Most embarrasing thing you have ever said to you parents

we were sitting in class and we had this new teacher who was only 21(she finshed collegge at 20) we hadn't seen her yet and my friend started hitting on her and asked what grade she was in- she fliiped shit and said u think its funny because i a passed collegge early and my bro was like what r u talking about- gave him 3 detentions first day of class but he talked his way out of it
 
haha, I was at dinner with a few of my parents friends maybe 5-6 when I was like 10 -11 ish, they were talking about people in offices with thoses clear keybaord things that are like floppy plastic and they were just deating about the topic and I just blurted in and I said "Maybe there boss might think they're slacking off".. but with a mouth full of food it sounded like "jacking off" and ya.. kind of a wierd silence after I realized what I said.. then on the car ride home no one said anything for like15 mins then randomly my dad was like " how do you know wahyt "jacking off is" and I had to explain the misunderstanding.

 
not my parents but i was getting with my friends sister and i slept over at my friends house. everyone was asleep and me and my friends sister were laying together and my hand was on her boob and her dad walked downstairs and was like "kaitlin, what are you doing?" in a extremelly pissed off tone(kaitlin=her name). one of the most akward moments with an adult ever.
 
"Why is a whole bunch of coronas missing?"

"i was gonna smash them"

We found a condom in your closet What were you gonna do with that? Break it too?
 
My friends brother came home from college at like 2am and he was showing us this chick that apparently he knows that looks like a pornstar and there house is huge but i said type in this chicks name and my friend said" YEAH HE THINKS SHE LOOKS LIKE MOM" and then his mom from the bottom of the stairs goes WHAT?Barrett
 
After my best friend informed me when I was like 6 or 7 of what sex was, I said to my mom in the exact same words:

"Sex is when a man sticks his penis in a woman's vagina." Not so much embarrassing since it was my mom and I barely remember...just one of those stories.
 
we have this hella good burger place in seattle called dicks...

so i am going to this concert and on my way out the door my mom sasy plz dont put anything in your body that is bad tonight plzzzzzzzzzz!

and i say dont worry mom, the only thing going in my body tonight is dicks

 
i wuz like 2 in vegas, i wuz eating dinner and was counting on my fingers, i counted One with my middle one and right then a waitress walked by, i pretty much flipped her, thats it
 
I would randomly replace the end of a word with "izzle" in front of my parents. For example: book=bizzle, check=chizzle. So one time I got to say, "Let's peace out of this joint" and when i put the "izzle" on the end of it, this is what i ended up saying: "Let's peace out of this JIZZLE". It was amusing.
 
the other day my mom picked me and my friend up from fishing and swimming. i was still blazed. anyways i go into a lot of detail in random ass stories and then my mom tries to change the subject. she starts to tell me about my neighbor who has been at the hospital, we just found out. she tells me that he got punched in the face and broke his cheek bone and has a detached retina. i ask a bunch of questions to get it straight. then i say,"o i see, so this kid was walking his dog with his parents and someone ran up and punched him in the face." hahahah that was so fuckin awkward. it got real quiet and i looked back at my friend, who was like what the hell? and my mom was really confused and suspiciuous.
 
i had actually forgetten about this until this thread got me thinking. when i was 15 or so i was riding back from vail with two friends and one's parent's. well i was sitting bitch and i fell asleep. apparently i was sleeping on my friend or something so he pushed to get me off of him. well still in my dream i think i said something like "your ass is so nice...etc" or something along those lines. then everyone started laughing and it woke me up. they were all looking at me and i had no idea why. later i found out what happened.
 
oh yeah, another thing that still haunts my years was when i was 6 or 7 and my new step-dad went ino the store to get some groceries and left me and my younger brother in the car. my brother was sleeping and i had a huge chubby. i was in amazement on what was going on in my pants so i was stting there looking at my hard dick and my step dad walks up right next to my window. i look up and he's just swtarring at me looking at my dick. he's never mentioned anything to me, but i always wondering if he remembers that day, i mean it was 15 years ago.
 
this one time my dad picked me and this kid^^^ up from the movies and we were torched and just chilling listening to music and shit in the car and he starts to tell my dad a bunch of random stories about bands and shit and in the midlle of the story he stops and says "fuck this shit, i have no idea what im saying right now". there was a good 3 minutes of silence following that.

another time i was chilin in my basement wwith this other kid and it was like 3 in the morning and i had just bought a new piece that day so i was checking it out. i thought my parents wer asleep upstairs but it turns out my dad came down and there i was sitting on the couch with my piece and a bag of weed on my lap. i didn't know he was there at first until i looked at my buddy who was white as a sheet. he said later that my dad didn't see it because of this stealth move i pulled but i dont believe it because my dad was standing 5 feet away for a good 20 seconds. he never said anything about it but it was still kind of akward
 
i always get that in msn convosations, and if i minimise the page she thinks im doing bad stuff and gets all protective
 
when we were about 13 my mate and I were just chillin at home watching american pie.. it gets to one of the parts where theres a bit of brestage and dad walks in, looks at the tv and is like 'oh looks like I got here in time for the good part' we just kinda sat and stared at the tv until he left then cracked up
 
my dads really cool about sex and stuff like that. so we were sitting in line at a restraunt and he just goes, u havent benn getting any lately have you? and i was just like omg cause my mom was there and we were surrounded by other people. and then he says, its cool, just wait till college, the girls there are easy
 
probly when i asked my dad what an erection is.

