The best gaper quotes

when i was like 10 i was on the freestyle team at my mtn...we did bumps all day..the original freestyle..
 
i was floating down the snake river in WY. in august and the Grand Tetons are right next to the river the person that i was guiding asked me what the white stuff on the mountain was.....................................................................................i didn't reply

another person asked "is that MT Everest???????

both of these people were about 40-45
 
why do you wear your goggles so low?why do you wear a hat under ur helmet?
why is that guy skiing backwards? are his skis broken?

i love chairlifts... great conversations
 
a bunch of gaper kids at my school think i suck because i dont do the airels jumps (the ones like at the olympics, and we dont have those) and they think that skiing park is the same thing as airels
 
there were a bunch of kids renting skis and i saw one do a 180 and his tips got caught and flew back and smashed his head. he proceeded to lie in the landing of a jump for 10 minutes screaming that switch is impossible.
 
Hahahahah ^ thats funny some older guy at my mountain started tallkgint bout skiing and metioned the park, me riding there i say i yah the park here is really nice, he looks at me then looks at my skis and laughs. did i mention he had skis from 1985 and a green one piece... Gapers
 
A friend of mine was convinced that heli-skiing involved a person jumping from a hovering heli and landing on the hill. He then preceded to ask me why they didn't have heli-skiing at Springs (700ft vertical, 20ish runs). I didn't answer...
 
on the lift with two snowboarders that still thought they were fifteen but where in there mid 30s. and one of them was tellin his friend that his boardsparked when he went over this rock then he didnt have time to dodge the rock and hit it and fire ignited right off the back of his bpard and probably melted the snow behind him
 
this really annyoing kid named dylan demonbrun he supposvely snowboards and he is a proffesional and posts all these fake picture on facebook of him and he says he can do a double cork 10 and the other day he posted a pic on facebook of him doing a backflip the pic is from 1995 he's 13. my friends and i have also had some experinces about him one day he is going to keystone on saturday the next day we ask where he is going snowboarding this weekend he says vail because we say were going to keystone.
 
I thought that my friend did a flatspin 3 once but it was a good thing that there was a gaper there to let me know that it was ACTUALY a really bad backflip
 
yeah man. that annoys me. i have been accidentally signed up in the snowboard category of two rail jams. both times i had to say actually, i ski.
woman, look down at my boots. they're ski boots, not snowboard boot. dangit.
 
all i got is this.....
41509_742790997_2382737_n.jpg
 
gaper friend: im going to belleayre on saturday

me: nice it will probably be a sick powder day

Gaper: whats that

me: your so stupid its ridiculous

Gaper: is february 6th like national powder day or something?

me: facepalm
 
"whats the difference between powder and packed snow?"

"All snow is the same, snow isnt heavier or lighter"

"Whats powder day?"
 
not really gaper quote but i was on the lift and some guy was talking about he was drunk and had explosive diarrhea. he ten proceeded to explain how he cleaned the bowl without water...
 
i was riding up with a mom and her 2 girls or somthin, and they were cheering from the lift when somone did a frickin straight air over a 30 foot. then they were wondering if there was somthing under the jumps or if ther were made out of all snow, i told them it was all snow except for the halfpipe wich kinda has walls out of dirt.

then they wondered what they attach the rails to if it was all snow. i explainde they were in the snow very deep and wont fall over.

what a bunch of noobz
 
as i was waiting in line for the lift at carinthia i hear some lady yell to someone with her on a snowboard, yeah obviously i dont belong in the terrain park because im on skis, but im ridin with you so ill be okay right?
 
rakin the park last night a group of people proceed through the park stopping on the very top of every lip. i hear one of them say,

"do you go pole straps on when you hit big jumps, or do you take them off?"

haha
 
Not a bad question actually... I go no straps because I have been speared by my poles from being attached to my wrist. Also I find it uncomfortable for some reason so I remove the straps from my poles... But it also helps incase you lose grip from your pole when doing a grab or something. The guy was just wondering and I could see good skiers ask the same question.
 
So i was on the chairlift by myself and these two guys from Texas ride with me and i hear this.

Guy 1: *sings some awful tpain song*

While Guy 2: Also listens to some music, and then later the other guy says "wow the powders hard to ski in" and then says," You just have to really lean back" and his dumb friend agrees with him. Trust me I've had way worst gapers ride with me but thats all i can think of.

 
random kid: this park is coolme: yeah, i love itrandom kid: that fence thing looks really hardme: fence?random kid: yeah the one right thereme : you mean the rail? (holding back laughter)random kid: yea that
 
I was eavesdropping over someone at the top of the hill about to drop to hit jumps when 2 old ladies asked the following:

"Is this the terrain park?" (Couldnt believe they asked..)

"Yeah"

"So where do we go if we want to avoid everything?"

"Go down the side I guess"

"Ok thank you"

and they proceeded to go straight down the hill managing to block everyone from hitting the jumps until they turned to go down the jumps landing.
 
talking to my moms second cousin about skiing and he asked if i had double tip skis lols. But after he talked about how he graduated with mark abma haha
 
i know theyre not quotes but yesterday i got to see some gaper fun and was it ever funny

this is all in the same day

3 people skiing so slowly down the hill, allof a sudden start converging towards each other, cant stop andcollide but since it was low speed they didnt get hurt they all just fell into a pile together and slid down the hill

HAHAH

then this couple try to get on the catskinner chair but this lady somehow manages tosnap her pole between the ground and chair, and manages to get thrown 5 feet to the side. she went and cried behind the lift shack and her husband threw the broken pole then went to comfort her

still laughed my ass off

then im waiting to get on the lift next, line in front of us goes but some random single comes outtanowhere and tries to join the already full line in front of me. since there was no room for him he doesnt know what to do and gets smoked from the side by the chair, looked so painful

 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top