The best gaper quotes

gapers always do this at my mountain. the second i sit down this guy yells "BAR!!!!!!" and slams it down, and my friend was leaning to far forward and it hit him on the back of the head.
 
not reaaally gaper quates but they are funny.
i was getting on the lift and about 20 feet after i see a 2-3 year old following his dad. the kid yells: "DAD I NEED TO POO!!!" i laughed hard core.
nobody there knew what "drop in" meant so i would say it and they would nod. then just stand there.
nobody would let me put the bar up near the end. they only let me when we were under the liftie thing.
3,000,000,000,000,005 ski school groups/tiny kids were there blocking everything.
one swedish mom was wearing a xc bike helmet with no plastic on it with a headband wrapped partly around her neck, partly around the front of her helmet.
 
Alot of racers are also freeskiiers. Chances are he/she just didn't put their outerwear on after a race and switched up their skis. Too much hate on racers.
 
This... Anyone remember one of Jon Olsson's vlogs where he hit a jump in a skin suit? I don't even know where to start to try finding it...
 
people inspect the race course on different skis than they race with. then they have sharp edges left for race time.
 
he could have found a downhill suit at goodwill or value village or something and decided to rock it, i know i found one and have been waiting for a warmer day to rock it hard in the park haha
 
one night in the lodge after skiing i saw a man come in wearing a full carhart suit and a cowboy hat. as he took off his carhart suit i saw that he had decided to layer with a full denim suit underneath said carhart suit. made my fucking night
 
Funny thing in the liftline today.

Me (Volkl Bridges)

Gaper son: DAD! He's got tricky skis!

Gaper dad: Thats right, hes got the uh, double feed...the....double feet....those twintoes...

Me: They're twin tiips, seriously, guys.
 
yesterday at Vail, after getting some nice new snow, I watched a lady try to get a refund for her day pass because the runs weren't groomed enough for her...
 
i have the surface new lifes and occasionally bring them out in PA so i get a lot of dumb questions...
are those waterskis?are those wakeskis?i think your skis are broken. (3 stage rocker)are those skis really good for the bumps?are those... like... really big snowblades? (wtf? they're 184's)do you use them for doing trick skiing?
 
saw a family of 3 snowboarders and the mom had the little kid on a leash. doesn't work that way...another time I got down to the lift (you ski down and it takes you up) and there was a guy in hiking boots with his 5 year old daughter on skis... he had brought her down because he thought he could take the chair up with her. I had to take her up on the chair and he walked back up the run, a good 30-40 minute walk.
 
hahahaha i always see old asian dads (no offense) dressed like hot dogger yelling at their son in the lift line, then i see them going down the hill and he is somehow pulling really dynamic short radius turns on the bunny slope and leaving his kid confused at the top of the hill. One time i helped one of these kids down cus i felt bad. But thats just cus i sju at snoqualmie!
 
Hiking a park yesterday, straight aired the first jump, throw a 3 off second, right after a take off

Some guy with a dog, throws his arms in the air: Holy shit, he's gonna crash!

Needless afterbang, and take off my skis

Same guy: You know the chairlift isn't working?

Me: Thanks for the heads up bud. (Start hiking back up)
 
the guys at my local Play it Again, are such gaper idiot!! they always screw up what i tell them to do.

i just got some bindings mounted of my new skis, they had weird lifters/risors (not sure exactly what they are but they liftup the bindings) and i toold them to take em off. when i go to pick em up... obviously they fucked up and left they lifters on!!
 
yeah, once in a while I'll see old dudes with their super long skis locked together doing short turns on the wide easy groomer as if they were tackling a mogul field... I just want to jump off they lift and give them pointers. "you are doing way more work than you need to"or the snowboarders who clearly have a powder stance. super long nose and super short tail... and I'll see them doing run after run of riding tail-first... they could be riding switch although I doubt it... I think it would be sort of a jerk move to tell them what to do to fix their board
 
i sit next to this gorrila like kid in meteorology who has told me that he skis at some mt all the time, but he doen't rly know naything bout the sport so i never discuss wit him. one day he over hears me and a buddy in the class discuaaing skiing and the euro xgames:

gorrila kid: someone did a double cork? that's not hard

me: can u do that?

gorrila: yeah dude, i learned how to last year (i can tell in his tone that he's a fucking retard and doesn't even know what that is, but i go along wit it)

me: word dude! what kinda skis u got?

gorrila: i don't rly know the name of them, but their blades.

me (i then laugh at him) ur a fucking faggot

gorrila: why man? blades are the best skis ever made!

me: what are they good for?

gorrilla: dude, u can go like super fast in them, way faster than any other ski, and they're perfect for the pipe

i then stoped talking to him...
 
i was a working lifts at copper and a ski school teacher with a bunch of kids asked if i could take one up with me. so i helped him up on the chair. and i asked him how his day was going. and he then said.. i pooped my pants... i did not say anything more. and i when we got to the top i waited till the girl and the rest of the kids were there.. and i was in a hurry i did not tell her..

so it did happen ASS

 
Skiing in Big Sky last year --Got on Swifty with a gaper.
G:So you like skiing this lift.Me: Nah, too many gapersG: What are those?Me: I turn and look him up down and say people like you.G: Oohh so you don't like getting cut off by me when i bomb that super hard blue.(The blue is basically flat).Me: I don't ski groomers when I'm out west. I'm from the midwest so I get enough of them at homeG: So where you going then if u dont like this lift.Me: I'm going to hit the tram up for a few laps, do Lenin and marx chutes then call it a day before it gets to muchy.G: Oh. Those sound easy.I was silent for the rest of my lift up and have never skated so fast away from someone. Thank god I was demoing some weird ass fisher skis without twin tips, i avoided a lot more questions.
 
Gaper snaked me three times on the same jump line, he pulled up beside me on the chair and started talking to me. Right as he was about to sit down on the i used me pole and ejected him.
 
today i was droping in to a jump and a random gaper cuts me off. i see at the bottom and i asked whyd u cut me off, and he replies with where? then i say at the top and he says no i never!!
 
We all gotta respect the racers guys. Them and Us combined pretty much saved skiing. I actually was a racer from 10 years all the way till I graduated High School. It was a blast and I definitely became a pretty kick ass skier because of racing. I was helpless in the park until this past year, but now I can throw 5s, backflips and the occasional seven when I'm not sucking.
 
i get this a lot just for being a girl in guys outerwear. i get bad looks from some old people occasionally and then obviously the gapers always ask.
 
I got my first gaper quote yesterday!
I was riding down from the lift to my car which was parked right next to the lift, and I barely tapped this guys boots with my tail, who was wearing a beanie with sunglasses over it.
Me: Sorry that was an accident
Dumbass: Are yo aware that it is illegal to ski in the parking lot?
Me: no, my car is right there
Dumbass: You can get fined and taken to court for that, do you want to go ask ski patrol?
Me: are you being serious?
Dumbass: Also what you just did right there could be viewed as battery and assault. I could call the police...
I probably shouldn't have but i burst out laughing at that point and skied away
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top