Most embarrasing thing you have ever said to you parents

i asked my mom how many times a day she masterbates i wasent embarised just cause i dont get embarised

 
haha this is kinda off topic but today in english class we were talking about our (black) governor and my teacher said "I thought I saw him at dunkin' donuts a few days ago" and then she says "I couldnt really tell though because he was wearing a baseball hat and black people look the same when they wear hats" it was amazing everyone in our class died laughing because our english teacher is kind of strict/nice at the same time and she didnt understand what everyone was laughing about
 
well i didnt say this to my parents but i was getting a physical over the summer andmy doctor said do u know why we make u trun ur head and cough and i said umm so u dont get creeped out watchin some dud holding ur balls. haha and he so good answer but no its so u dont cough on us.
 
weird, thats kind of a stupid question isnt it, and ahh having conversation with the guy while hes holding your balls, seems like thats just making the situation more awkward.
 
haha this is a good one..... So im at his party while my parents are out and i got to be home by 10:30 cause i was currently grounded at the time for getting caught by cops with beer, and i wasnt driving, so i was pregamin before the party and i pounded 3 beers and had about equal to 5 shots before i got to the party. when i got there i was rockin a sweet buzz and started to drink every beer / drink that was in sight, i black out. i dont remeber anything but appaerntly this chick drove me home and i told her to "touch it" a million times haha while on ride home, so i get home and i slightly remeber goin up my stairs..... next thing i remeber i wake up at 3;30 am still drunk surrrounded by piles of puke and a huuuuge puddle of piss so i stuble around and rip off my sheets tthrow them in the washer and pass back out on my bed. i wake up i dont know what time and my mom was like did you get sick last nite. " yeah " did you wet the bed? m: "uhh yeah i think it was from the wendys i had" mom: "oh okay you still feel sick" "yeah" "go lay down in my bed" "alright" haha to this day she still has no idea.. she probs knows but didnt say anythnig hahaha but it was a good/bad night hahah
 
this is my story but with my uncle...So my parents went to SLC this yeah during football seasonish just to get away well i was in charge and my sister was stayin the night at my uncles house so me and my girly were just chillen at my house and decided to get freaky...so we jumped in the shower a little foreplay and then things led to things so we just got done and im layin in my bed sweating and shit with the condom in the garbage ( was planning on throwing away later) so were just laying there and earlier i had to go on a condom run so i went and forgot to lock ALL the doors...well turns out my parents sent my uncle over to check on me because we didn't answer the phones. the cells were upstairs and i turned the ringer off on my phone in my room. Were laying there and i hear the door open and i say " what was that?" and my girly goes don't be paranoid then we hear "Neil!!" so we panic i grab the condoms quickly slide them under the dresser except for ONE!!! well my uncles walks in i just BARELY got my pants on and my girly is sitting naked on my couch with a blanket over her...well turns out the ONE condom was left out in plain site my uncle sees it and says whats that? I say nothing and cover it with my hand. My little sister goes over and looks down the blanked my girly had and says EWWW SHE'S NAKED!! so my uncle turns and looks at me and says "Were you guys doing it?" and I say, just not thinkin and out of no where " NO, I was just looking" haha well now everytime i see him he says THIS ISN"T THE CONDOM AISLE (sp)!!! and it is just embarrasing!! sorry if this was hard to read

 
here's another one i just remembered...I'm sitting at my girlfriend's grandparents house and were all eating dead silence (so the dinner started off akward) well i lean over to kiss my girlfriend on the cheak, peek up to see her grandma with the dirtiest fucking look I've ever seen. So i don't say one word to my girly the rest of dinner till right at the end. The sun was just setting and her mom was sitting in front of the window...well her mom had her hair flipped out and her TIPS of her hair looked purple...so i tell my girlfriend in probably the loudest whisper i have ever done "Your mom's TIPS look purple." My girly says what did you say? and i say it louder and next thing I know everybody is staring at me...they all thought i said "Your moms TITS look purple" so her grandpa (sitting on my left) says what did you say? I tell him the TIPS part and oh my god it was the most embarrasing thing I have had to go through. Now when im just sitting at my girly's basketball games minding my own business her mom ALWAYS gives me shit for it and it gets worse and worse eachtime!! SHITTY DEAL EH?
 
