Most embarrasing thing you have ever said to you parents

A few years ago, my high school soccer team won our league so we took a picture in front of our school and a bunch of kids, including me, held up the shocker and didnt think anything of it cause no adults knew what it ment. A few weeks later we got called down to the office. They threatened to suspend us but instead we just got 2 saturday schools(come in on saturday from 730-1030) and we had to call our moms and tell them why we got in trouble. O my god it was so embarassing. I was like "a shocker is when you put two fingers into a girls vagina and one into her butt." It was akward around me and my parents for the next few weeks.
 
I think I was in... 9th grade when my mom caught me wanking off to porn in front of the computer; I thought she was gone shopping. So yeah, she was me fully erect, which still makes me shiver with fear. Plus she told my dad, who talked to me for about an hour. Horryfing. Our relationship has never been the same.
 
This isnt something i said to them but I gave my great grandmother who is like probably 88 a concusion by dropping a picture on her by accident.

After i dropped it i swore really loud in front of my gram too, it sucked
 
telling my mom that I was a homosexual was pretty hard...telling my dad was even worse, he took it pretty harshly, banend me from the family, mom wasn't all that okay with it but you know, she let me live the way i wanted to live
 
woah. thats harsh.

dont worry man, my dad straight up told me if i ever went gay, he would kick me out of the family.
 
wow, thats pretty hard. my friend's brother is gay but his parents are really christian and my friend thinks that his mom will kill her self if she finds out
 
haha, my friend's babysitter walked in on him, then told his parents. How do you tell someone's parents "Oh, by the way, i caught so and so masturbating today" it would be pretty awkward
 
One time I was up really late watchin TV an shit and so I was dirty from mountain biking during the day, so I went up and took a shower. My perents were asleep and I was so drowsy so afterwards, I just walk into my room naked, and fall asleep on my bed. I woke up at about six aclock in the morning, like 3/4 asleep, and I see my mom sitting right next to me. shes mumbling about chores or something, and shes sitting right beside me. I fall back asleep and wake up later. Then I frantically realize that she had sat next to me when I was naked and I was so lucky that my blanket had managed to cover my crotch. Im still not positive on that fact, but Im pretty sure. I akwardly checked with her about talking to me, and I was pretty weirded out, but I dont think she knew I was naked.
 
heh, i don't really talk to my parents, but a friend of mine came home early from school one day and found his dad whacking it to porn on his computer. he just walked out and they haven't talked about it since. haha.
 
oh and in like 2 grade this kid called me blow job and i kept asking my mom what it meant and now that i look back on it thats weird

i asked my mom what a blowjob was
 
I just had another big embarrassing moment not 5 minutes ago. my dad came over to my computer and i was looking at something on newschoolers. He looks at something i posted and he reads my profile outloud "I'll nose press your box if you lipslide my rail" "you say tomato, I say Fuck you" and then he just looks at me. I'm like nose press is a trick and a box is what you can do that trick on and a lipslide is another trick and out do it on a rail. and he just walks away and doesn't talk to me. luckly he just left to go out to dinner with my mom cuz i don't think i would be able to stay here with him after that.
 
my mom caught me wathcing some porn freshmen year.. i wasnt wackin it yet but i was just checkin out the vid.. she walked in and run out.. then told my dad about it.. then another time my dad caught me and he walks in and im just about to finish.. and he goes o thats cute.. adn walks out
 
I drove home really drunk one night, probably the most I have ever driven drunk. I was hoping my parents would be asleep, but they weren't. My mom was in the kitchen when I got home, and she stalled me and was like whats wrong with your eyes, and I said "nothing" and then she asked why I was slurring my words and I said "I'm not slurring my words" and I successfully botched that sentence with a heap of slurring. Needless to say, I went upstairs, puked in the toilet, and then my dad came and beat the shit out of me for driving drunk.

However, I persevered to become a Born-Again Drunk Driver
 
so i was at my buddies house and we had the bong out and a shit load of people over, beer cans, empty 2.6's everywhere, people hooking up on the lawn, complete gongshow.

his parents come home a day early and we're just like shit.

his mom walks in right as her son is hitting the bong. comes over smells our weed and gose, this is shit. walks away comes back with a big ziploc bag. and is like here.

it was a little werid.

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the most embarssing thing with my mom was i came home pissed drunk, and i was dragging my head agaisnt the wall walk straight and to hide being drunk from my mom. but i hit my head on the thermostat and she knew right away.

and any sex talk with my parents you know is going to be werid
 
two weeks ago i was online talkin to my friend and my dad (Im in college) and my friend goes what are you doing tonight.. i said "goin to eat, get the mj, and then go smoke it"... sent it to my dad... wasnt to bad tho!
 
when i was little i was at my bros socer game and tere were osme annoying shicks there and my borther to me to sing a song"y r u gay....y were u sucking on mu d.i.c.k." to the beat of teh ymca song and he was like no doint i was jk nad i did ...i got hell ofr that one
 
so its a natural fact that guys have morning wood..it just happens...so my dad is super weird and one morning a friend of mine had just passed out on the floor with a blanket, and my dad thought it would be hilarious to rip the blanket off my hungover friend. So my buddy is super groggy and kinda still asleep and thought it was me...and he goes "ahh you fucker i have morning wood" then opens his eyes and realizes it was MY dad...he doesnt come over much anymore
 
"what makes you get hairy palms if you do it? i heard it's some old wives tale or something, but i forgot what supposedly makes that happen...?"

and they could have just said "i dunno" but nooooo they had to explain, and "reassure" me that it wasn't true haha
 
thanksgiving dinner, I was 10, mom asks me to get the chicken baster to get all the broth out of the pan, i then proceeded to ask what a chicken bastard looked like, i couldn't find it in the drawer, she laughed forever and never did tell me, i found out when i asked at school...
 
Ok, I thought of one. Me, my family, and my cousins, were all canoing down the river. We were playing this game, where you went around the circle and said a letter, and then the next person said a letter, and so forth. If you make a word on your turn, your out. So anyway, it was at s-h, and my turn. So my, not thinking, blurted our i-t. Everyone just stared at me, and I felt so embarrased. I was trying to think of some word that starts with s-h-i-t, to cover it up, there is none.
 
mom: kenny i found condoms in your room yesterday

me: well would you rather me not use them? and get her pregnant.

dad: still son, you should wait.

me: she wanted to.

mom: what, she wanted to?!
 
singing the "girls go to venus to chope off their penis and boys go to mars", i forget the rest, when i was like 6 or 7.

And my mom reading my msn messages and thought a girl i was talking to was my girlfreind....akward, i hate when that happens
 
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