Most embarrasing thing you have ever said to you parents

ya, for some reason, my parents think any girl i hang out with or talk to on the phone is my girlfriend. Its kinda annoying
 
My whole family was in pheonix for ny sisters march break and I was home alone for 2 weeks. The last weekend I was home alone I had my gf come over for the night. I cooked her a nice meal and I had to go the store and pick up some lemon and limes to go in the meal and I had some left over in the fridge. So after dinner we head upstairs for a candlelight bath in the jucuzzi. Well things are starting to go real well and we go to move to my bedroom and I blow out the candles. After we are done in the bathroom i go to move the candles and put them back down stairs i realised when i blew them out the wax went all over the cermaic tile on my walls and it was in the grout. So my gf friend and I tried to clean up. Do you know how hard it is to clean up wax that has cooled in the grout and on the tile???( doesn't help that is red and blue wax on white) So we cleaned it up pretty good. My parents come home three days later and see the extra lemons and limes in the fridge and know i cooked something special cause I never cook. About an hour later when smom and dad are unpacking in thier room MOM somehow sees the tinest bit of wax I mean tiny you wouldn't be able to see it unless you looked. So she calls me up into her room and in front of my sis and my dad asks me what happened while she was away. Now me and my mom have had numerous save yourself for marriage talks cause mom is wierd like that so she knows what happened with the meal and the wax and she is in tears. My dad is smiling and my sis is laughing. I tell her i didn't have sex with the gf I had candles in the bathroom cause we don't have any curtains on the windows and i didn't want the neighbours to see me naked. ( the best excuse i could come up with) so mom
 
sorry didn't finish.

so mom insists thats not the truth. So i look at her and said fine you want the truth mean and the gf had wicked sex i bent her over YOUR bed and spanked her ass, i asked her who was her daddy and rode her like a donkey. MY dad burts into uncontrollable laughter my sister shrieks and runs from the rooom and my mom turns bright red and walks into her closet. I turn and walked away. we never spoke of that convo again except for my dad who came up to me and asked " was it good son?".

the funny part is i didn't use my rents bed but mom threw out the sheets and bleached the conforter.
 
another story

the first time i had sex was with the gf from the story above and we were at her house. She had a couple of partners before me so it wasn't new to her. We were going at it pretty good and all of the sudden the bed broke. I has humping the hell out of her so hard that the frame to her bed just let go. So she is like OMG and starts to panic cause it she doesn't know what to say to her parents. Its my first time so i am not stopping i keep on pumping away and she is like omg omg what am i gonna do???? omg omg don't stop harder etc swithing between freaking and enjoying it so then we are all done and we prop it up with a phone book. Her dad comes home like 4 hours later and sits down on the bed to help pher with her comp. the bed collapses again and he is like why did that happen. I can't help the big grin adn he looks at me looks at her and then the gf blurts out that the dog broke when he jumped onto the bed. He accepted that story but he always glares at me.

it's not really embarissing but it is funny
 
And one more

So I was at the same gf's house early in the morning. I came over to pick her up cause we were going out. she is in the shower and taking forever like most women and i fall asleep on her bed. She decides she doesn't like the pants she has in the bathroom so she dries of puts all her clothes on an walks out of the bathroom wearing just panties on her bottom half with her pants in her hands. I hear her gasp and I wake up and look out her bedroom door cause her bed is right in front of the door and see her dad standing at the bottom of the stairs. Staring at her and then at me. We all stare at each other fgor a good minute and then he walks away. Nothuing was happening then but of course it looked bad me on her bed and her with no pants on. He wouldn't talk to me or her for like a month
 
