The best gaper quotes

word

haha i love gapers they make my day

i love when you go just slay a rail then a gaper comes up and says your doing it wrong then they go try and fail majorly

then i laugh

 
i had a my local mtns shop mount my skis and he mounted them back wards and then he tride to convince me he did them the right way
 
me and my friend go on the lift and my friend decides to act stupid and yells down to the gapers on the hill things like "you dropped your pocket" and so he did this 3 times and each time the gaper would have a massive whipeout because for a moment i guess they believed him.

anyways.. me and my brother (when we were still gapers back in the day) finished building a small jump on a black diamond trail because we were bored, and we decided we didn't feel like hiking it for our first hit. so we go down to the lift to go back up so we could hit it. on the lift i look down and notice a distracted ski patrol guy on his snowmobile heading towards our freshly-formed jump. i alert my brother in anticipation. the ski patroller was unaware of our jump's existence and was distracted by something off in the distance. he approaches the jump as we watch him and he is taken by surprise and actually goes off the jump. he gets maybe 5-10 feet of air and almost flips over. our jump completely collapsed but it was well well worth it.
 
oh man i have soo many stupid ones, people just cant figure out why i ski in my yard,

me: yeah i like skiing in my yard

gaper: oh do you have a big hill

me: no, i just have a bunch of rails and stuff, you know

gaper: what are rails

i give them an explanation

gaper: oh so you snowboard

me: no i ski

gaper: skiers dont do that

and i just give up after a while, i mean what the fuck is it really that hard to understand
 
word i got the dumonts and people think i have 2 different skis it pisses me off when there in the park too
 
In ski dubai and the kickers are directly under the lift, so im going down and just before i hit it some gaper shouts " Doooo daaar heliiiicoptarrrrr" (say that out load and you will see how it sounded) i just burst out laughing and straight aired the damn thing, it was so funny.
 
ive heard that too, except "what's thall?"(pronounced the+all)

and of course everyones heard....

them: wat happened to your skis?

me: ......wat? where!

them: the backs, their broken

me: [politely] o, no they make them like that so you can ski switch[backwards]

them: thats weird
 
some little gaper: hey man what are u riding on?

me: oh these?? this year burton made these really skinny snowboards that u can ski on and u can go like forward and backwards!!

gaper: aw man no way!! how much were they?

me: like $500 and they're hard to find so u better find them soon if your gonna buy them

gaper: awsome!!! ....(to his other friend)i am so asking for them for christmas next year
 
there is a kid at my hill who was trying 540s on a small kick

I tought i should show him how to do it cuz he was always failing

I showed him one time, then he asked me how to land switch

i didn't know to explain this

whateve, he tried again and he land it

so happy, he gave me 10 bucks and skis away
 
not gaper but my family

almost as bad

haha

so im showing my family pictures of me jumping

aunt "is that your brother?"

me "no, thats me"

aunt "holy shit your in the air!"

me "yeah....."

aunt "look theres the trees"

me "wow."
 
all the instructors at my mountain are gapers they take the people in the lessons into the terrain park and they just stand on the top of the jumps and they r like
"o wow look at those jumps o wow" then they ski down and attempt the terrain park and fail miserably
not exactly a quote but its just a gaper even that happens everyday
 
gaper fuck: hey kid y are ur poles so short
me: cause i like them that way
gaper fuck: doesnt it make it harder to ski
me: no i do freestyle skiing
gaper fuck: whats that like racing and stuff
me: no like jumps and rails
gaper fuck: o so ur one of them trick skiers
me: ya sort of....
gaper fuck: can u do like backflips and stuff
me: ya....
gaper fuck: so is it like that snowboarding stuff but with just skies
me: sure i guess so..
gaper fuck: o ok well have fun...

hahaha
 
last year the worlds bigges noob!! this guy actualy knows stuff about skiing he idolises pro skiers. hes a little wierd so were skiing and he comes up to me and sais i want to try a 180 but im scared of getting hurt. so im like alright this is cool this guy wants to become good il help him out. I talk him into trying. and then he goes beside the jump and reverts a 180 all scared and then falls. i go see him ready to be like hey thats not where the jump is and hes like..... I landed it! lol this guy was special
 
me and friends were dickin around in the liftline and some gaper was like your poles are too short and I said no thats how long i like them. he then proceded to tell me how i should get longer polesto help my balance.

it was funny because he was acting all smart and was just giving me shit until he noticed all of use had short poles (mogul team) haha then he just was like why do you all have short poles, and chanced the subject to how my pants were too low
 
so the biggest fag in my grade ended up sitting next to me while in the computer lad for english. i finish up early and proceede to the next years gear preview on good old NS. It is a well known fact that i ski, in fact im the only freestyle skier in the skool and capitan of the race team, also i was wearing my head skis shirt and an armada hoodie at the time just to add to the fact that i was a skier....this is the conversation that insued..........

dbag:soo.....ur lookin at skis huh..?

me: ya im takin a look at next years shit

dbag: ya im a pretty good skier, i did a black diamond at vail

me: special?

awkward silence

dbag: those dont look like normal skis

for reference im looking at hellbents

me: ya their rockered twin tip pow skis ur never gonna see these in mn

dbag: what does that mean...do you mean pow-der skis?

