Jokes... It's all Jokes.. Add 'em Here!

I know the last one was a really racist, im sorry if anyone was offended, i thought my friend told me and told me to put it on there..

... J.D says:

I am a good catholic boy, i swear when the priest told me to get on my knees i thought we were going to pray

 
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower?

Give the bitch a shovel.

How come black people are so good at basketball?

Because they can shoot, steal, and run.
 
what do u call 10 black people hanging from a tree in alabama?
-alabama wind chimes

Why do black people lean inwards into their car when they drive?
-they think the smell is coming from outside.
 
Racist jokes are played people. They're not even funny anymore.

A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family - but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.

When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
 
2 condoms were walking down the street and saw a gay bar, one condom said to the other "wanna get shitfaced tonight?"
 
Q: What's better than 7 dead babies in 1 trash can?
A: 1 dead baby in 7 trash cans!

haha a little fucked up but still makes me laugh
 
Why havent women been sent to the moon?

It doesnt need cleaning yet.

/

Why was hellen keller a bad driver

Because hellen keller was a woman
 
Q: What's the difference between 5 dead babies in a trash?

A: 1 dead baby in 6 trashes.

Q: What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib?

A: A Pedophiles ass!!

Q: What is the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truck load of dead babies?

A: You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitch fork!

Q: Why is it so hard to play with dead babies?

A: The parts keep coming off.

Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?

A: When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off

I love dead baby jokes hahahahaha

 
did you hear about the jewish sports car? it stops on a dime... then picks it up

why do black people have flat noses?
god had to put his foot somewhere when he pulled off their tails

no offense to anyone^ lol
 
why did hitler kill himself?he got the gas bill

why do jewish men get circumsiezed?

jewish women wont touch anything that isnt 20% off

whats the difference between a jew and a conoe?

canoes eventually tip

whats the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead black guy in the road?

dead dog has skid marks leading up to it

what do you say to a black jew?

get to the back of the oven

jew and a black guy jump out of a tree who hits first?

black guy cuz shit falls faster than ashes

what do you call a barn fool of african americans?

antique farm equipment

how do you starve a black man?

hide his food stamps under his work boots

a truck driver was taking a load of bowling balls across the border. on his way he saw a little black kid with a bike that had a flat tire. the kid asked him for a ride and he responded "yeah but your black ass has to ride in the back". about an hour later, the trucker got to the border. when border patrol asked what he was hauling he said "just some bowling balls". the trooper didnt believe him so he asked him to look in the back and the trucker agreed. the trooper opened the doors and saw the black kid and bike sitting on top of a bunch of bowling balls. the trooper returned to the trucker and said "sir, those are not bowling balls, they are nigger eggs and one of them just hatched and stole its first bike"

that being said i would like to add no offense, theyre just jokes. besides i have 2 black men in my family tree...we hung them last week.

seriously though no offense

 
I didnt read the other 6 pages,so sorry if this one has been told.

Why did the girl fall off the swing?

Because she didnt have arms.
 
this is a WSU vs. UW joke.

So one year WSU and UW had tied in football, basketball, pretty much all sports in which they played against eachother. So they had a sort of playoff festival over in eastern washington, about halfway between the two schools. They did stuff like potato sack racing, water balloon toss...but the teams would tie in everything!

Finally they said, we're going to have a literary, poetry contest.

Well the UW is all stoked 'cause they're the intellectuals, and they're pretty much convinced they have it in the bag.

The announcer says "you must come up with a poem, that incorporates the word Timbuktu"

So the UW huddles around eachother, and they all cheer when they think they've come up with the winning poem. their representative steps forward and begins:

..."or the ocean waves we sailed,

amongst hues of red, white, and blue

until we landed upon the shores

of our destination, Timbuktu"...

the UW fans all cheer.

Then the announcer says, "WSU, were you able to come up with something?"...one of the drunk WSU students steps forward and says:

"Tim and I a camping we went

we got three UW chicks in our tent

since they were 3, and we were 2

I bucked one, and Tim bucked two."
 
Q : Whats the difference between a dead nigger in the road, and a dead dog in the road?

A : there are skidmarkes infront of the dog.
 
here's a few:

What do u call it when a guy talks dirty to a man?

sexual harassment

What do u call it when a girl talks dirty to a women?

39 cents a minute

My grandfather died in the Holocaust...He fell of a Guard tower.

What did God say when he created the first black man?

"oops i burned one"

What did God say when he created the second black man?

"oops i burned another one"

and one more..its a video, watch the whole thing.

flash_video_placeholder.png


 
a mouse, a cat and a dog were sleeping. Suddenly there is a big ''BOOOOOOM'' noise.

The mouse wake up,

the cat wake up,

but not the dog cause he is the one that just explode.

well...
 
how do you know if youre neighbours a jew?

theres toilet paper on the clothesline outside
 
Q:whats faster than a black guy with a TV A:his little brother with the VCR
Q: what do you call a bunch of black guys in a back of a pickup truck A: a good days hunting
I have more but dont have time now ill post more later
 
just heard this one in school, do not get mad at me im not racist im actually sitting next to an african american kid who gave me permission to post this.

i shldn't tell this joke because i have a black man in my family tree...hes been hangin there for years

srry haha
 
Q: what's a womans point of view?
A: The kitchen window

Q: How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, let the bitch cook in the dark!

Q: Whats worse than getting a splinter?
A: AIDS

tsall i got right now
 
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