The best gaper quotes

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1. Gaper

A gaper is a skier or snowboarder who is completely clueless. Usually distiungished by their bright coloured clothes and a gaper gap, the gap between goggles and a helment/hat. Gapers also do the "Gaper Tuck" which is an attempt at being a ski racer by tucking, however, it is done incorrectly with the poles sticking straight up like thunderbolts and lighting, very very frightning! Gapers also sit at the bottom of jumps and try and go big off table tops in the park.

1. My eyes are burning from that gapers bright coloured clothes.

2. I fell off the chair laughing at that gaper tuck.

3. Did you just see that gaper getting landed on because he was sitting like a dumbass at the landing of a jump.

2. Gaper

A skier or snowboarder who sucks and is usually spotted wearing clothing from 1983, but other clothing styles for them do exist. A dead giveaway of a gaper is when their pants are tucked into their boots and the famous "Gaper Gap" (a gap between the helmet/hat and the goggles). Gapers sometimes temporarily inhabit the entrance to a terrain park. They will sit on their ass for a good 5-10 minutes talking about what they are going to do of a that "jump" or "rail" while everyone behind them goes before them and they stare at them with their mouth gaped open. Once they finally decide to leave their home at the entrance of the terrain park, the gaper will eventually decide to either roll over the jump and mess up all the lips, or they will try and actually hit the jump. If this occurs, they generally end up coming up half way short of the landing on their ass and yardsale, while the person behind them runs them over and/or yells at them. Gapers may also make turns or snowplow down green runs and sometime try to act cool by crouching and sticking their ski poles in the air but are totally oblivioius to the fact that they look even more stupid than they previously were. Gapers often find themselves on the top of a black diamond run because they are dumbasses and can't read a map. When they approach the run, they may either turn around, stare at it, sit down on the top of it, or just simply walk down the side of it. Gapers often have trouble getting on and off lifts and the lift operator gets really frustrated with them because he is required to stop the lift. A fun game to play while skiing or riding behind a gaper is called "Follow the Gaper". The game is played by following the gaper's path and looking as bad as they are. The game will usually last until they identify your presence, however it is possible to extend the game even past this point.

 
I like to line up the graphics on my k2s. if you're not any good at least you should look good! and if you don't look any good at least your skis should look good!
 
this is true. But have you ever skied on 300 vertical feet of pure Ice? I wish I could ski on powder/ packed powder every day
 
this is true. But have you ever skied on 1500 foot vertical feet with 3 feet of pure powder? I'm glad I ski powder/packed powder every day.
 
Girls in a bar in Whistler: "These beers have gone straight to my head; must be the altitude"

"It's too powdery"

Sizing a guy for second hand skis:

Me: "are you a beginner, intermediate, advanced?"

Him: "I'm pretty much pro!"
 
never that deep. :( But I've skied out west and I understand how crazy better it is. :( I'm not bashing the west coast, just kinda saying that ice is really fucking hard to ski (well)
 
Gaper on Chairlift:"What is your guys favorite mountain range in Colorado (we thought he meant to ski in) We said the gore range the mountain range where vail is.Gaper: o ive never heard of that mountain range my favorite is keystone. Us: Sighhhhhhh
 
him:hey, do you snowboard?me: no i ski.him:what kind of skiing do you do? me: park and pow.him: whats your best trick?me: i am not hat good. i just started skiing park this year. 360 tail grab is my best trick.him: oh nice....... i can FRONTFLIP!!!
another:
i overhear a kid in my class talk about how amazing he is at snowboarding and how he has been snowboarding for 3 years so he is absolutely amazing... *sigh*.
me: hey, i ski. where do you board? him: board? What?me:... snowboardhim: oh... just places close.me: what kind of boarding do you do?him:...me: *sigh*... snowboarding...him:... OH! i trick snowboard.me: Really...him: oh yeah. its so much harder to do tricks then skiing!me:... right. enlighten me...him: THE GRABS ARE FRICKIN INSANE FOR SNOWBOARDING!!!!!!me:... *walks away*
 
went on a ski trip with my school and heard some GREAT ones...

"do they rent stunt skis there?"-my buddy joe

"oh good, this one has a seat belt on it."-random lady in the lift line

this one isn't really that gaper but I thought it was funny. This girl shows our teacher her 80's ski jacket. "that thing is straight out of Borat..."-Mr. McMorris. lol
 
i didn't her this becuause I was screwing around after I fifnshed eating, but my friend said some family went buy and one of them said "always lean back and use your sticks." oh and a teacher I used to have told me this story: She was invited to go skiing with her friend and had never been before. They told her she would probably only have to ski on the bunny slope, but she was worried about the ski lifts. They told her it had a rope tow that you hold onto and it pulls you up. she replied with "how high off the ground is it?" haha
 
these dumb girls at lunch were telling me that I must not be good enough to be pro (im not) because if I was I would have already made "the team" apparantly theres some team you must make to be a professional and only people on this team can be professional skiers and go to the olympics... dang i wish i was good enough to make the u.s. slopestyle ski team and go to the olympics!
 
Gaper: Do you do tricksMe: YeahGaper:My Dad can do a helicopterMe:Whats that?Gaper: Its were you go upsidedown and spin like a hellicopter
 
Nope. Sugar mtn in North Carolina. The place has some decent terrain, but it does a horrible job of using it and it strictly caters to racers and one time skiers
 
aww i feel ya. me and some guys were having a gaper day at basin during dew tour and one budy was on 222s doing mad old school imitations
 
So i have a gopro on my helmet and i ski at the crappiest/noobiest place in the world (alpine its in ohio) and a kid asks me "is that a flashlight on your head?" my response "no its a laser"
 
at my local hill (mostly a park) to signal "next dropping in" you wave your pole and say drop in... then drop in. well last weekend me and some other guy both signaled drop in at the same time by accident. i let him drop first. a snowboarder beside us says "why are you waving at each other?!?"
 
at my local hill (mostly a park) to signal "next dropping in" you wave your pole and say drop in... then drop in. well last weekend me and some other guy both signaled drop in at the same time by accident. i let him drop first. a snowboarder beside us says "why are you waving at each other?!?"
 
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