Worst thing you have ever said to a girl

One of my friends was about to hook up with this girl who I happen to know has the herp so I see them about to head upstairs to find a room so I just scream across the party " DON'T DO IT JOHN SHE HAS HERPES" The whole party just shuts up and looks at me and the girl ran away crying. Dumb bitch.

I was hooking up with a pretty big girl and was absollutely shitfaced and told her "I can't fuck you because you're fat but if I close my eyes you can give me a bj." It somehow worked, yay for low self esteem! I think i passed out during the blowjob though.....

I also drunkenly called a girl a baluga whale as my friend was hooking up with her about 10 feet away. He heard it so I'm pretty sure she did too.
 
I was about to get my nose Downstauirs on this girl and i had to plug my nose cause it was just too bad to bear. Not words but Body language.
 
Sure man, here's my best attempt

"damn bud wehre do it begin?dis one pizza face girl as a joke"can i add some ranch to yo pizza?"den is made fun of her more, dis how it goeskid: lets order some pizzaLil G: nah bud dat bitch over dere can jus sell slices of her faceotha timei was fuckin dis girl in tha ass at dis party in tha bathroom and she hit her head on tha mirror caus i slam too hardbitch: ooouuuhh! stopLil G: shut up bitch. my dick is in your ass i own you!den she got sad and left and criedden dis otha party dis bitch was drunk enough to call me a nigger to my face. so funny all tha people conviced her dat she is so fucked up and had to make it up to me so she ended up suckin my dick in front of like 5 people cause everyone presured her and she was hella drunk.i'm a bad person sometimes bud"

Translated:

There's this one particular female in my bookclub that I do not care for. Her acne was noticably bad, and so to make her aware of this I suggested that I ejaculate on her face. I then compared this action to spreading ranch sauce onto a pizza, as her skin was truly dismal. I went on to suggest that her semen covered face could very well be mistaken for pizza and I offered to sell it to my friends by the slice. Another time I found myself inserting my penis into a girls rectum while in the bathroom of a party I was attending. My thrusting became so vigorous that it caused her to hit her head on the bathroom mirror. I politely informed her that I would not be stopping with our current festivities, and by default, my penis being inside of her anus made her my "bitch". She was not happy with the news, and began to cry. She was in fact so upset, that she began to yell racial slurs at me. Our peers deemed this to be inappropriate. So much so that this particular female felt that the only true way to earn forgiveness would be to perform oral sex on me, while five of my friends watched to make sure that the debt was repaid properly.
 
im talking to this kid on aim who has this fat bitch over his house, he goes" oh mal just came into the room." so i go "HOW BIG IS THE FUCKING ROOM"....she saw it because it was in all caps,(she is fat, her last name is wil and everybody calls her the wildebeest) but she confronted me at a dance, when i was drunk and said it really hurt her feelings, i said the truth hurts sometimes and walked away.. i guess that was kind of mean. 

I also told a pizza faced bitch she had herpies.....she might have cried...but that led me to believe my statement was true
 
oh yea i remember one really funny one

one time at school in the middle of 2 classes there was a people jam at a door way and my friend was right in front of me and i yelled stop clogging the fucking door you fatass. well anyway the guy SHANE. that has posted in this thread has a super fat sister and she was in the door way when i yelled that.

she wasnt happy
 
Me:Hows your day been

Her:Pretty shitty, it has been going terrible how about you

Me:My day just got better

Her:why

Me:Because you are having a bad day and I fucking hate you.
 
well over the course of about 5 minutes i told this one girl she:
was dumb
anorexhic
bulimic
needed to kill herself
has herpes
i hope she dies
shut the fuck up
who would fuck you?
yea... your amazingly ugly
(in referance to her ex boyfriend, thiss is all tru btw)
he only dated you cause he was on meth,
he was desperate
he was short

and shes gonna die from smoking

yea she started crying, i dont feel bad at all
 
Your one of those kids that I would have no regret in beating the living shit out of. I hope you burn in hell for being such a dick.
 
