The best gaper quotes

do you always dress like that?no.Did you go to a ghetto themed party?no. well, then, why are you dressed like that?skiing.then they get this confused look...
 
if one could quote pretty much this entire thread, that would be a good one. Hopefully this has already been said though.
 
Not much of a gaper quote, more of a gaper action
So I was skiing alone and using the singles line for a mid-mountain lift to get into the park (the park was on the other side of the mountain, this lift went to the top). The line was on the outermost side of the lift, all the way to the left of the entrance. Next to the line was a steep incline full of powder. I overheard some kids talking about skiing past the line to cut right through. This was a saturday, and saturdays at my local mountain are a mob scene. No way was I gonna let them through. I overheard them talking about the park as well; they were going solely to watch. As one of them skid(skiid?) past, I put the grip of my pole to his shoulder and pushed him down the 3-foot drop through the powder. He proceeded to whine like a bitch about snow down his back (middle of winter, deal with it) and I got on the lift and proceeded to the park.Okay that sounds meaner than it actually was.
 
so last year i went skiing in april and it was the last day open so i post that as my facebook status and some kid comments:

kid: "is all the snow artifical?"

me: "artifical?? u mean man made, its still real, just formed differently"

kid: "ok? i guess, but didnt they have to turn on the shooters? all the snow has been gone for a month"

me: "its 70 degress today the snowguns cant make sno in that weather, and they stop making snow in febuary!"

kid: "then how is there still snow!? haha ur such a liar, i bet u didnt go skiing, u just want attention!"

me: *no response laughing like crazy*

 
Kid walks into our shop, looks up at the snowboards and exclaims "arrr cool skateboards".
Big Hawaiian guy was cruising around the same shop, asked about the swallow tail snowboard, I told him about it. The next thing the say says "hey my friend, you seem to know a lot about snowboards. Do I need special boots to go snowboarding. I was going to use these" he says as he points to his steel toe-capped leather work boots. sighhh.

Also had "how do they make moguls" the other day, they call them classics for a reason.
 
I was talking to my friend on the lift today and I said "the only thing i like about snowboarding is that you don't get shinbang". Some 45 year old snowboarder says "I can argue that my shins are scabbed through the snowpants from hitting my shins on rails." I then said "Oh thats what shin bang is" haha
 
gapper:so thoes are the those twin tips right?

me:sure are!

gapper:what are they for?

me:to do tricks land backwards

gapper: wait... you can go backwards?

me: haha yep

gapper:how do you get backwards?

me: um do a 180 (trying to say it as easy as possible!)

gapper: how do you get back forward?

me:.....

 
Gaper: wow what is are those skis made of?

Me (wearing abangs):wood

Gaper: (laughs withhis friends) those must be old and heavy mine are made of composite.

Me:ok good for you...

Gaper: did tou draw on them yourself

Me:no... And ther for park, the wood is for durability.

Gaper: i do park to (sais he in his ski-doo kit with parabolic skis)

Me: really

Later, he cuts me off on a rail and does the litle kicker on the side of it and falls...
 
was at my local park on saturday (snapped my ski). and i heard a kid and his dad talkin.
dad: did you go in the tube?kid: what?dad: oh umm they cal it a tunnel i think! you know (makes a curved hand movement)kid: ooooh ummmm. the halfpipe?dad: yeah!kid: no its to big.
(this was the mini halfpipe.) i though of this thread right away after hearing it.
 
My brothers friend who is a snowboarder and wears ll bean clothes.... "no guys snowboarding is so much harder. 180s are so much harder on a snowboard, so is a wirly bird and rails because you have only one! Trust me guys i know i skied til i was FIVE then switched bevause snowboarding is sooo much cooler." i didnt even know how to reply
 
My best friend who is a gaper over facebook "what the hell hes not pro?!?! (talking about tom wallisch in a video i showed her.) like what is with his clothes. Can he even ski with them so low??" i honestly called her and told her we couldnt be friends anymore.
 
Sorry i have one more. My dad "no why do you always hang out in the park. When you can shred up the moguls then i will consider you a good skier. I bet those skiers cant do moguls." me "dad i can" and i show him dumonts quarter pipe record because it was the quickest thing i could think to show him. Dad "no hes ok i guess since he can do that but still he cant do moguls. I can do moguls and helocopters. I was always the king of helicopters!!!" me "cool". You might not find this funny but i thought it was hilarious
 
He's kinda right about the moguls thing. There is definitely an art to them, but whether or not you can ski them doesn't make you good or bad though haha.
 
This is awkward because this is a quote from a NS member, but he's newer to freeskiing and I've handled most of his gear related stuff up until this point. We were at the shop looking at skis, he's talking about how the afterbangs are probably bomb proof because of the skate deck construction. I told him they're not that burly and I've heard of some people breaking them. Then he yells "BUT THEY'RE MADE LIKE A SKATEBOARD!!!"
 
So i was on the lift with my gaper friend and hes asked me why i wear big shirts and hoodies and i told him because they keed yo legs warm And he asked how so i told him cuz im a champ
 
These might sound like BS, but you have to remember, I ski in North Carolina.
"Be sure to always lean back and use your sticks to stop."
(examining the lift from the line) "oh good, this one has seat belts on it."
I've also had to pick people up off the ground in the lift house so they don't have to stop the quad, because it stalls out nearly every time they have to.
Oh god but my favorite moment that I've ever spent on hill was when I saw an asian family trying to get on a pretty fast moving fixed chair. They weren't expecting it to be so low when it came around to them, and they literally got bucked off the chair and out of the back of the lift house. This was for a double though so they wouldn't have fallen any further if they had fallen inside the lift house. it still made me laugh though
 
gaper-do you think its hard to drive one of the snow destroying machines?

me- what?

g-you know, the machine that crushes up all the snow and puts it on the mountain.

me- you mean a snow cat?

g-no its a machine not an animal.
 
There were like 20 kids sitting at the top of the park waiting to drop and some ski patrol/gaper yelled at everyone to get going.
 
During this season my mom who works behind the quest services desk at sugarbush counted how many complaints she got about there being to much snow on pow days. She got 30. thank god its spring. wait now she gets complaints about the snow being to soft
 
some kid claimed he could land a "780", hten proceeded to fall on his face doing a 180. he tried to play it off and act like he was better than that, so then he went over to a butterbox, 50-50d it, and split it.
 
Yeah it definitely will. I just started skiing them frequently this season and now that i've got the technique down, i've noticed that my skiing in general has improved a lot. Plus it really gets your legs working and is a ton of fun.
 
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