yesterday me and my friends were up on the slope and my parents brought cocktails and i had a few swigs cause my parents are chill with that and then my step mom offered some to my friend jered and he said: 'no thanks, i don't drink anymore'. yeah.
 
hahahahah, by far best thread EVER. heres mine.

over the summer, woke up, with some GNARLY morning wood. the kind that is just like, petrified wood, pornstar-dick morning wood. haha. so im like grinnin and shit and get up, start gettin dressed, and my dick is still rock hard. so im standing there with this HUGE boner and the door whips open. my mom. her eyes just like popped, and she slammed the door and ran downstairs.

it was actually one of the funniest things ever. embaressing, but you just have to laugh
 
This one wasn't with my parents, but it's still pretty funny.

So I bought some condoms while I was at home and forgot to pack them for the trip back to college. Morning of the flight, by some miracle, I remember I still had them in my room and quickly toss them into my pocket on the way out...

Get to the airport and start heading through security. Go through the metal detector and of course on the inside of condom packages is aluminum foil so the sensor goes off. They're like "Make sure you have no metal in your pockets, yadda yadda" so I start ripping shit out, pull out the condoms and quickly stuff them back into my pockets without thinking of the aluminum foil...

Well they were the Trojans with the kind of light blue packaging that at a distance could be mistaken for Orbit, so the old security ladies are like "Is that gum? You know those have metal in them" and I'm trying to play it off like "No no, not gum, don't worry about it" still completely oblivious to the fact there's metal in the packaging.

Go through it a third time, of course the sensor goes off, and some old man, like at least 70 pulls me into the glass box... has me empty out my pockets and as I pull out the condoms I say "So uh... yeah this is a little awkward... my uh... my girlfriend is picking me up at the airport...?" And he goes "No no son, never be embarrassed about something like that. They'll save your life one day" so I just kind of nod my head, grab my shit and book it... so embarrassing...
 
lol this is a funny thread

but anyway i have a couple awkward moments but they arent anyuthing compared to some of these. also im only like 13 so me and my friends havent done much yet lol.

ok

so me and my friends gf were spending the night at our frinds house and kinad earlier in the night we went outside and smoked tangerin peals lol dont laugh at me ok... and then he had a cigar somewhere but he forgot where he put it and hes like

:adrien, have you seen that cigar"?

and adriens his older sister and shes like yea and tells him where it is and so we go and smoke that and then later we were shotgunning beers and she saw us, basically that was a very awkward morning after cuz we all just passed out on the couch and then hi mom comes to wake us up and were all just laying there and she wakes us up at like noon and then she just looks at us kinda weird and walks off. lol

and this one time me and my mom were talking about drugs and it ended up to be talking about pot bein illegal and then i decided tha im ognna move to vancouver when im older and then shes like why? and im like cause pot isnt enforced there so i dont have to listen to repubs bitchin about everything and she asjs me how i kno that and i told her i just do and i dont wanna talk about it. and pretty much any sex/drug talk is pretty awkward.
 
this isn't really that bad, but it's the worst I could come up with...

I think this was either middle school or early high school. But anyway, I always used to stay up really late, and I would usually have to go piss before I went to bed. The only problem is that my mom has ears like a bat and if I so much as made the tiniest creak on my way to the toilet, she would wake up and I would ruin her good night's sleep because she could never get back to sleep for some reason.

So, one night, it was extra late so I just pissed in a bottle I had by my bed. No big deal, I was going to dump it out the next day or something.

Anyway, I forgot about it, and a few months later my mom found it. Problem is, it had fermented into a caustic brew of ammonia and other nasty shit and she didn't think it was piss... she thought I was huffing benzene fumes. I had to convince her that all I had done was piss in a bottle and I wasn't addicted to benzene fumes.