When i was younger i had some things said to me, but i haven't had anything besides a joke been said to me except fer my ex who wrote me a poem and called me a pro ho witch made me laugh because he just needed a word to rhyme with though and so, he later apologized for the insult because i am far from a pro ho some day ha the boys will be pro bros to me so ha just playin
 
Oh lord. It is fate that I come on here wasted after throwing up and should be in bed.....where do the stories begin.

So this one time I was at a friends house. Only about 12 kids drinking (summer session), these girls came over that we don't know accompanied by a distant friend. Anyway, night progresses....I turn on my drunk mack talk, which is hilarious in itself. It consists of lines like: "So whats up, you're cute." and "I'll show you mine if you show me yours". So this girl told me she was 18 (i know you already see where that is going...), my buddy wanted to hook up with her friend. So being the nice guy I am, I take the lesser attractive of the two and ask her to blow me on the fence in the backyard where the get together is taking place. It really was a legitimate offer, the backyard was a beautiful setting minus the pong game in progress. After refusal, we headed to a room and got comfortable. When the time was right, I decided it was time to finish up this drunken act of impulses. I take off her pants and her special place is not shaved. GEW! I mentioned that she should take care of that shit because it looked like a dead rat. Well as I'm about to stick my face into this mountain of muff and warm her up for insertion, I smell the worst pussy I have ever ran into (a large feat). Due to the excessive amount of alchohol consumed, I couldn't refrain from expressing my disgust and got dressed. Upon exiting the room, a few of my friends who weren't blessed with the opportunity to engage in wreckless unprotected sex asked me if I finished the job. I informed them that the world's most unattractive pussy was in said room and offered them a go at it. What I failed to realize was the level of my voice which was heard in the room of my mid-stroke buddy. Rat Puss's friend proceeded to seize sexual intercourse with my friend and came out to scream at me. My friend pulled me aside and gave me the look of letting your boy down. I informed him that this pussy was beyond the limitations of my wingman capabilities. Meanwhile, Rat Puss herself had dressed herself and was extremely angry at yours truely. After a few words were exchanged, she informed me that she would be pressing charges on me for fooling around with an underaged girl. Realizing she had no idea who I was, I kicked her ass out of the house. I questioned the kid who brought them there and found out that they would never be around again. Overall, the night ended well. My buddy forgave me and we continued out Lewis & Clark conquest through Boulder that summer.

Far from the worst, but definately a memborable experience. I certainly hope you enjoyed my story. More tales will be told at a future date. However, it's 3am, I'm drunk, and have class tomorrow. Sleepy time for old Mercer.
 
One time i was talking to this girl online or phone or somethin and she told me her parents were gone and asked me if i wanted to come over, but (to quote a commercial) I told her that my mom was making baked potatoes that night.
 
Your breath smells like seamen, You know, every minute you spend in class is one more minute you can have some random guys man juices on your face. You really should not leave your street corner unattended.
 
Too my gf just after we broke up "Ur best mates even better anyway and shes better at sex too.....Ohhh shit...Fuck...G2G thanks bye" Didnt go down too well.
 
well as of recent, i've been sleeping with a few girls regularly, no girlfriend bull shit, just fuck buddies, well one of them has been trying her best to try to wife me, fuck no, so about a day ago i straight up told her that she wasn't the only girl i was fucking, that she's a moron for not noticing the hickey on my neck (i don't have long hair and i wasn't wearing a polo or anything) and that as far as sex goes, she wasn't my #1 priority.
 