And another one

So me the same gf and some friends are going to go camping at Kejimikujick national park. The week before my we leave my friends cancel so now it is just me and the gf are going. Her parents father is not to thrilled at the idea and me the gf and both her rents are having a discussion on the issue of just me and her going. Her mom is telling the gfs dad to calm down they are 19 if the wanna go they can. He says he doesn't want her to go cause she will end up pregnant as a result of this trip. Her mom says "if they are going to have sex then we can't stop it cause they can make thier own decisions they are 19 plus we ( as in her rents) can't say much cause i was pregnant with her brother at 19". Her father then goes on to tell the no pants story of him coming home early (which her mother never knew of) and ended up by yelleing " I AM NOT AIDING MY DAUGHTERS SEX LIFE BY LETTING HER GO!!" Her mom smiles and goes well if the want to we can't stop them and then i blurt out " Yeah if we wanna do it were gonna do it and there is nothing you can do to stop it. You can't watch us everyminute of everyday". He turns bright red I shit my self cause I realised what i just did my gf punches me in the arm and my gfs mom laughs. My gfs father takes a step towards me and i am scared at this point and rooted to the spot and he turns around and walks downstairs the gf chokes on her juice she is drinking spits it on the floor punches me arm and we walk up stairs to her rooom and her mom is laughing in the kithcen. A week later i go golfing with the gfs father like nothing happened.

I couldn't believe i blurted it out and i was super embarassed.

there are some of my funny/embarissing stories
 
best story do far...

and jesus volklpro...

your parents are awesome... or horrible. i am still trying to decide.
 
They aren't really embarrising they are funny. A lot of funny shit happens to me. I got plenty more stories but i don't wanna hog this thread
 
whemn one of my good friends was little maybe 4th grade she asked her parents friend what a virgin was, and he responded with 'its someone who has a boyfriend."

and at the time she had a sorta boyfriend, the kind that u liek each other but that dont talk to each other, so ran around telling all her family and all her friends that she was no longer a virgin
 
i remember wheni was in grade 7 my math class won a pizza party for something and i was talking about it in my computer class with my friends. i was talking really loud and said "i don't know why we won, we were just jacking off". at that point i thought it meant screwing around. so the teacher heard me and sent me to the vice principes office. i told him i didn't know what it meant and he was just laughing and explained what it meant.of course after i said it my friend told me what it was and i was just like "oh shit". haha
 
I didnt say it, but my grandma did. My family and i were at my parents house eating dinner and out of nowhere my 76 year old grandma says: "I really popped a boner the other day". I looked at my dad and he pretended like he didnt know what a boner was, so i looked at my sister and we busteded up laughing.
 
my whole family met me out in vail for christmas one year. i stayed with them in their rented place so we could spend "family time" togather. well, they are parents and go to bed at like 9:30 so i would still go out to the bars with my friends and stuff. one night there was a coolio show at the 8150 and i got WASTED there with this old lady. fur, tons of tacky gold jewerly, platinum blonde hair, etc etc. you know exactly what i am describing.

long story short, the next morning i woke up on my parents couch, all kinds of hungover. i sat up (i had woken up when my mom walked into the kitchen to make breakfast) and my mom looked at me and said "what the fuck happened to your neck?". i went and looked in the mirror and discovered i had a hickey the size of a grapefruit on my fucking neck.

being drunk/hungover accidently said "it looks like i got mauled by a cougar" to my mom. i then had to explain to my mom what a cougar was, and that i had hooked up with a lady older than my own mother the night before. my explanation? "but she was really aggressive!". my mom took pictures and emailed them to all our family friends.

i ran into the cougar again at the reverand horton heat show later that week. i need to go out less. alcoholic power!
 
how do you know this i cant imagine him coming out of the doctors office announceing that the doctor gave it to him.
 
if i ever got a boner at the docs and it was a male doc id never say a single word to anyone hahahhaha fuck that shit
 
One time my friend was over for dinner, and my mom said something like, "We got these apples in Vermont." and I said to my friend, "Doesn't that blow your mind," and my friend says, "I thought you were going to say Ballsack."
 
this isn't with my parents, but i have a friend who has a serious thing against asians, so we were in whistler and were walking by this cafe with this asian family siting at a table and he coughs/yells "SARS" at the top of his lungs and then just ran, so im left with this asian family just staring at me so i bolted.
 
I met these girls at the resort and we ended up going back to their condo. Where everyone proceeded to get pretty fucking smashed. I had lots to drink and shit went down. Then at about 1 in the morning her parents came back from the bar. They didn't think it was a good idea for some complete stranger who's fucking smashed to sleep on their couch and since they're all smashed I had to phone my mom for a ride at 1 in the morning.

