The best gaper quotes

the other day i just got on the chair single and some kid around the same age of me asked my if i was pro, i lol'd pretty hard
 
My friend and I were standing in the lift line and the guy behind us( a fat snowboarder) taps us on the back.

him: hey guys, hows the trick hill today? us: you mean the park? him: ya, the trick hill. us: oh, its pretty good. him: oh, so the rails are nice and slppery? us: sure.

we saw him later in the day from the chairlift hitting a rail in the park, he slipped off after 2 feet and hit his stomach on the rail.

 
Gaper: armada huh? i have twin tipers to but i cant seem to go backwards...

Me: Ummm sweet (wtf am i supposed to say to that haha)
 
my gaper friend asked me if i was skiing the next day, it was thursday. I said yeah, are you gonnna watch the big air comp on saturday? he said " no are you in it?" i was like no im filming and i said a few of my friends are in it. he proceeded to ask me if they were going to do mike wallisch shit. i thought he was joking. he wasnt. i laughed and was like "mike hornbeck?or tom wallisch?" he was like i dunno." i was confused"

he went sking that friday with us and bet me 5 bucks i couldnt do the easiest green switch. i won 5 bucks hehe
 
I pointed my skis down the mountain and skied. I learned what not to do by falling. I was an ice skater and snowboarded for many years so I just taught myself parallel skiing.and using a leash or putting the child between an adult's skis (with the adult going forward) is the worst way to introduce a child to skiing. they learn nothing about control, balance, independence or proper turn shapeso yeah they are gapers. it's fine if you want to teach your child to ski, but that^ isn't teaching.
 
hahaha putting your child between your legs is perfectly fine unless your training them to be picaboo street by the time they're 7. They're just showing their kids a good time on the mountain and it is in no way gaper of them. give them a break
 
I disagree, once they can stop and turn using a pizza theres no reason to use any restraining device. until then, you ski backwards in front of them or use an edgie wedgie, which takes 1 to 3 1-hour sessions for most kids. trust me they have a lot more fun that way.
 
Me and my friends were going down an easy run to get to a lodge and I buttered a little 3 then went switch for awhile and all these old gaper chicks started clapping and shit.
 
I was sitting on the lift one chair ahead of two 13 year old snowboarders, and as we pass the jump line, they yell to some guy at the top "THE SPEED IS STRAIGHT IN, BOMB ASS OR YOU WON'T MAKE IT," when the speed is really 2-3 big scrubby turns. at first i thought they were kidding, but then the guy drops, tucking in to this jump whlie I'm yelling at him to slow down. Overshoots about 30 feet past the knuckle, and completely explodes, at which point I look back and the two snowboarders are high-fiving and cheering. the kid had to be taken down by patrol.
 
she's totally right! the worst is, when they go through the park with their kids between the legs...
 
i was going up the lift with some gaper girls (12-13 yrs)and there bragging to eachother how they went down a double black diamond (the terrain park) and how it was so much esier then they thought. then thier friend says that its only a double black diamond if u do the "slides" and the "tricks" (refering to the rails and jumps). then the other girls are like "ok so if we go on the big flat slide, then we did a double black diamond?" so they go to the long wide box and eat shit because they fell off early (going straight) and started going switch until their tails dug in.

WOW that s looonnnggggg
 
im not a jibber, i ski more back country and i raced when i was younger. we were going up the hill at my home mountain and a kid in the chair behind us start yelling that we fags and that he wanted to race us. this kid is skiing on line invaders, no poles, those aweful, non-waterproof snowpants, and a big as jibber jacket. tool. were like, okay well race you, but you will lose, and there is nothing you can do about it. i am a damn good skier, kid. as we skate away off the start, leaving them behind immediately, i heard this kid yell at us to "stop at the rail, i need to sit down!" heres to all the jibbers who actually hit features and can do tricks, not just look at them.
 
surface-skullcandy-no-time-skis-2011.jpg
 
yesterday i was headin up one of the more gaper - frequent lifts at my mountain and on the way up we see someone being taken down in a toboggan to first aid and the gaper kid sitting next to me tells his dad that "it looks like alot of fun"
 
ive had kids ask me if i attached tow skis toghether and when i say no they dont believe me

also ive had kids scrape the snow off my skis and ask if theres any thig but knives on them

and of couarse ive been told by gapers that ur not allowed to ski in the "snowboarding" park
 
so my teacher looks at the kid next to me lookin at the shifty/tap homepage photo on newschoolers.
"what is he doing? is he snowboarding on skis?"
 
I'm with 2 other people, me being on CRJ's, one other person on Volkl Walls, and a girl on k2 missdemeaners. Guy taps my shoulder in the lift line at ABasin:

Guy: "I see your skis are all the same. What is the point of that?"

Me: "What?"

Guy: "Your skis, what is the point of them?

Me: "Well.... mine are for powder I guess?

Guy: "So, you're saying they're specifically designed for skiing powder and that's it?

Me: "Basically, yeah"

Guy: "I noticed how soft your skis are when you were bending the front of your skis. What's the point of that?"

Me: "for fun?"

I kinda just ignored him after that.
 
Watching X-games big air, my dad says, "Those guys are pretty young, look they don't even have their beards yet."

Not really a gaper quote yeah.
 
Lol okay so at Granite Peak this weekend me and my friends were near the bunny hill and under the lift so there were tons of gapers riding it. 3 times in like a row all these old dudes were yelling at me saying stuff like, "Hey a helmet cam!" and I'd look up and they'd wave at the GoPro and smile and try to be all cool.... Man they love those things.
 
the following conversation is between my uncle (hasnt skied in a few decades...) and I:

uncle-So what do you do when skiing?

me- I freestyle ski

uncle- like with the bumps?
 
at the drop in for a jump line i said to my friend, "i think ill just do a floaty switch 1" a near by gaper asked "whats switch?" as i dropped in i said "backwards." gaper: "waaaaa?!"
 
Walking into school today "did you see Torston Hurgma's triple cork?" I pulled up the video on his phone and asked him how it was not triple backflip. he just said that that was what the announcers said...

Someone tried to tell me that Superpipe was the snowboard event, and Halfpipe was the skier event.
 
lolwut. I still can't believe they called that a trip cork, obv frontside trip rodeo 12, basically what bobby brown or sammy did (dunno if torstein's was switch)
 
how about EVERY SINGLE thing that comes out of gapers mouths when they see my skis... no they're not water skis no i didn't break them haha i ski at alta and i have one lifes
 
Gaper: Why do you have skis on? You look like a snowboarder.Me: No i just think having baggy clothes looks better and is more comfortable.Gaper: Are one of dem park rats?Me: Nah i really just ski everything, but i do like park quite a bit.Gaper: Whoa! Does that mean you can do a backflip!!!! no response....
 
So I was at my local shitty mountain and they had one really small park open (being early season on the east coast.) I see a jibber who is filming. The rig he was using was an old camcorder mounted on a piece of wood with a counterweight on the bottom to stabilize. Some 40 year old guy goes up to him and asks if its a GoPro. The kid just laughed and skied away.
 
I'm skiing a pair of Surface Onelife's. They have a ton of rocker.
gaper: dude your skis are broken, did you have to pay full price for those broken skis?Me: they arent brokengaper: yea they are look!Me: dude they are just way too cool for your mind to comprehend, they have gnarly rockergaper: soo did you have to pay full price for them?Me: ...

 
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