Most embarrasing thing you have ever said to you parents

so one night i was getting picked up from my friends house and my mom and his mom start talking. They start talking about how my teacher is talking shit about us to other parents. So my friends mom brings up a story and said " Well apparently our boys were having a conversation and daniel asked his brother what something we were talking about was and daniels brother told his mom, and now his mom doesnt want him hanging out with our children." so my mom asks what they were talking about, at this point im getting ready for it. my friends mom goes," Masturbation " and my dad goes " O God" and my mom is silent. then we had a nice awkward drive home.
 
i was riding the 6 chair at jiminy with my dad and other random people and we were talking about how they ruined the mountain with all the development and condos and rich bitches from nyc. so i added something like "i wish they would keep the condoms in the city where they belong."
 
ditto... not as much with my mom... but when I'm watching a movie with my dad it's way weird... also when my mom starts talking about safe sex. "you should use a condom... and both partners should be tested for STDs." I know already, you don't need to tell me!
 
god i love this thread. the one about "your mom is a screamer" is prolly one of the funnier ones thou. haha, id die.
 
When I played soccer in kindergarten some kid told me to "get off the fuckin' field" and when I got home I asked my mom what fuck meant.
 
No more embarrasing or akward moments anymore, but used to have some.

About 7-8 years ago we were smoking the bong at a friends place and after a while ended up with an empty bag, so I call a friend who was at a party so he couldn't bring it over, I figure, ok let's call my father to drive me over their and then someone for sure will drive me back, he wouldn't... plan B, I call another friend who lived nearby and asked him to bring some over. After the call I wanted to have some more so I text-message the guy to bring 5 more partyjoints (well it's called different in dutch) and accidently send the message to my dad. Like one second later he calls me:

he: "Ken, what the hell are you asking me? So you wanted me to drive around for your shit?"

me: "uhm no it's a joke... ha-ha"

actually never got into trouble with that but damn I was scared when I got home the next day!

Even earlier when I was 12-13 or so, I got home as high as you can be a little punk.

Mother: hmmm you smell good!

me: yes i know, it's weed

mother: WHAT??!

me: ah don't worry, I don't smoke that, but all the rest was doing it so that's why my clothes smell like it

When I just got 18 my gf was only 15, so my mother chose the worst moment ever to give me a talk about responsibilties, we just started the xmas holiday and was totally wasted on wodka.

she: well Ken, you've got to understand that your gf is still very young, and it's illegal to...

me (interupting her): all very nice, but you're a bit late with that.

another one with the gf from above, she was at my place and we where lying on the couch covered with a blanket, touching eachother, some messing around with me parents sitting just 12 feet away, but we didn't care. Next day I'm in the car with my dad and out of nothing he goes: "I do expect you to keep it a bit more desent next time your gf is coming over"

preeeety akward haha

funny one, when I was about 16 or so my mom wanted to explain me some things about sex over dinner... I'm looking at my dad like WTF? so he goes: "I don't think this is neccesary, he probably knows more about it then us"
 
i was talking to my parents about things they sucked at and then they told me to look at my life :|

nothing i could say to that i phail at life.... and spelling
 
well I have adhd, and my mom was asking me for my health card and I didn't know where it was and she said "Liam I need you to concentrate" which pissed me off because I'm not a god damn sped if i cant find, it I can't find it. So I replied "stop talking to me like I'm a fucking idiot" and then they got angry because there up tight.
 
Dude I had that same thing happen. I was watching some show that I would be embarrased if my mom saw me watching that so I flipped the channel and it was girls gone wild. I was like oh shit
 
Haha, that shit happened to me all the time... I always watched TV pretty late, usually Comedy Central, and after 11 they start throwing Girls Gone Wild commercials at you like crazy. My mom came down once and saw it and said "So is this what you watch after we go to bed?" Sigh...
 
The worst was when i was in 6th grade and my dad looked on the history of the computer and found a whole bunch of porn sites and asked me about them, i said my hormones were changing or something like that
 
not me but, when i was near the age or 5, my neighbour had ADHD to the max, like put him on a bike and he would peddle forever, and run around the neighbourhood turning on all the water taps. any ways, one morning, he somehow gets on the roof, and his dad was on the groundand was like "Patty, come down now!" remember, this is at 9 in the morning. and my lil friend patty says" FUCK YOU DAD!", and his dad go sooo mad, and went "Patty, come down now!", and lil patty said, "FUCK YOU DAD!", anyways, it went on for like 45 min. this kid was 5 years old and i was 5 too, so i just chilled and remembered him doing stupid shit like that. good times.
 
Felt my 1000th post should be in my favorite thread on NS, so here it is. Might as well make this a decent post, so as I don't have any stories of my own I'll tell one I heard from a friend of mine a few weeks ago...

He was having a party at his house and his parents came home early and kicked everyone out. He was in his room with a girl, so he wasn't with the rest of the kids and his parents couldn't find him. So his bed faced the door, and he was going at it from behind so he's facing the entrance directly. His dad finally walks in, they make eye contact, his dad claps his hands a few times and closes the door. Never did get the aftermath.
 
i was talking to my parents joking around and for some reason- i dont even remember what it was about- i said haha you guys are too old for that and my mom looks at me with a serious face and says "and you are too young to masturbate"
 
in 9th grade i was super drunk and for sum reason i decided i wanted to go home and my mom picks me and and the first thing i say is "im reallllly drunk"

or

when i got my finger closed in the car door and i screamed "NIGGGGGGERRRR!!!!!!!"
 
ive never had any super embarrassing moments with my parents but i always make fun of my mom and tell her that she is in her midlife crisis and when she buys new stuff i always say that she is just trying to look rich and she get pissed as fuck at me
 
so probably when i was about 12 i went to get a physical at my doctors. my normal doctor wasnt there, and i had a girl doctor who was pretty cute too like 25-28. anyways she tells me to pull down my pants and im like oh shit this cant be good. so i do and she is feeling my balls forever and all im thinking is please dont get a boner well at like the last second i started popping one and she was like okay your done and i was th inking FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK I JUST GOT A BONER!!!! damn that was embarassing as shit.
 
one of my frieds was gettin a blowjob and his mom walked in and he jizzed in his gf's mouth right as she entered

LOCK YOUR DOOR
 
"mom, i only drank water. give me a drunk test."

that was just a few days ago too. first time getting caught. my dad thought it was funny buy my mom is pissed.
 
just kidding. i wouldnt do that to my dad he's too much of an OG.

that was abour your Dad. ill kick him right in his old head.
 
yeah, I dunno if this counts. but my mom asked if I was out drinking the night before and I said, no....why? then she said, oh, well you parked on the lawn again.
 
A buddy of mine came home abliterated after a party, and ends up pissin the bed that night. The next morning he wakes up to a nice half hour lecture from his mother. Hes still drunk so hes just sittin there barely awake, so when shes dont the only thing he says is "Oh yeah ma, go clean my sheets i pissed the bed." she was fucking heated haha
 
ok so, this isnt anything that i SAID, but...just listen.

so my friend and i were at a bar the other day and they had this vending machine thing in the bathroom that said "50 cents! gets you 1 of 12 sexy items!"

we're like, "lets do it!"

so i put in 50 cents and got this little box with a condom inside and on the box is this picture of a man in a speedo with a bow tie. and it says stuff all over it like...

you can bank on this guy! get more bang for your buck! a condom comes in this box, what what cums in yours?!

and i left it on the kitchen table cause they were out of town, but i forgot about it, and i spent the night somewhere else on saturday and they got back from the airport at 6:45 on easter morning........
 
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