The best gaper quotes

hahahahahahaha thats fucking hilarious!! this thread kicks ass
i love skiing switch down the easy slopes so all the gapers can freak out...so funny
 
As far as I can tell, this thread is for quotes, not to beak gapers. And the "Skiing is fun" quote, is a quote. I don't think that it was posted because they wanted to make fun of it, cause we all know skiing is in fact, fun. In my opinion, this is one of the best quotes on here, since it means that a gaper is stoked on skiing, and is going to help support the industry.
 
haha my friends dad was all like i used to get like 10 seconds of air off moguls when i was a kid , i was almost as high up as the whole hill , and i had the best inverted helicopter in my school

 
racer team(my parents and brother are realy big into racing): "Do you think you look cool in your baggy jacket and snowpants?" Me: "Do you think you look cool with your skin tight speed suits and tight jackets+snowpants?" them: "yes, actually we do." me: .... then left
 
Not really a quote but saw a guy skiing in a pair of Roxy boots, I found it quite funny, he was none the wiser
 
Denver Airport, yesterday

Gaper: Hey man you in some kinda hockey tournament?

Me: umm no sorry, not that i know of

Gaper:Cause I seen a whole heaps of your guys with those long bags, (points to ski bag)

Me: nar mate their skis,(trying not to cringe/laugh too hard)

 
i know theres been alot of skepticism about how true these quotes have been but i promise this is true

here we have snowboard gaper and twintip ski gaper

ski gaper: "There's no such thing as a twin tip snowboard"

snbrd :" No this is definitiely twin tipped because it doesn't have rocker technology."

they then proceed to hike up the mini park
 
2 quotes from ex racer brother.

1: "wow i got such bad afterbang on that jump!!!" talking about pain from casing 6 foot jump i laughed so hard

2: Me:"hey brad want to go in the park?

Brother: "No were at a mountain lets actualy ski some groomers!"

Me: "so you quit racing just to carve more groomers?"

Brother:"No i dont carve anymore."

btw he has a pair of dynastar serial troubles so hes got a park ski
 
I was getting my skis out of the car and a guy walks up to me and says "do you have those double tips so you can go back up the hill to?" He then laughed and walked away.
 
I've been working in a hire shop for the last few days....get so many gaper's in it's incredible.
A oldish guy asked me, "What's it called when the skiers do all the jumps?" "Freestyle skiing??" I said "Oh, so not hotdogging?" "Errr it, was called that like 30 years ago" " So i'm right it IS called hotdogging!!" "Well....no...."
Then he ran to his son and said that he was right about it being called hotdogging.

LAWL

 
I was skiing down and jumped over a slow sighn and a patroll oficer got sooooo pissed and came over to me and said " Do you know why I am talking to you?" I said " I was going wayyyy yo fast" And he says That and u jumped without a spotter!

 
i have legitimately seen a man with his ski boots on the wrong feet, i a,so love when kids on the lfit yell to do a backflip. One thing i notice and maybe other people do is that a gaper who doesnt know tricks thinks everything is a misty? a rodeo-"omg did you see that misty?"
 
this isnt me but its my friend.

friend is putting on his hotdogger's (this years)

Gaper: why do u have really old boots?

friend: i just got the a week ago

gaper: why are they red?

friend: because full tilt decided to make thier hot doggers red this year.

gaper: whats a full tilt and whats a hot dogger?

friend: they are my boots.

convo continued for 5 mins about my friends skis and stuff. it was insane
 
ya i skid switch buy a bunch of kids with a ski instructer and i heard one say "i wanna be that good some day"
 
haha at my hill everyone says was that a flatspin?? instead or rodeo, like i did a cork 5 and someone said

(in french) "beau flat 5"
 
ok so my parents were comming through the park so i could show them the fives that i just learned how to do. after i fived a kid went and did a rodeo so i knew i was going to get some stuff to put on this thread from them

mom: holy cow did you see that helicopter

dad: wow thats amazing i bet he will be in the olypics some day

mom: wow thats incredibly and i just landed and rode down like it wasnt even a good trick.

