Most embarrasing thing you have ever said to you parents

well

one night i was sleeping on my couch and i woke up and my penis was out... then i realize nobody is in the house and my couch is near the door most frequently used adn pretty much everyone that walked out had a good chance of seeing my dong... very aqward wake up
 
well i once got in a fight with my dad when i was 9 and told him to suck it and did that thing wrestlers did with the hands at the crotch not really embarassing just funny
 
Ahhh

I think my mom has been deliberatly renting movies with sex scenes cause she thinks I'll need "the talk" and thinks that if I watch them I won't need it... hmm

She's rented Band Camp and Forty Year-Old Virgin this week and it's so awkward.

Uhhh yeasterday she walked in on me and a buddy smoking a blunt, it was like "What are you doing?" "Hanging out" "I know you've got a joint there" "Whatchu talkin about I have no joint?" "Yeah whatever. I can smell it." Then I take a big hit and let it float out of my mouth. She leaves.
 
i feel so uncomfortable when im watching sex scenes with my parents. my mom starts laughing, because i go take something to eat or drink, because i just feel too uncomforable.
 
mines not that good but whatever. So i come home from school hearing this joke. I tell my mom, "hey mom, i heard this joke today. you go up to a girl and say "hey are you irish(o whatever ethnicity). NO? Well would you like some in you!?" The silly little 4th grader i was thought it was just about kissing. She didnt say much afterwards
 
probably when i was like 7 and i was in the car with my dad (and coming from an athiest family knew nothing of this) and asked if jesus and christ was the same person. he pulls the car to the side of the road and just turns to me and says "what are you a fucking moron or something?" I was a little embarassed.
 
well ive never really said anything real embarssing, but a few weeks ago i had to go pick up my dad and 5 of his drunkass friends at a bachelor. party.. well my dad thinks hes in his 20s and hangsout with all young guys. so one of his firends comes up to me and starts hitting on me, totally wasted. asking me if id go home with him..telling me ive gotten really pretty..and my dads like "dood! shes 18!" and his friends like " thats the whole point!" and it was just awkwaard cuz this guy was all over me and it was my dads friend with him standing right there
 
he always says that shit but he never means it. i find it funny most of the time. and you have to admit, it was a fucking stupid question, even for a 7 year old.
 
when i was about 7 i think, i was walking around Sears with my mom, and i had just finished watching this movie where somebody says "hard-on" and starts laughing. I was saying it constantly when i was walking around, and this old man passed me and looked at me funny (but i still had no clue what it meant so i kept saying it, practically yelling it) and my mom heard me and told me what it was (but at the time i still didn't really understand) I stopped anyways though.
 
Dude, your whipped by that girlfriend. Every story was about you and her. Either you are whipped or yuou try to brag that you arent a virgin.
 
Remeber in Bring in on that little dance that the cheerleaders do?

Well it had just come out and my freind and I thought it was pretty freaking cool so we tied up our shirts put on short skirts and did the whole dance in front of my parents

including "I swear I'm not a whore!"

I didn't even know hwta a whore was lol

I'm pretty sure that made my parents a little worried for the future

I might have ven asked them to videotape it...
 
Neither its just that a lot of funny shit happens that involves her. Cause i spend a lot of time with her so funny stuff happens when i am around her.
 
one time i went to the drug store to buy some birth control, and my mom was working across the street, and she saw them doing this thing witha ruler that means, kinda like, you must be this tall to ride this rollercoaster, and i wasn't tall enough and the kicked me out on the street and called me a whore
 
well jsut now i was reading these and started laughing so my dad was liek wats so funny and i was like jsut this thing on the internet and he made me read some out to him i had to say stuff like masturbate it was pretty bad
 
this aint my parents but a month ago i got punched in the mouth because i was signing a rap song and the word ni***r slipped out of my mouth...lets just say they over exagerated a lot...and it cost my parents 400 dollars to get x rays along with other apointments
 
bahhahah, that was you dude? i heard about that but i didn't realize it was you. I'm sorry, but i laughed pretty damn hard when i first heard that.
 
we had to get some bugs for school when i was like 8, and i told mum and dad that i had to catch some orgasms.meaning organisms of course.
 
Wells this isnt my parents, and its not something i said exactly either.. .but

one day a couple years ago I'd forgot my (then) girlfriends birthday, and then i was out of town for the weekend at my grandparents. So i was talking to my brother quietly at lucnhc trying to decide what to get her, the whole family there and all. I didnt think they were paying atttention. Apparently though my grandfather was, even though hes usually to deaf to hear anything, he caught this little debate, so out of nowhere he bursts out with a booming "Just buy her some sex-y Linger-ery!"

it helps maybe if you imagine his cambridge don accent. And how loud he said it.
 
kinda off topic but i was in science class in 6th grade and we were going over charles darwin and wat not and my teacher who was pretty hot and younger said something like "he discovered many different types of organisms" and then one of the smarter kids in class raised his hand and asked wat is an orgasm and my teacher plays it off like he mispoke or something and says well an organism is a living thing and the kid was like "yea i no that but wat is an orgasm" my teacher was baffled she was like uhhh u should prolly ask ur parents that one and under her breath shes like omg wat do i do while half of our class rupts in laughter
 
Ok sO i went to Chipotle with a friend of mine and we got burritos. they mixed up opur burritos and we were like shit whatever.

So I get home and my dads like blah blah how was chipotle. So I was like good and go on to explain how goo it was. And how they mixed up our burritos and how pissed we were.

then he asked me "Were you smokin bud in your car?" my response was a very very stoned "No..." and he asked me "You think this is my first rodeo?" So I ask him "Do think this is mine?"
 
mom accidently cut my lil cuz girl finger, i dont know how. anyways it was on the middle finger and she cunt move it cuz she had 3 bandages on. its hilarius
 
The other day i was watchin wedding crashers and my pops came in and started watching too...so they do that falling on teh bed thing tits flopin around...my dad goes i dont t hink this is a movie for you...i was like u gotta be kidding me...u dont think ive never saw a tit before...didnt say that but wanted to...instead i made my phone vibrate and pretend like i had a call and walked out...
 
that's lame. i watched that movie WITH my dad in theaters and he loved it. it was his idea to see it too.
 
are you serious, its so embarassing to watch sex scenes and shit with your parents, this kid did the right move IMO
 
haha ya my girlfriend just got herteeth out and called my cell and left the funnyest message
 
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