me: yes they are for pow-der

dbag: ohhhh so why are they so wide?

me: becasue they are pow skis

dbag: wouldnt that make them worse?

me: now that makes them much better

dbag: no it dosent you want a long ski so you go faster so you can push through it

me: no you want a wide ski so you float so you dont sink in

dbag: but thats gonna make them slow, you need a long ski trust me the shorter it is the slower they are

me: first off, your a retard and have no fucking idea what your talking about. second, length dosent directly factor into speed. third, you need a wide ski so you have a greater surface area so you dont sink.

dbag: ok dont get angry i dont wanna argue phisics with you you cant float on powder. plus no one will buy those skis anyway the pictures and name arent family friendly no parent would ever buy those for kids

me(extreemly pissed): wtf u dumb cunt. not only do i not trust anything you say because your a fucking gaper, but ur in special fucking ed so anything you say related to phisics is usually wrong. Those graphics are tits, who gives a shit about how "family friendly" they are. So shut up you sack of shit, no one likes you, and your ugly........

.....have a nice day

dbag: hey you cant tal.....

me: you lose talking privliges shut the hell up

dbag: but you can...

me: what did i fucking tell you shut up

dbag: im tellin....

me: what part of no talking privliges do u not understand?

he shuts up for the rest of the hour
 
^^ he may have a point on the family friendly aspect though i was toild that's why k2 decided to shorten the public enemy to the pe, then just replace it with the extreme. i heard they were getting complaints from those sort of parents that are over-protective and afraid of the real world.
 
hes not retarded but not a lazy stoner...he kisses the teachers asses but hes just.....dumb thats the only good way to put it. he gets c's but like alot of super lazy people at our school they have the option of going down to the sped hallway if they feel the test is "too hard" and need extra help. its a messed up system but its our schools solution to no child left behind.
 
.......sad.....u realize no one buys theyre children hellbents right? Its all demographics....PEs are used buy a younger demographic than the hellbents. name one person that owns hellbents that is under the age of 16.
 
Word. Though when I got my Silencers, my mom just said the name suits me. I don't know how Public Enemy could be bad. Anything for parents to get pissy about.
 
i've got a couple

I ride up the chair with the craziest guy on our ski hill (we have a small one so most everyone knows each other)

He skis around on the first head mojos ever made, no hat, no poles, always wears his hood up and does 360's on the snow while flipping those stick thingys around (the ones that you hold two in ur hand a flip the other one around with them, have the frills at the end)

Anyway he sits down, has his psp on speaker so his music is blaring and it's like a remix of "material girl" but like satan screamer status-really freaky.

He also has those gloves w/out the fingers, i think i'm gonna get killed before i get to the top

2-im at the dinner table and a parents friend from NY is having dinner with us. We get to talking about me being a "crazy trick" skier and how i do "rails". The NY friend cannot figure out what the hell anyone is talking about and i try to explain to her for like 1/2 an hour what doing "rails" means. Even "sliding down a skinny piece of metal sideways" doesn't click for her. Eventually someone said-"oh, like Tony Hawk!" and i was like "yeah, but with skis" and she finally got it

 
that guy was hilarious. he said he wanted to pratice follow cams so he followed woody with an invisible camera in his hands! good times..
 
There was a bunch of rollers in the park, and my bud starts like buttering switch 3's off of all of them, and there was a pack of asian gapers at the top, and they start going "ooh, ahh, such fluidity and grace." I just laughed and proceeded to 180 to switch 180 the rolls.

Another time I was at the bottom of the mountain, stoked for 20 cms of new snow, and I hear some gapers unloading from their car and one says "apparantly it snowed 20 cms of fresh, so lets hope it's groomed!"
 
i instruck with park skis, everyfuckin person i teach with my AR6's will just stare in them

i call it tha "GAPER TRANCE EFFECT"

most freestyle skis have em

oh an one of my bosses calls me an my friends "one a them park guys"

an tha first day i was hired he said, are "you a park guy????", an i shot right back "no, i just really really like my pants this way. . . . . . . . .huge an saggin"
 
after i swirved off a jump because i was cut off. i confronted the 40 year old gaper and he told me that "the jumps are for everyone"
 
haha yea it reminds me of the countless familys that come into the park to look at all the amazing obstacles
 
true story right now

GAPER: you pretty good on those things (twintip skis)

ME: ya i'm ok

GAPER: you go backwards on um?

ME: yeah, i like to let the tails finish first down the mtn sometimes

GAPER wow i can't hardly go forwards safely most days

ME ya i know i have that problem too some days after lunch (beer)

GAPER how do you see when you're going down the hill like that man that's gotta be dangerous(switch)

ME it's awesome, my head pivots on my neck.

GAPER oh well that's true, most of the time i can't hardly tell the front from the back of you kids.
 
i was standing out side the lodge about to go and this 50 year old woman says to me "to bad it snowed so much last night, ive been having trouble going down the green runs!" i laughed and walked away
 
i have head jon olsson pro model from this year

i'm in the single line, and behind me there is an old 65 years old man.

He stares at my skis and he says:

Is that your sister??? HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Me: hahaha... no

He: CUZ SHE IS HOT! HAHAHAHAHA!

creepy
 
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