The best gaper quotes

for me everyone asks if you can do a 360, especially younger kids with twins.

its like once they can do a three, they can put in a sponsockoskdoer vid
 
I did a 5 off a roller beside the ski school at my hill and they all freaked out.

A buddy of mine (I know, I'm ashamed) has the full orage TJ schiller suit from last year, and we were talking about what companies made our gear. He comes out of nowhere and is like "my coat is made by some guy named TJ schiller".

I told a guy I hit a 50 footer and he asked me if I was pro.

A kid at my school didn't believe me when I told him I could get out of COPs superpipe.

A CSIA guy who was teaching me the park and pipe stuff so I could get certified for park and pipe freaked out when I started the run in for a 30 footer and told me to slow down by saying "woah". Huge 180 to case. He gets down to the bottom of the tranny and is like "WTF!!! WOAH MEANS STOP."

A kid at my school thinks backseat 3s are "steezy".

On my school ski day I did a switch 3 off a roller and a couple kids freaked out, couldn't believe it.

A kid's ski popped off a bunch and I told him to turn his DIN up. Another kid I was skiing with asked me why you needed DIN if you weren't skiing park.

A kid on my ski team got boots that were like.... 2 sizes too big for him, so he could grow into them.

A skier on the chairlift accused my cousin who snowboards of pushing all the snow to the side of the run and making it icy, just because he was a snowboarder.

A kid at my school thought he saw sammy carlson at sunshine learning to do lincolns.

I've heard of the superpipe being called a jump ditch.

A race coach on my ski team was impressed by an old school train, but I give her credit because she's like.... 55 and she learned 3s this year.
 
racer:so do you ski park?

me:ya

racer:do you do those flex spins?

me:you mean butter spins?

racer: no the ones where you flex your skis and then spin off a hill
 
hahahahaha yes!!! when i got mine i was with my gaper friend. first thing he says is-
"dude, how do you know which way is forward??? and how can you ski without bindings??!!!!"
not lying
 
Im looking around on NS and my dad looks at this one urban pic (via Heff) and my dad goes, skiers.... on grass... other people think like you.
 
i was riding the lift with a couple gaper snowboarders and below the lift is a guy teeching his daughter how to ski, so the one kid says "good way to make moguls" the other kids laugh and i laugh as whell but more at them, so then they see a pole on the ground and one says to the other

"we should take that pole and go ski boarding"

"whats that?"

"its when you snowboard with poles, ive done it alot, a few companies wanted me on there teems but i turned them down"

"o cool"
 
last week we had some guy here in the company. He will probably build some crazy xtreme sports dome or sthg. in moscow and abu dhabi and what not, but has absolutely no clue about any of those sports, he wants to promote there. We had to make the presentation for him and he was like jea, I want this one sport were all those crazy guys jump off cliffs and over jumps with skis ... I dont know how it is called - lets call it X ... skiing or xtremeskiing ... just something with X - people like that.

I hid behind my monitor and was couldnt believe what I just heard
 
Some skin head snowboarder was sitting right below the knuckle of the last jump in the big bear open and during parctice i was working on sweitch leftsides so naturally i had less control anyways i proceed to train not knowing of the idiot in the landing. Took off and instantly freaked out and started to flail like a dying pigeon only to tap his board. That dumbass tried to fight me like you idiot, look in the landing before you hit the jump... i was like you know what man were both fine and im sorry, shook his hand and skied away. Moral of the story is skinheads have aids.
 
During the ussa junior comp @ the canyons (in painted horse)...

ok its during the second run, and all of a sudden thes two spanish speaking snowboard skinheads came, ducked the rope to the top of the course, and used me and my buddy as start poles(correct term?) like those things snowboarders push off of to start a comp run... so this is while one of my other friends is on course.... anyway, the guy gaper goes and sits i nfront of the first box( a tiny box) while his gf goes and totally takes out the jump to the c-box... all the while we're goin: GET OFF THE COURSE, THIS IS A CLOSED COMP!! and the gf turns around and screams: FUCK U!!! FUCKU FUCK U FUCK U!!!! so they keep going, and the bf wont move from the knuckle of the first jump... the gf tries it, and eats fucking shit...... we had to get the all of the judges to make them leave....

Rope means: dont go there.

Riding up the lift a gaper snowboarder looks at the jumps in the park and says: i thought u werent supposed to go over the moguls...
 
i know it s pretty much been said but

you ski

me:yea

o i though ud snowboard

me:no i ski

(they act supprised)

me: im a cool skier

what kind of skis do u use

me:(after a lond prossess i allways break down) ya know trick skis

o well can you back flip

me:yes

(acting supprised once again)
 
haha when me and my friend were getting on the lift, the gayper in front of us dug his tip into the ground and his ski fell off so we brought it up. we put the heel down and i wanted to fuck with the adjustmant because our rental shit is,well, shit and all you have to do is push a little plastic lever with like ur pinky to make it move but i didnt cuz that a little too far. well at the top it took the kid like 5 minutes to figure out that the heel was down. we just watched him laughing
 
i was riding with a buncha good kids at the local mtn.

my dad rides up looking wicked gay and goes nice helocopter it looked steeze.

shorty after that i ended mylife
 
hahahhahahahahah.