dad: i know

mom: his friends arnt even congradulating him!!!

the whole car ride home went like this
 
haha i was at Steamboat on the lift with my chronics and some southern Snowboard guy goes "those skis are so crazy, they must spin like a top on those pipes and boxes

me:yea

gaper:so whats the point of the rears being all curled up

me: haha it makes it easier to shank people in my way while im going backwards.

gaper:noway. have you ever shanked anyone.

me: only people that go really slow down the mountain

gaper: oh. your not going to shank me.

me: (i stare at him then just look up the hill)

he seems like he's getting nervous, and at the top of the lift he tries to get off quickly then looks back at me and falls over
 
I was talking to this boarder chick from school, and she referred to groomed snow as corduroy snow. I never heard that term, maybe its just me.
 
facepalm-tree.jpg
 
My mountain was swarming with jersey gapers this week. Also had an Atomic Demo day.

Gaper- I love these skis (Points to next year's Punx on his feet). They make me tons higher when I hit that jump (points to a 5 foot table top)

Me- *facepalm*

Another gaper had a pair of Snoops on and proceeded to double-eject while waiting in the lift line.
 
I forgot about this one.

A month or so ago my friend and I are on the lift. There is a kid below us who shouts to his friend "watch me get BIG AIR!" He lines himself up for a shitty little foot tall lip that sends you 5 feet, max. He's still riding up the lip when both of his skis pre-release. He gets tossed and were laughing like hell
 
This guy's gotta be like 56 or something... greying beard and hair... and he smells like motor oil. Came into my work one day and I almost busted up the whole time i was talking to him. Had a normal american accent so he was def not french.

Him "Yeah, I'm a skiing instructor. I've worked at Val'd'isere before in France."

Me: "Really? That's cool.."

Him: "yeah... but I teach on snowblades because they're a lot better"

Me: "Better? How?"

Him: "let me put it this way, I was running the downhill course there when they were having an international race, and I was passing up racers. Theyre way easier to control"

Me: "Really.. how did you get into the race on snowblades?"

Him: "I didnt, I snuck in"

Me: "isnt that dangerous? those guys are going upwards 80mph"

Him: "no way! they couldnt be going more than MAYBE 55 or 60"

Me: "in a downhill race? Are you sure dude? I could see guys doing no more than that in the GS or SuperG, but The downhill at VDI is pretty steep in some sections. Easily puts even the girls over 80mph."

Him: "have you ever been to val'd'isere"

Me: "no, but.."

Him: "then you dont know what the hell you're talking about do you?"

Me: "weelllll I guess I dont. However, I'm still skeptical"

Him: "pff.."

Him: "So what do you think about these bindings?" (grabs the marker duke, and starts messing with it)

Me: "well, it's probably the best AT binding for actually doing alpine skiing with - seeing as it was developed as an alpine binding before they developed it for AT"

Him: "Doesnt 16 seem a little ridiculous for a binding? and, man these are heavy. I'd never ski with these"

Me: "well, I ride my bindings at 11 or 12 usually - and really they arent that heavy in comparison to race bindings"

Him:"ELEVEN OR 12? and you havent blown your knee?!"

Me: "actually I have, but that was when I was 17, and my binding was set on 8 or 9 at the time, anyway."

Him: "Why would you do that to yourself?"

Me: "Because I want the skis to stay on when I hit jumps, or huck things?"

Him: "huck? What do you mean by huck.."

By now I couldnt help it anymore and just busted up laughing... i couldnt help it anymore.
 
ok, so I was at a non-public demo day (shop employees and guests only) and this snowboarder with a big yellow spiky helmet cover walks up to me and the conversation went like this.

him "hey, is monster coming to this event"

me "do you mean the demo?"

him "yeah, I want to try one of their snowboards"

me "monster doesn't make snowboards"

him "yeah they do, I see them all the time"

me "those are just other snowboards with monster stickers on them, I'm going over here to demo another pair of skis"

then he followed me around at a creepishly close distance like we were best friends or something for like 3 minutes untill I said specifically

"get the fuck away from me you creepy bastard!"

he didn't follow me any more.
 
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