So she comes and picks me up and I get in the car and we're driving back to my house. Since I'm smashed I'm slurring my words pretty well and I say, "Wow mom you smell really good it smells like somekind of coconut perfum." Then she goes kind of stiff and says, "Ummm, I'm pretty sure thats you and it smells like coconut tanning oil." "Oh Right," I say, "Now I remember it's all over my boxers."

The worst thing was I woke up so hung over in the morning remembering the entire thing and I walk into the kitchen and my entire family bursts into laughter.
 
My mom said she had found porn in my room, I just shrugged. Then she asked me how I got around the parental controls. Fuck how the hell do I answer that? I just told her no comment.

She had no fucking clue. The dumbass that set up my computer made me an administrator, so I just tured them off.

Not embarrasing, but I thought it was funny as hell.
 
1 that comes to mind is wen i was like 9 and went to see the titanic in theaters w/ my mom and i saw that grls tits....and i was sitting rite next to my mom....kinda awkward
 
last year when my dad and his friend tooke me and 3 of my friends up skiing. my dad and his friend went somewhere that night and we were just messin around in the condo, and we had a laser pointer that we were pointing at this grocery store next door, and some of the employes came outside and started yelling stuff and mooning us and stuff. so we try talking one of my friends into putting his balls on the window, so we are yelling as loud as we can stuff like "top smash your nuts on the window!!" and "take your dick out and put it on the window!" then my dad and his friend walk in while we are yelling all this stuff as loud as we can and we didnt see him cause he was in the hallway. so we see him and just stare and he had an akward face and he just says "hey boys!" and walked down stairs.
 
Another story a friend of mine is gay and he ws at home with his boyfriend. his entire family is hard core christian and his dad is the local minister at church so you know he can not comeout to his family cause they willhate him forever. His dad was away for the day dealing with something for the congregation and my friend and his BF werefooling around in his room. I guess just as he got on his knees and started to suck of his bf his dad came home and came up into his room. So lillte christian boy is on his knees sucking dick heard the door open and turned around his dad was staring at him. His dad turned white passed out and smashed his head off of the bedside table and they had to take him to the hospital to get 10 sticthces. He got kicked out of the house and for the rest of his life his father has to try and explain the big scar on his forehead when anyone asks.
 