One time I was on a bus in France, and I was sitting with this girl. We were cuddling, and there was a chance I would get to hook up with her and stuff. Anyway, she fell asleep, and I thought, wow what an opportunity. So I took some of her makeup, and drew a mustache, glasses, and a bunch of pirate shit all over her face. When she woke up, she didnt notice. Then she saw people giggling at her. She looked in the mirror. Then looked at me. Then started punching me furiously. She had grabbed me by my hair and starting throwing nasty punches my way, and being in the corner of a bus, I couldnt do anything but just take it. It was a beatdown. But so worth it.

haha
 
o man i have somany.. me and my gf get in to horiable fights all the time cuz shes wicked bipolar or jsut plain crazy.. but heres one form yesterday... she was being a super bitch and pissing me off and yelling and if she dosent get her way then she flipps shit so i couldent take it anymore and told her to leave my house and she wouldent leave after i asked her liek 50 times.. then i yelled it to her telling hter to leave u fucking bitch and so on, and she keeped sitting on my porch and shes liek "well call the cops than to get me to leave" wich is such a 7 year old thing to say but she was really serious and i was liek "u dumbass if the cops come u will be taken to jail because yesterday you were gonna be put in jail for 3 months and soem how u got out, if u get anymore fuckups wich probaly will happen ur gonna be locked away for months" (this was actualy true.) and then she started crying and then i said "o ur crying now, ur really tough shit arnt you" that got her to laeave. i feel really bad for makin her cry o well. o yea and i told her she dosent have a land line for the phone cuz her mom is poor. wich is true.
 
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Way to almost be a good wingman..
 
lol dammit your in grade 9 now, i feel so old you yuggin

ive said some stupid stuff but its all been played already in this thread " your fat", "your ugly"

i can remember a few things ive said

i told my gf that she had chewbacka hair(doesnt make sense) and she lost it

i called my gf the wrong name as we were making out and she lost it

I usually proceed to slurring shit like ill bang you like a hammer or im putting on my robe and wizard hat

i try to convince her that shes gonna have a threesome with me and that her butt isnt safe, im joking around

 
My senior year I was editor-in-chief of yearbook and I was super pissed that day for some reason. So one of my staff who was a little sophomore was just sitting on this kids lap and pretty much just eating his face out in the classroom of about 20 or so people. So me being pissed anyway I tell her..."Liz, stop sucking Jake's face, you fucking cunt. Either build the freshman pages or get the fuck out and start sucking dick since it seems to be the only fucking thing you're good at. Jake? Blake? Davis? Would you please go assist Liz with the dick sucking?" Everyone did their work from then on. BTW she was fucking all three of those guys anyway, though I seemed to be only one of the few in the world that knew.
 
Well, I'm drunk again and feel like telling a tale.

So I had a girl that one might consider a girlfriend, I considered her a consistent fuck. After all, I only had known her for about two months. She had kissed many of my friends and I had kissed many of hers, but we saved the fucking for each other. Well one night we had a fight, first one that I remember. The night was setup for a pregame in our hall and a trip to a local frat party. Being angry, I went to the dance floor and started grinding on as many girls as I could. After realizing there were a few familar faces in the sidelines giving me looks of temptation, I grabbed a girl who I had known for a while. I told her to dance with me and pointed out the various girls I had sex with eyeing me. She was having a blast watching them, apparently I was a hot topic at the time. Lord knows those women had me confused with a good looking kid. Anyway, so the girl who I had the fight with that night sees me grinding on this nice piece and decides she is going to make me jealous. She walks over to my friend and begins making out with him. I see her leave the party with him (he has a small dick, i wasn't too concerned with it). I decide that if she's going to act like that, I will as well. So as I leave the party I grab some random girl that is leaving the party. A few drunken lines and slices of pizza, we end up at my room. Fooling around with this girl, I think its a great idea to film her giving me a blow job. She's down so the blow job transpires. I can't cum to blow jobs, so it's time for some fucking to go down. As I begin to warm her up with my fingers, she squirts on my wrist. This is my first squirter ever, in fact I didn't even know they existed. I was thinking, "where the fuck is the warning label on that?" I ask her if she just cam, she replies that she has not. I ask her if she just pissed on me and the night takes a turn for the worst. She punches me in the chest and I start laughing. This angers her even more and she spits out some lines to bring down my manhood. I reply with a polite, "I think its time for you to go." Angered with my level-headedness, she see my bran new laptop on the desk. She grabs my laptop and throws it on the floor. Now, I'm pissed. I just bought that thing and can't believe her actions. Butt naked, I pick her up and carry her to my door. I open the door with her in one arm and throw her out into the hall. She's completely naked. She begins to yell at me and claims that I abused her. The members of my hallway pop their heads out fo their doors and begin to witness the horror that is taking place. Meanwhile, I am bleeding from my nose in my room. She caught me with a clean right hook to the nose in the frenzy. As I am grabbing her clothes, I notice how much blood is coming out of my nose and blow my nose in her clothes. It was a very rewarding feeling. Afterward, I opened the door and threw the clothes at her naked body. I tell her to get dressed and leave me alone. A few of my neighbors ask me what is going on and I mention that she has gone crazy and not to worry about it. She begins to throw a fit about the video of her sucking my dick and demands that I had it over immediately. I tell her that this isn't going to happen, as I have other important shit on the tape (previous girlfriend's videos). Angered, she begins to hit me again. I let her take the blows on me and point out her insanity to the other gentlemen in the hall. One kid pulls her off of me and I shut the door. I call the police and ask them what I should do. They recommend that I record over the video, I do as told. The morning has come and the word has spread about the events that had transpired the ngiht before. Turns out my girl had only walked back with my friend and went to bed. She wasn't to thrilled to here about my actions and see that scratch marks on my arm. I tell her I thought she fucked my friend zach the only night so it was far game. We continued to date until she moved to california after the semester. We still talk and plan to continue the relationship at a later date, after all it was great sex and we clicked. However, everytime we'd fuck she would look at the scars on my bicep and it would remind her of that night. The scars have faded now, she just got implants and I plan to rail her before the summer is over.

