The best gaper quotes

right before I get on the lift with some random guy:
"Those are some swift skis ya got there."
He then went on telling me how he and his friend Pete were building a frog pond and trampoline in his backyard.
 
my brother rides on k2 big stix and the lift operator asks him when he is getting on the lift "big hands?big sticks?"

the guy definitely was referencing to penises
 
not exactly a quote, but my family has got to be up there with some great gaper status. first off, most of my dad's side of the family is from switzerland many generations back, like right smack dab in the fucking alps. my mom's family is from Iran near the biggest mountain in Iran and a huge mountain right in the back yard. so my family was born on skis right? my grandparents on my dad's side went cross country skiing and both ended up in the emergency room within a half hour. my dad went skiing once when he was a kid, but his parents refused to take him after his sister fell off the chairlift and got a concussion. my mom went skiing once but her brother fell and broke his arm and they never went again. none of my cousins, grandparents uncles or aunts have been skiing more than once and most have never been at all. my dad suited up in jeans and starter jacket and sunglasses, went skiing maybe 3 times in 40 years and my mom hasnt gone more than 5 times since she was a kid. my dad wouldnt go at all even now unless i drag him out there every winter. so, that just lives me and my swiss ancestors haha....
sparknotes: swiss heritage and family that lived next to huge mountains completely fail at skiing and are huge gapers.. except me
 
Some gaper today, with his maybe 6 year old, told me today was a great day to ski. it was 50 degrees and the snow was total shit. i just stared at him mouth agape
 
i love this thread

haha a snowboarder kid the other day with the classic "how do they build those moguls?"

and then a old gaper dude on the chair lift says "i need to get me some of those fat skis" looking at my 1080 thrusters
 
that reminds me, a few weeks ago i had my full blown race skis out, and i ride up with some old guy
him: i need to get some powder skis like those there you have
i pertend i didnt hear him as i turn down my music: what?
he repeats himself
me: ...
for the record, my race skis are 64 underfoot, i guess powder skis are mid 60 underfoor these days? wtf?
 
i was in the gondola at stratton and it was me my brother 4 gapers and 2 snow boarders( they had headphones on) and one old gaper says " wow they can get radio on the mountain now" and then she says to the snowboarder " did you see the video of people poaching non snowboarder resorts it was so rad". me and my brother just start laughing and then it was silent for then rest of the ride.
 
on the chairlift i usually stretch (i used to be super inflexible) but b/c of stretching pre season a lot I can reach for a truck now, so on the lift i usually stretch a truck / grab one of my skis at a time and hold it for a while.

so anyways... last week I was stretching on the lift, an then i started doing some screamin' seaman motions and grabs for the hell of it / stretching moar... an then when I got off the lift this old gaper who was on the lift behind me skis up to me and says 'I really enjoyed watching you stretch on the chairlift' it kinda creeped me out.
 
i was talking to my dad about what hes gonna do when he goes to utah with a bunch of his friends and he was like " yeah ill prolly do a gainer off of the diving board" btw the diving boards that cliff at alta that you see when your going up supreme
 
"Where'd you get all those stickers? You must be an expert"

For the record, I didnt put any of them on except one, I bought my skis from MarkieR, and they were on there already
 
I used to live in Tahoe. So one day I'm in tahoe city - dude comes up to me and asks where is the lake. I point across the street.
WTF
 
every time i whear my im a skier shirt to school i sware like five ppl come up to me and say "whats a skYer"

and this thread is awesome ive been laughing my ass off.
 
Hahaha i get tons of comments about my dumonts...

I was on the lift with this couple maybe late 40's early 50's and the lady asked me if they were the same ski and I said "no, but they are the same size", the guy said that must be hard to ski and i said no, not really. She said "did you paint them" I said "yea i mean, i took art class in like gr 7 so im quite deece." she then said well thats different maybe i should try it, then i said "maybe not" hahah it was so funny

also i was in the park and some kids came through the rail line going straight over the boxes and they get to the bottom and the one kid says "man do you wanna hike the park" the other kid said "no man its too easy" then proceeded to 5050 another rail and ski off. haha
 
hahahahaha, being from tahoe makes that 1000000 times funnier
at northstar yesterday:gaper: youre going backwards!!!!!me:i have twin tips, they wont dig ingaper:but then youre still going backwards!
 