I play rugby for the province of NS and one day for practice the U-19 play the u-21s. My sis came to watch the game cause she had nothing to do. In first ten minutes I got caught offside so I was running back onside and at the same time someone else was too. I was running faster than him and wasn't paying attention to him and as he swung his arm back while running i ran right into his elbow. His elbow hit my left eyebrow I felt the skin push in and then on the rebound out i felt it split. So i am treing to run around the field trying to play while wiping blood thats gushing out of my head. The play stops and I walk up to the ref and ask him for a blood sub. His reply was ooooohhh shit sure! so I walk off the field and to the bench. One of the other players moms is a nurse so she comes over and cleans me up and says it will probably only be one stich and it is bleeding so much cause i have a lot of blood vessels there it is no big deal. And i should go to the hospital. My coache walks over and says i am fine but the nurse tells him I have to go caus eI have blood that is under my skin thats not leaking out that needs to be drained.( it was like the blood got stuck in between layers of skin) He looks at me and asks if I have any diseases. I say "no why?" he grabs my head and with his bare hands pushes my forehead so hards that the blood is pushed out from under my skin and is fine. So i take a dirty shirt ( noit the best thing to do) and put it over the cut. Ask to play again once the bleeding stops and he tells me no cause it is only practice and I shpould go to the hospital. I refuse to go till the game is done and I refuse to leave my van in the gehtto( the field was in the ghetto) and I drove myself to the hosptial. So on the way there my sis is freaking out cause i have blood all over my face and can't see verywell cause of the shirt i am hoilding to my eye. People are looking at me fuuny as i drive past them cause i have blood covering me. It takes us a bit to find the emerg for this hospital cause i have never been there before. I walk into the emerg with my sis and get stopped by the receptionist. She is like omg and calls the parmedics to come see me ( i tried to remove the shirt on the way in and when i did that the dried blood stuck to the shirt and ripped the cut open again) caus ei am pouring blood again. I refuse to go into get looked at untill she gives me a parking pass to put in my van caus ei ain't paying a ticket. She told me not to worry but i refused so she gave me one and i went back out put it in my van and came back into the emerg. When i came back in my sis was with the paramedics and she gave them all my info and the take me into some back office where they do triage. The guy doin triage on me is playing solitaite on the comp as he is looking at me and there is some kid who got fucked over while riding a bike thats there too and he has no idea who he is and where he is. So he is done looking at me and i get taken into the second waiting room right away. While I am waiting I tell my sis to go call my gf (same as oher stories) and tell her why io can't make it to our date. So my smart sis goes and calls her and says in these exact words "hi lisa corey is in the hospital bye" and hangs up. So my gf is pretty upset casue rugby is ruough and I play prop so I have a pretty good chance of breaking my neck. So she is upset. This is at 4:00pm. So we wait in the 2nd waiting room forever caus eI am not that bad and everyone that is in there today just so happens to have head trauma or has to be stiched up. so at 10:30 i get into a bed to be looked at and me and my sis have nothing to eat all day. My sis who is thinking of bieng a doctor comes into watch. The doct looks at my cut and says one stich and you'll be fine. She gets the big mofoin needle for the freezing I lay back and close my eyes and i fell the freezing start to go into my eyebrow. All of a sudden I hear this huge crash and things go flying the doc is like wtf omg and rips the needle out of my eye. She tore it out so bad that she ended up tearing my cut open another good inch or so. I hear people talking and like are you ok are you ok but they aren't taliing to me. I wipe the now fresh blood out of my eye ( cause of the doc) and the freezing out of my eye and look off the bed and my sis is passed out on the floor. She passed out and fell through the curtain onto the bed beside her and onto a foot stool the the floor. So the guys bed who she fell into is missing a finger cause he cut it off is like OMG girl are you ok>\? I am lughuing uncontrolably and the doctor is like shut up asshole its not funny and my sis is bawling. They move her out and ask if she is diabetic cause she hadn't had ne thing to eat and I say no so they think that seeing the needle close to my freaked her out and haveing no sugar just made sick and she passed out. So the doc comes back and looks at my eye and goes oh shit!! Do you know hwat it is like to have your doc go oh shit while she is looking at you. I ask her whats wrong and she says that I need 6 stiches instead of once cause of my sis and her ripping the needle out. so we get home @ 12am and my dad is liek where were you guys? I said we werew supposed to get home at 5:00pm and you didn't bither looking for us. He says i don't car bout you i was just wondering where the car was. I said thanks and walked upstairs and he didn't notice the stiches till the next day and my sis went to bed crying cause i made fun of her the whole way home and told her it was her fault i need extra stiches soi she felt really shitty.
 
Nope. She's pretty much the most unskankly person I know. She doesn't go out. She's obsorbed with school. She hasn't even hung out with her friends on a saturday night in like 4 months. She takes 8 classes at the hs here, and 4 at the college. Hardly a skank. And we live in a small town, any guy who tried shit with her, knows that I'd find out. The last time any guy tried that, he ended up getting thrown into a set of lockers, and kicked in the chest 4 times in front of like 120 kids. Nobody fucks with my little sister.
 
um....well, if you've read any of my really good stories, the PPP knows all about them, and a few other select people, you'd probably lean towards horrible. I'm mostly a good guy, but I've done some fucked up shit in my day.
 
two friends of mine slept at my place beacuse I lived close to the party we had been to. well they were both girls..

the next morning my mom comes in to my room and she was like "hmmm okej ehh I didnt know you had company"... well later that thay my mom started to ask me about sex and responsibility...
 
well when I was like 3 or something my dad and his buds thought it would be entertaining to teach me a few swear words to tell my mom. From what they have told me, my mom came home after work and I walked up to her and said "fuck shit". Must of been pretty damn funny for my dad and his friends but my mom got super pissed.
 
i was sitting at the dinner table right after my dad picked me up from college for a break and he was talking about how my roomate was still asleep at 230 when he got there, and i was explaining to him that he had a concert last night for his band and his sister and friend were there too. Then my mom asked where they slept, and without thinking i was like ummm i think they slept in my bed cause it looked messed up. My mom just glared at me and was like, and where did you sleep, and once again without thinking i was like my girlfriends bed.....ya that went over real well with her, she loved that one.
 
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