Wanna hear a couple jokes?

trippysheep

trippysheep

Member
how do you become a millionaire in Aspen?

start off as a billionaire

How does a snowboarder first introduce himself?

sorry bro
 
Lol at the first one. Second one isn't funny at all unless you're telling it to some crotchety old man, he might think it's funny.
 
dinosaurj.png
 
how did the blonde chick break her legs raking the leaves??

she fell out the tree. anyone fancy some bum love PM me (massive homo). JMAP.
 
A girl was getting her weekly grocerys for the week when she finally reaches the till. The cashier puts through her order as usual but notices a few items which stand out. "You're single arn't you" he says, "yes" she replies, "how did you know?"

"You're fucking ugly" he replies.
 
Why was the blonde painter wearing two winter jackets?

The paint can said "For best results, put on two coats."

 
what did the leper say to the prostitute?

keep the tip.

what do you get if you put a baby in the microwave?

i don't know i was too busy masturbating.

happy holidays everybody!
 
what's long, thin and green and smells like pork?
kermit the frog's fingers

whats the difference between a baby and a freezer?
you can stick your meat in a freezer and it wont cry

what did one paedophile say to the other?
ill swap you two 5s for a 10
 
why do you put the baby in the blender feet first?
so you can stare into its eyes will you masturbate
 
whats the difference between a ferrari and a garbage can filled with dead babies?
i dont have a ferrari in my garage
 
ok i know one joke.

there's a mollusk, see, and he walks up to a sea..... well he doesn't walk up, he swims up... well actually the mollusk isn't moving. he's in one place, and then the sea cucumber.. well they.. ok im mixed up. there was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. none of them were walking so forget that i said that

(interruption, attention is diverted elsewhere. end attempt at lame joke)
 
What worse them ten babies nailed to one tree?

One baby nailed to ten trees.

How many babies does it take to paint a barn?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

 
What's 12 inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night?Crib death.

How do you make a mime yell? Throw a brick at his face.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Burning to death.
A baby seal walks into a club.
 
So a guy is walking along the beach and sees a woman with no arms and no legs lying there in the sand next to the ocean, crying. He walks up to her and asks, "Whats wrong?" She says, "I've never been fucked before".
So he picks her up and throws her in.
How is Obama like Simba?
One's an African lion, one's a lyin African.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top