Jokes... It's all Jokes.. Add 'em Here!

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Q: how do you find the poorest mexican?

A: roll a quarter down the street and see who gets there first.

Q: how do you find the richest mexican?

A: see who found the quater.
 
hehehehe

Ok so you know how guys have to piss the second we wake up every morning...

Have you ever wondered why women DON'T

Well have you ever opened a grilled cheese sandwich when its warm?

HAHAHAHA sorry heard that from a guy who races the figure 8 tracks. It's def dirty.
 
bump cause I'm bored and this is funny.

ummm

sooo

a black guy and a mexican jump off a building, who hits the ground first?

the Mexican hits first because the black guy stops half way down to spray paint "fuck you".
 
Whats worse than a pile of dead babys?

Theres one alive at the bottom.

Whats worse than that?

Hes eating his way out.

Whats worse than that?

He made it.

Whats worse than that?

Hes going back for seconds.
 
yumm.

so this isn't really a joke, but last night i was serving these guys at the bar i work at and one of them ordered a milkshake. so one turns and looks at him and says "Would you like a la senza gift certificate with that?"

i laughed for a while.
 
i dont know if these are already on here.....sorry if they are, i didnt have enought itme to read all of em before class.

what do you tell the woman with 2 black eyes?

nothing, shes already been told twice.

what does the woman who was just released from the home for battered women do first?

the dishes if she knows whats right for her.
 
Q: Why werent there any black people in the Flinstones?

A: They were still monkeys

Q: If a black person and a mexican jump off a building who wins?

A: Society
 
Q: why couldn't hellen keller drive?

A: because she was a woman.

Q: what do you call the useless skin around a pussy?

A: a woman.
 
Ok.

So this guy has been with his girlfriend for a while, and while on vacation in jamaica, and slightly intoxicated, they decide that to show their love for each other, they are both going to get tattoos of the others name. So they guy goes in to the tattoo parlor, and tells the tattoo guy that he wants "Wendy" tattooed on his dick. The tattoo guy is like "okay, but you need to get it hard so I can do this." So he hands the guy a porn mag, and things progress, and he gets his tattoo. He goes home, shows Wendy, and things are fine. Well, he notices that when it is limp, he can only see the letters WEY. This kind of disturbs him at first, but he gets over it. Well later that day, he goes in to a bathroom to take a leak, and he is standing at the urinal and looks over to see this black guy with WEY on his dick too. He is like "I know this is ackward, but is your girlfriends name wendy too." The jamaican looks at him, then looks down and says "No, it says 'Welcome to Jamaica mon, have a nice day."

Disclaimer: This joke is way better told, especially if you do the jamaican accent right.
 
Q. whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

A. beer nuts are about $1.25, but deer nuts are always under a buck.
 
so theres a group of ducks and a group of skunks playing in the road one day when all of a sudden, a semi truck comes and kils them all except for one baby duck and one baby skunk. the two of them team up and do everything with eachother. they are like brother and sister to eachother now. one day the duck asks

"weve been toghether for all this time now and i still dont know what i am"

the skunk replies: "well your white all over, have an orange bill, webbed feet, and wings, you must be a duck."

the duck: "yay yay im a duck im a duck"

the skunk then asks: "what am i"

the duck says: "well your half black, half white, and you stink, you must be puerto rican"
 
guy quit it with the racist jokes please!!! i had a gradnfather that died in the holocaust!

he fell from a guard tower

and

stop it with the racist jokes, i have a black man in my family tree, at least i think he's still hanging there
 
i dont know why but i laughed so hard at that one.

heres another one:

so a woman goes to a doctor, and he comes back after some tests and is like: i have two things of bad news. the first is that you have breast cancer and will probably die within the week.

woman: OH MY GOD!!!!

doctor: the other is that you have alzheimers (sp?)

woman: at least i don't have breast cancer!
 
ahh. i left ns open on this jokes thread at school, and i was still signed in onto my account at school.

i come back to the comp cuz i forgot a book and my english teachers reading these!!!! he just laughed.......
 
There once was three midgets that weren't good at anything. One day they were walking by the Guiness Book of world records headquarters and were thinking "hey there must be somethinig that we are good at."

So they sat down a started thinking. The first one starts rubbing his nose trying to think. Suddenly he runs into the building. Ten minutes later he comes out and say "I have the smallest nose in the world."

Now the other two want to find something. After a while the second one starts rubbing his ears. Then he runs in. Ten minutes later he comes out and say "I have the smallest ears in the world."

The third one really wants to find something now. So he is thinking and starts to rub his crotch and runs in. A minute later he comes out and says " Who the fuck is Lil_G!"
 
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