I guess this is a story about me being mean to two women. One who punched me in the face and the other who tried to hurt my feelings. Overall, I should've just went home, but that's life boys. It was one of the most interesting nights of my life with the opposite sex. Sex is fun, but cops style domestic abuse is even better. What a redneck scene that was.

Yours truly,

Mercer
 
Only two questions....

1. How is it you know your friend is sporting mini bones??

2. How are those fake boobies treating you?
 
Well he has mentioned it several times. He says it the only reason girls let them fuck them up the ass. Girls he has slept with have confirmed.

Haven't played with the fake boobies yet, but i'm excited. They look nice. Full B's to Fulls C's. Presonally, I thought she was beautiful before, but her mom is in the field. Whatever makes her happy.
 
Working in a really gay neighborhood one girl asked me to wait for her so I could walk her to her car and I didnt just say no i said that even if the neighborhood wasnt full of gays no one would try to fuck you and another time she asked the same thing and that time i said sure cause if anyone attacks us I can use your fat ugly ass as a shield. and no i didnt get in trouble because most everyone called her worse things and she would cry whenever it got hectic

There are way worse things said while drunk but i cant say for sure what they were because I cant remember and they were heard second hand
 
haha not me but but this saturday me and my boys crashed this party full of the most ridiculously slutty girls ever, they were all talking and we were all pretty hammered after stealing all of their liquor, my friend interuppts their conversation which is literally about big dicks, giving head for 20 sacks and waking up with jizz on their faces. literally. he interrupts with "HEY RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU HAVE HERPES!" but the thing is that one girl might (no ones really sure) but this other girl is full on confirmed to have herpes, she breaks out sometimes. its fucking gross. she just kinda looked at the ground and frowned. i felt bad for her so i raised my hand and said "i do, whats the big fucking deal"

one girl pissed me off a lot and i was really sick of her trying to hang out with me and shit so i believe i said "youre a fucking piece of worthless trash, it honestly wouldnt phase me if i never talked to you again, in fact it would make me happy to never see you or talk to you again. you are a slut. people will stop fucking you soon, after your lovehandles get even bigger." that was pretty cold i thought.

and one girl knocked over a full beruit table not once but twice and the string of obscenitys that came out of my mouth towards her was far too long to be repeated.

 
new one

her- please dont break up with me. i love you so much

me-you dont have the capacity to love you slut.

shit.
 
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