I don't think I have any sexual ones... I am pretty secretive with that stuff around my parents for some reason.
 
i didnt say this to my parents but my dad said this to me and my brother-

me and my brother got home from school and were hungry, so we decided to make some taquitios(sp??) so we make a bunch and then throw the trash and stuff away. they kind of left a mexican smell in the kitchen. my dad gets home from work and comes to the bottom of the stairs and yells for me ad my brother. he is like freaking out and then... says! WHY DOES THE KITCHEN SMELL LIKE FOOD? as soon as he said that we start dying of laughter! it was hilarious and we never let hiim forget it.
 
I could actually see how that would be pretty damn funny if you're one of the people involved. I like it.
 
Potential awkward situation shortly:

So my uncle got me a beer mug for Christmas. It's actually pretty pimp, it has a picture of my dad at 17 on the side and the inside is glazed. Anyways, so my mom just sent me an e-mail asking how I liked being back at school and all and one of her questions is "Have you enjoyed that beer mug?" I feel like no matter how I answer, things could get weird... she's not nearly as down with me drinking as that question suggests.
 
well this isnt me, but its my dad. so we were drving my friend back to his house from being on the lake all day during the summer. and we pull up and he had jsut got a new tube (for the lake) and my dad was like "thats a cool tube", then my friend said, "yeah, they call it the screamer"

my dad said "your mom is a screamer"
 
one time my mom walked in on me and my cousin wendy having sex

i managed to convinve her we were just wrestling though
 
this really isnt that embarassin but in the middle of a car ride i was just sittin there and i heard sumtang bad on the news and i yell" what the fuck" really loud and my mom hates it wen i swear so yah \\\bst thread ever///
 
my sister also one time was pleasuring herself and i was watching her, and my dad walked in... he said "are you guys done your homework"- my sister went back to pleasuring herself when he left... then we did it again
 
i havent ever said anything embaressing to my parents. everything most would find embaressing i dont find embaressing at all. i dont get embaressed very well
 
same, nothing is really embarrassing w/ my parents anymore. once you stop lying to them, things stop getting awkward. at least for me. i mean, half the time they know what's up anyways.
 
hahaha. i like this one. too funny.

this one really isn't embarrassing, but i still get shit from it. about a week ago i was playing with my dog and my mom was standing there along with my dad, my brother, and my best friend davis. i start wrestling my dog and i grabbed him around his stomach area and kinda squeezed him and he let out the biggest fart ever - sound and everything. so i'm on the ground histerically laughing along with my mom and everyone else...needless to say the dog won that round.
 
This one isn't too good, but I'll take any opportunity to keep this amazing thread alive. A while ago I was talking to my parents on the phone, and my mom asked me if I went to my dorm's 'SOUP'er Bowl party... not sure how she knew it was even having one, but more importantly it was a super bowl party in which they served soup and tried to make a clever name out of it.. of course I didn't go.

"Nah, I went over to this girl Kim's dorm to watch it."

"Oh, so I imagine you didn't end up watching too much..."

I just kind of chuckled awkwardly, couldn't understand why she would say that haha.
 
like when i was nine or so i had no idea about what a blow job was. So my cousin who was like 21 at the time brought over her CD's and I saw Blink 182 Live. Blink was like my favorite band at the time so I was super stoked and was in desperate need of a burned copy.

Burned the copy and if anyones heard the CD there are songs like "It would be nice to have a Blowjob" (repeat.) and "Shit bitch fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits fart turd and twat"

well one day i was cruisin throw my house just yellin it cause i thought nothin of it and my dad was just like "Do you know what you're saying boy?!" and i repeat myself "It would be ni......No why? whats wrong with a blowjob?" my father explains to me that it is when someone sucks another boys penis!!!!!!!!! I died laughing cause he thought it was super serious. goofy sht
 
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