'im a cool skier.'

that was glorious.

not that funny but one time in alyeska there was this lady who had all this fancy gear and stuff like brand new skis and boots and helmet and a full zebra print outfit and she had her goggles on upside down.
 
I was walking to the lift up at timberline this summer, a groupe of people from texas or something stop me and asked me a ton of questions, the best one was..

gaper: so where is the elevator to the top of the mountain

me: you mean the chairlift to the snow field

gaper: no the mettle box that goes to the very top

me: i start chugging water so i dont laugh in his face.

another was

gaper wife: when does the shinning tour start, the whole reason we road triped up here was to go on the shinning tour.

me: sorry there isnt one

g wife: but they shot the movie in this hotel

me: no they filmed the outside shots here, the rest of the shots were taken at a studio.

gaper husband: dont you correct my wife boy, the whole film was shot at this hotel.

me: im late for work i have to go, and i see them storm out of the hotel a minute later( i had to wait and see there reaction)
 
shit. i work at a play it again. that just makes us all look like gapers. bet hes the guy that says snowblades are for tricks. and btw its usually better to sell the stuff yourself
 
+ karma for info!

one time i was skiing from my lift to the drop in to the rail park a short distance away and i was buttering for the hell of it because i love soft skis and i love butters. there are 2 snowboarders down slope of me, the higher one being regular, the lower goofy. the one who is regular slowly moves down slope and connects with the other Xtreem boarder and their boards lock and they fall onto each other. when i say their boards lock i mean they basically looked like skis bases when youre looking at someone lying down when theyre clipped in.

heres the kicker, i stop and say whoa you guys alright?

reg boarder: it was the skiers fault!

me and friends: what the fuck?! who the fuck do you think you are? that was your shit dumbass.

reg boarder: no you were doing all your sliding spins and i hit him because of it.

Pete (friend): fuck you kid go die

goofy boarder just gets up and rides away

reg boarder: oh my GOD! i need my other board back, this one is such shit. (rentals ftw)

 
Ok so its funny when people who know nothing and know they know nothing ask stupid questions. WHat really pisses me off is when people know nothing but act like thier expert.

Especially snowboarders and ski-bladers.

Snowboarder-"Hey man you're pretty good."

Me-"Yea"

Snowboarder-"You would be way better if you started snowboarding. You can get so much higher and spin a lot faster on a snowboard, they are meant to do tricks.

Ski blader-"I don't see how you do tricks on skis- these work way better. Me and all my friends used to ski but snowblading is way easier. Plus you can turn better in these."
 
hahahaa in gym today:

girl - wait, so skiiers are like... friends with other skiers?

me- yeah, i probably hang out with more kids who arent from our school than kids who go to our school

girl- wierdd... [walks away]

and another good one was on the hill last season-

gaper- dude, can you 720?

me- yeah..

other gaper- CAN YOU BACKFLIP?!

me- yeah...

other other gaper- well i bet you cant double cork 1080!

me- well everyone knows that you cant double cork a 1080, thats just physically impossible! its gotta be at least a 12...

other other gaper- shit, calm down mr x-games [skis off w. his friends]
 
not a quote but the other year a lady was next in line for the lift and she was standing to close to the lift and when the lift came around it hit her in the face and it broke her nose. Then the lift (main lift)was closed for half an hour so it was gay
 
"I'm gettin excited. maybe we'll see some 360's go down, or maybe even some 520s or 740s. It would be really sweet to see a 9 go down."

or something like that, from the meathead trailer
 
me and some friends were standing at the top of the park just waiting and this gayper lady and her kid were on the lift above us freaking out and asked us how to lift the safety bar up and get off the lift. no joke

 
so this kid at my boarding school (im the day student) from texas said he could through down bad ass helicopters and backscrachers
 
i have a friend who has been skiing for many years and still doesnt like skiing in powder.

it blows my mind every time he says it
 
gaper: the only good thing about snowboarding is that you can go in one of them terrain parks.

me: yea i know its wierd how skiers arent allowed in terrain parks....
 
Kid lands halfway across the 20 footer then falls. he then yells to friends on ski lift "Dude! look how far I got!!!"

not skiing, but I like to tell tourist on the river that the white rocks are actually petrified glacier pieces...
 
some kid skis up the quater pipe and sits down on the top. His dad starts cheering as he raises his hand in the air, as if he just stomped a sw 10 or someother sick trick. Made me laugh.
 
me to racing coach: why did you close the entrace to the park for race training?

coach: oh this part of the mountain gets the most sun.

me: the whole mountain face points south. the sun hits it all at once.

coach: well anyway its closed. hey why do you have such small poles?

me: they help me when i do helicopter backscratchers.

( ride away switch)
 
i was at fuckin deer valley(i have no fucking idea why), and decided to go to their terrain park (if u can call it that), cuz it was like a month of no new snow.... so anyway, a group of gapers come op to me and say, "ur prettey good" (reffering to my warm up run of straight airs...) "howd u like to join our comp?" I had nothing better to do, so i did it... i shit u not, off of the last "jump" ( a like 3 foot roller), i crank out a pencil 5, and they fucking start worshipping me.... one of them says, "omgomgomg wow, if u could backflip u'd be just like jonny moseley!!!!!one!!!"..... never went back to that park.. piece of shit.
 
Some lady and her son came into a store in Breck, and said

"I'm only coming in becasue i need to get my son out of the altitude"
 
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