The best gaper quotes

this kid did a rodeo 5 and this girl i'm on the chairlift with yells CORK! That's what happens with you mix gapers with x games
 
i doubt i could tell the difference between a rodeo and a cork all the way from the lift. the majority of skiers couldnt either. they look the same
 
Not really a quote but today i was throwing a floaty 180 off of a kicker and this rental snowboarder is sitting on his ass in the middle of the fucking landing. As soon as i see him, I panic and do another 90 right before I land, double eject, and tumble down the landing. Didn't really get hurt but I cursed the kid out pretty hard lol.
 
Just got the classic "WOW why are your poles so short!?" again yesterday... Also got "Pfft... Level 1!? I'm Level 6!" from my friend who thought he was funny...
 
Kid: Dad have u ever skied in colorado?

Gaper: of course it was the best groomed corduroy in the world.

Kid: wow I want to go

Gaper: ya but I heard that Utah has even better groomed corduroy runs!

Kid: what about the Appalachians?
 
snow and man made snow. He was like: no way its different- you see.., it's just frozen water.....?? No difference there dude
 
i made a run through the park.. at the bottom of the lift some pissed off gaper mom comes up to me and says "i would appreciate it if you would stop giving my son dangerous ideas on those jumps and stuff!"
 
I was skiing down to the lift and half this run to the lift is moguls and the other half is pretty much ice and this gaper is taken up the whole trail so i popped off one of the moguls to get by him and down at the lift line and taps me on my shoulder and says this...

Gaper: that was unsafe what u did there we could have collided if i didnt turn

me: o really good thing i wasnt u cause i dont turn

Gaper:(sigh) next time u should tell me when ur gonna pass me

me: would like me to tap you on your shoulder also?

Gaper: who do you think you are? im a season pass holder i have more right to this mountain than you!

me:As do i and my skis werent made during the great depression ur gears unsafe and u should get ur bifocals updated cause ur blind if u think ur the only one with a season pass.

Gaper:(to younger hot female lift attendant) This skier was out of control and rude on the hill he should get his pass lifted.

Lift attendant: you should get ur pass lifted for giving a fuck what he does

I died of laughter and now ski with the lift attendant and make fun of gapers like this scrub
 
A set up near a tim hortons one day the manager came to kick us off

Manager, hey you kids stop skateboarding

Charlie, were not skiing

Manager, yes you are and skateboarding here is illegal

Charlie, were skiing and anyways were not on your property( we were actualy on the community college grounds)

Manager, no you guys are skateboarding and if you don't leave I will call the cops and I have you skateboarding on video

Charlie, really you have us on video

Manager yes and I could show you to prove it

Charlie, can we see it sick you got it on film

Manager, no you can't it's evidence

Charlie well could you send me the vid my email and address is ECT.
 
thats actually true. natural snow has that unique cryastal look with all those brittle outcroppings and is easiliy compactible and much more dense. manmade snow is spherical and is just tiny piecs of ice (i know that natural snow is too but manmade is much closer to ice crystals than snow) and doesnt compact as easy, and takes longer to melt
 
haha i laughed really hard when i saw this because i was thinking the same thing AND its so above and beyond "lol wut?" that you didnt even put it in english. i just thought that was funny.

but in your quoted text its rearranged correctly. wtf?!
 
my stepsister, the life gaper: "iPhones don't use sim cards. you store all the numbers on the phone"
 
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on a pretty cold day: a bunch of snowguns are running and a gaper on the same chair as me says to his gaper friend"if they dont start shoveling that snow (the pile the snowgun is making) it will freeze and there will be a big lump there forever" and his friend replys "yea dude, i would hate to have the job of shoveling those piles of snow, they must need to use metal shovels 'cause its so hard" and his friend replys "they should get new snowblowers that dont make piles"

i was just laughing my ass off inside and didnt say a word
 
your a fucking tard...it does last longer...

the snow is MUCH more dense and spherical. Take it from someone who makes snow at home
 
Hey dude are you Tom Wallisch, I heard he was a real good tricker...uhhhh no......Then what's that custom label on your booters?
 
apparently throwing your poles off the lift at my mountain is WUT DA KEWL KIDZ DOO.

Anyway, riding up 3 kings tonight, and right as we go over cobra dogs, a kid in front of me chucks his poles at some kid minding his own business, enjoying some eats. Luckily, he misses by a solid 2 feet. This scares the shit out of the kid below, while the kid in the chair ahead is laughing his ass off. The one that almost got hit takes one of the poles, and just leaves.

The guy on the chair i guess wasnt paying attention after his throw, so I tell him, "Hey, that guy you almost harpooned is taking your poles." The kid starts to flip shit, like he couldnt have expected that kind of reaction from his target.

The last thing I hear him say is, "well if he really takes them, I can get my dad to pull his pass."

sorry if that's incoherent, im pretty much asleep right now.
 
skiing away with it and then hutling it javelin style halfway into the woods is far more effective. Avoids you looking like a bitch if you fail to snap the pole.
 
or if its a nice racer pole, slide ur edge down the whole pole and take off that pretty paint.
much like keying a car.
then hand it back and tell them to stop throwing their poles, its dangerous for other people on the hill.

Me:"this run is closed" race training in progress on double black diamond...obvi (im working on this run)
gaper family: "i bet my daughter can ski down this hill better and faster then any of you racers"
Me:"oh yeah?"
Gaper mother:"YEAH! Just watch her!"
the whole ski team skis the course and looks back up at the family sitting on the pitch throwin their skis to the bottom and sliding down on their asses. im at the top helping them down the hill... fucking gapers piss me off. especially when they do things like that. ski a run that they cant do and put themselves in a very dangerous blindspot.

 
I roll in the park and a kid stops me and is like "hey man are you sponsered?" and im like "lolwut?" then he says "your helmet has stickers on it" then i double face palm and ride away.
 
48 degrees, sunny. on the chair next to a gaper

gaper: jeesus it's freezing, is it always this cold on the mountain

me:....... yeah

gaper: im getting frostbite im going in to the lodge.
 
once my friends was hitting the jump line in our park and there was a snowboarder chick sitting on the landing. he didn't see her until the last second, but luckily he changes course right as he is on the lip of the jump. his skis went about 10 inches from her head, and they land on her snowboard which was vertical. his skis hit the end of her board. His skis pushed her board downhill (her base was downhill and when he landed her base was uphill). she flew about 2-3 feet in the air and slid like 10 feet down the landing.
 
so today me and my friend are heading in to train the last jump in the okemo park (the step up). first of all this gaper dad has all his kids hit the cannon box above the step up and none of them have speed so they all get stuck halfway up it. then this guy decides to do some carving turns in the run in to the jump. he cut me off so i stopped but my friend kept going. my friend hits the jump but the gaper takes a big turn and now is standing in the middle of the knuckle. if he had gone a foot farther my friend would have hit him and both of them would be very hurt now. then he takes the family into hot dog hill and they all fall on the tiny jumps and flat boxes, i laughed
 
yea i was thinking the same thing. what a little doucher. this story makes me mad too about how the kid can just get his dad to pull his pass or whatev. too much of that these days
 
Kid that tried skiing with us today was wearing the red and white air raid jacket with some Burton or something denim snowpants say that he is " Like a hybrid between Shawn White and Simon Dumont " We just gave him a funny stare and ended up ditching him.
 
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