Well I’m giving lessons in the morning and teaching normal skiers normal skiing, like how to carve turns… One thing that is so stupid and I have to tell some of the “students” each year, are pants don’t go in the boots. They always com to me in the morning complaining over how much there shin is killing them, and that there is something wrong with boots. Then I very politely tell then that stuffing your skipants in to the boots and wearing normal tube socks (that has fallen a bit down) is like a stupid idea.

On an other note my friends and I always have this little ongoing competition on finding the lamest ski suit of the day. It is cool to se people still rocking 80’s style one piece suits with nice belts and those super lame belt bags – Maybe a suit in a nice bluish colour with yellow knees.
 
i was looking at that picture and my mom came up behind me and asked me if those were my skis lol. adn i have line invaders
 
k, i was riding up w this gaper from breck,

this is wat he said, "i skied 4 the first time in breck. i was a natural. the first time i went down the step down ramp (lift unloading ramp), i tried to do a fork turn (wedge), but ate bits on this big embankment... on the 4th try though i got it."

this guy was like 35 or something.
 
So my ski team misses school every monday for races and we have to be at school super early to get on the bus to get up there and i walk on with my ski pants (baggy) tall tee (huge) and beanie (slouch) and the old lady driver starts asking me if i know its the ski bus and if i knew the snowboard bus was behind us and just going on and on about how i dont look like i ski. it was hillarious at the time because she made us wait to leave because she was talking to me about it
 
"How do you activate the brakes on these things" or "How do you change gears" are the funniest things I've been asked by a gaper so far.
 
I got a new one:
I was on the chair with this 35 year old woman and her husband both on rentals with there jeans tucked in to there boots. The wife leans over a says "Those are some pretty spiffy skis where did you rent those?" I say "I own them" "Oh so you mean they let you keep them?!?"
And one more:
I was on a chair with an older lady she looks at my 07 line invaders and says "your skis have dead people on them" And gives me a very disapproving glance.
 
little kid to his dad: i think i should try one of those sliding tubes

he proceeded to ski off the lip for the rail, not even leave the ground, then fall.

and people here in PA act like they have never seen skis wider than 65 under foot. i skied on my rossignol brigades (98mm) three days so far and have had people comment on them at least 20 times
 
i was really hoping you were going to say they were about to ski over to the alpine slides on wagner. my brother did that like 5 years ago.
 
i do that everytime im at the springs for tradition, it started long ago when i first started to go to 7. accidently went over them and got stuck, so now its my job every year to have my gaper brother film me going over those.
 
does tanner hall have a pro model... but i gess its not really i gaper qoute because ive been skiing with the kid for 4 years
 
haha i ride a pair of 07 rossi scratch WRS, the candide ones that look like theyre burnt and a gaper asked me if my skis had caught on fire....

i continues to tell him that my garage caught on fire and i ran in to save my skis...and a kitten along the way
 
I have seen a ton of older people on the k2 extreme this year, more than any other years combined.
 
while im not doubting this man was a gaper, some companies have started intentionally twining a bunch of beginner skis because it does help you initiate edge transfers, its prolly what a shop guy told this man
 
I ski into the park and for refference I have Line Invaders. These two immature 12 year olds are waiting and say nice skis! (They have lines too) I'm like thanks. So I hit one of the small jumps switch 180 it, and then ski slide some midget box. Then these two girls come down the first one spread eagles this really small jump and her mom is at the bottom of the jump cheering and flipping out. Then her friend comes in and just fails on the jump. I laughed my ass off. They then skiied down the hill and told me i'm really good. I friggin 1ed and ski slide a box. I have no clue why they had Line's to begin with. They had the gaper gap too!
 
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