oh one time i asked my mom what masturbation was when i was like 10 and she said its having sex with yourself. and when i was like 6 we were watching tv and 2 people started kissing and i said "look mommy they are sexing each other"
 
i didnt think anyone was in the kitchen so i strolled in singin "hot carl a hot carl" to the tune of "im hot blooded im hot blooded" and now apparently im a perv ha
 
okay so not really me or my parents but it was still mad embarrassing. my buddy (shane), me, my friend (sam) and her friend (linsey) all go to a movie at 10, we forgot you have to be 18 i told the lady i was 18 and she believed me i go in and they card me. i dont even have a license so i was like fuck that. got a refund, and we walked to denny's and ate and stuff. i was kinda with sam and linseys mom came to pick us up. me and sam sit in the back and are making out and stuff cause its a van and linseys mom doesnt notice. she drops off shane and so its just me sam and linsey. conversation ensues:

mom: hey you two quit fucking in my backseat!!! i dont need "stains" all over it!

linsey: mom shut the fuck up!!

mom: sam, i knew you were a whore but come on, in my backseat!!

sam: hey leslie i think your the whore

mom: haha linsey is probably more of a slut than you

linsey: *punches her mom in the face* while shes driving and says fuck you bitch

mom: okay shawn see ya later!

*i straight book it outta that van, i was like holyyyy shittt* then said thanks

i have never met her mom in my life, and i am seriously so scared of her as of now. i was so embarassed, and i had no reason to be.
 
ok so this is with my friend's parents but whatever

ok so there were 4 of us and we were wicked baked and watching knocked up. my friend's dad comes out of the other room right at the part where theyre smoking and making smoke rings. he leaves and comes back later, right at the sex scene. then he says

"you guys are high, now are you all gonna get some action?"

i was like wtf how did he tell. but w/e hes wicked cool and he doesnt care
 
one time, i showed up at church, kinda blazed, and my dad who is the pastor of this church says- good morning Ben, how are you?

"stoned, i mean good- ah fuck", i dont know why, but he never said anything about it later

 
Once we were sitting down after dinner with my parents and there friends who happen to be my godparents and my dad(no hes not a racist at least i dont think so) asked my godfather why theres so many black people in Johnstown and i hearing this not thinking I replied well its obvious it makes up part of the name, John as in Johnson which is a therm for black peoples enormous dicks. I was a little high at the moment.
 
i was at a cottage a couple weeks ago and we were with a bunch of friends in a separate "house" or cabin from the main cottage and it did have a lock but my buddy left to grab a beer and the door was unlocked, we were rolling a joint AND one of the girls parents walks in and start shouting "inspection" ( they were drunk too lol) than another one i jump up and start flashing my flash light at their eyes like an idiot my friend like flciked the joint under the chair he was sitting on soooo close THAN IT HAPPNEED IT AGAIN STILL ROLLING THE SAME JOINT WE THOUGHT WE LEARNED ARE LESSON BUT NOOOO LOL 2 close calls...
 
gotta bring this back

couple weeks ago, my friends and i were in this kids barn upstairs and we had the whole shebang out, bong couple pieces and a baggie, and his dad walks up, soo were all like fuck this were done. The kids son, just picks up the bong salutes his dad and says "you didnt see this" his dad turns around and walks back downstairs and into the house. The next day i had my mom pick me up at like 8 and didnt come close to going anywhere near that guy, but apparently my friend didnt even get in much trouble at all
 
almost the exact same thing happened to me, except he was with his girlfriend (my parents are split up) and she just like was shocked for a minute, then she started cracking up
 
I come down stairs after hitting a pipe just once and my mom is like, right there. So she asks me something and i respond, and shes like hm have you been smoking? I say no, that its incense. She smiles and says okay. I leave the room, she then says that she would like to see the incense that i so smell liike, and then she asks if there really wasn't incense and i was just lying and i was actually getting high. I have no incense at this time so I decide to be fucked and i say okay, you're right. Turns out shes still a crazy hippie like she used to be, (i once found a journal entry that had phrases like "I will not submit to the system." and "jah society" haha it was sweet) So yah that just happened thought i'd share.
 
hahhaha ^^ parental hippies are the best

i got one from my mom, not about me but her. She grew up in chile, and when she came to the states at 16 she went through a rebelious stage, she was living in a wealthy part of NY and was like fuck this and hitchhiked across country at 16 to yellowstone where she chilled for 2 years. Then her parents wanted her to come back and go back to school and she was like screw you guys cause they said they were coming to get her. Instead of sitting around and waiting for her parents she and her boyfriends jump ship and head to Jamaica were she lived for two more years teaching wind surfing, anyway the story is that apparently her parents and her had the worst conversation before she finally came home from jamaica. in this convo apparently my mom exchanged some pretty harsh stuff but wont tell me what she said. Now that im being "rebelious" with drinking and smoking and what not i find it funny how much shes trying to make me not fall into her crazy ways

just though it was a good TRUE story
 
i went out to dinner with my family and my boyfriend for graduation and we ordered calimari at the resturant that i worked at and i only like the rings and not the tenticals and infront of everyone including my 80 yr old grandma i announced that "i get the rings cause i dont like to eat the testicals"

yea they are never gonna let me live that one down haha..
 
haha when i was 9 or 10 me and my friend were in this room in maryland it was kinda connected to the one my older cousin and his girlfriend are in. and we heard them having sex, we just kinda learned everything about it and what not and we were laughing and shit. it was vacation cause my uncle owns the cabin we were in so our whole family is there. we are all eatin breakfast outside and i go "hey justin did you have fun having sex last night?" in front of the whole family, it was AWKWARD cause i thought you could talk about that stuff back then. he was probably pretty pissed too hahahaa.
 
last weekend i was at a party and my freind's step dad who happens to be a minister came down right as my canadian freind was taking an ENOURMOUS hit from my pipe. she was the only one in the room who didnt know he was there but he was more embarrassed than we were.
 
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