Gaper: what does that mean?

Me: Are you skis mounted in dead center?

Fat Gaper: Of course! Every ski is, where else would they be mounted.

Me: Oh, bye.
 
the gapers on my mountain are so entertaining. i saw the funniest thing happen today.
scenario: guy with a baseball cap skis in to park with his wannabe gaper son with no helmet. the son hits this midget box and faceplants. he gets up quick, and skis over to the end of this down flat rail so he can let his dad have his turn on the box.
son says''I bet u dont dare dad!''. so, in response to this, dad says ''u wanna see me ski on that bent rail there (the down flat)?''.so sure enough, he goes for it. the kid is still at the end of the down flat.
he hits it straight, gets threw the down part, and then goes flying forward once he hits the flat. the son, standing right there, gets hit by his dads skis in the back and face. kid severy injured to the head thanks to his dads gaperness AND thanks to that, the rails were closed for the rest of the day.
 
We have a point pass system at my resort, you purchase 100 points at a time an and you're riding on the chairlift takes points (all on scanners) 15 points for the most popular lift 10 for less popular ect ect.

Some gaper came up the the ticket window and said "so it takes 10 points to get up lift #5 right?"

Ticket window lady "yeah"

Gaper "then, how much does it cost to come back down?"
 
Yesterday i got on the lift from the singles line with a guy that was on some wicked old kastle straight skis. As we were loading on to the lift, his ski came off, and he proceeded to freak out. the liftie tried to put it back on his foot for him, and the guy was grumbling at him for supposedly doing it wrong. I then noticed that his boot was about 2 cm smaller than the bindings were set for, and told him that there was no way it was going to work. he muttered something at me, like it was my fault, and walked away.
Same day, same thing; got on from the singles line with these two like 9 year olds, one of whom was telling the other that he finally got his friend to ski with goggles, because he didnt want his eyes to dry up and fall out while skiing.
 
Don't forget the one from today:

"Is there a competition going on here or something?" At the bottom of the pipe and slope course at Dew Tour.
 
Two gaper snowboarders on my bus on the way up to the hill.
Gaper #1 "Dude, we gotta go hit up the training park today"
Gaper #2 "Yea, I just got a helmet, my mom got me one after I sprained my wrist last week, it'll help"
Gaper #1 " I gotta get a helmet, I don't wanna sprain my wrist"

All the while me and my snowboarding friend are trying sooo hard no to laugh.
 
not that funny but i get this a lot

my aunt- so you ski right?

me- yeah

my aunt- do you ever go in that place with the snow ramps and such?

me- um, yeah

my aunt- so you snowboard?

me- no, i ski

my aunt- so you switch to a snowboard when you go on the ramps?

me- no, i ski in the park

my aunt- oh...
 
All of my family and parents friends think that I snowboard because I hit jumps, or they think I ride "trick skis." I showed them a gopro video of me skiing in my yard, and they all freaked out when I hit a rail, calling me crazy, then I 180'd a two foot quarter pipe and they thought I was amazing. And everyone, even park skiers, ask me why I have two different boots on, and then to proceed to ask if I ordered two different boots just so they'd look like that.
 
at my mountain, like at all mountain there is no end of retard parents trying to "teach" their children how to ski by putting them in between their legs or putting them on a leash (the bane of my existence.) however me and my coworkers have witnessed the following, the golden wheelchairs of mount seymour, shall we call them...-a man trying to teach his wife how to ski by having her ski in between his legs like a small child-a guy carrying a baby under his arm while he skied down the mountain-a man teaching his son how to ski by holding a pole between his son's legs and skiing behind him, basically giving him a pole wedgie all the way down the bunny hill. as a man you would think he would know not to do this?
 
not a quote, but yesterday i saw a man carrying one kid in one arm, and guiding the other kid between his legs while going down a green. and i saw a snowboarder in jeans and a hoodie, no goggles, crash 3 times going down a 30 foot catwalk
 
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