Most embarrasing thing you have ever said to you parents

oh my god lol!!!

one, thats nasty

two, i feel bad for you

three, if i saw my parents doing that i would NEVER EVER EVER bring it up or even think about it again! eww!
 
i never told my parents about their sex tape that i accidentally found when i was 10, that was the end of my childhood
 
i must say, it was a little awkward, but my dad just started laughing so i figured it was ok.

but, again, with my dad who seems to be the stem of all my awkward moments. My dad has this crazy ass friend who he's been best friends with since middle school . So he was talking to him on the phone as i walk in the house after school. My dad tells him i just walked in and puts the phone on speaker phone so i hear his friend go, "put the little fucker on the line". So I start talking to him and he starts lecturing me on the cheapest way of getting through college when somehow the converstaion turns to sex and he just straight up asks, "so how's the sex with that new girl of yours?" on speaker phone with my dad right there. I felt really awkward hearing that in front of my dad but somehow i mustered up the courage to reply "pretty damn good" and hand the phone back to my dad and walk away.
 
i didint say anything but last year i was like 1/4 awake and im walking down the hall to the bathroom. without even thinking about it i dropped my pants and pissed all over my parents door. hahaha then my dad came out and i was passed out on the floor laying in my own piss. it was terrible
 
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaha, my uncle was semi sleepwalking to the bathroom and ended up peeing away from the toilet, he was in the right room, just turned the wrong direction
 
I don't really have any more uber good stories.

I have a couple but they aren't as good as the rest so I don't want to post them and ruin my good storie legacy. LOL
 
I GOT SO MANY ITS UNBALEVABLE BUT THE BEST

mE AND MY GIRL FRIEND GO BACK T HER HOUSE AFTER A MAD PARTY I WAS SO DRUNK SHE TOUGHT HER PARENTS LEFT FOR THE WEEKEND SO SHE TELLS ME TO GO GET CONDOMS IN HER PARENTS ROOM ( i TOOK SOME BEFORE SO I KNEW EXACTLY WHEIRE THEY WORE ) i WAS SO SMASHED I DINT REALYZE THAT MY GIRLFREINDS PARENTS WORE SLEEPING IN THE BET SO I GET THE CONDOMS AND WEN I ABOUT TO LEAVE MY GIRL FREIND COMES IN THE ROOM PRACTICCLY NAKED AND JUMPS ON ME WE FALL ON THE FLOOR THE PARENTS WAKE UP I HAVE A CONDOM IN OWNE HAND AND THEIRE NAKED DAUGTHERS TITS IN THE OTEHER

THAT WAS THE AKWARDES SILENTS EVER NOW WNE I SEE MY GIRL FREINDS PARENTS I TURN RED
 
long story short parent came home early i was SHITfaced. long story short Scooping Icecream shitty in front of your parents is tough
 
me and my mom and my ex were play scategories, I don't know why but we were. C was rolled on the dice and one of the things was something sticky. My MOM writes cum. That was fucking awkward, I wanted to die.
 
now this wasn't to my parents, but it was to my daycare -sitter whatever when i was about...4 maybe.

Okay, so we've all seen homeward bound, correct? good.

you know when the cool dog, not the old one that almost dies, tells the cat to 'go cough up a hairball'

well my interpretation of that line was "go fuck up a hairball"

I knew the word 'fuck' was a bad word, but upon reviewing the movie box, I saw that the rating was G. Any G rated movie that can use the word 'fuck' must be okay in that context.

SO, she tells me to go lie down and have a nap because I was proabbly being a little prick, and I say....

"WHY DON'T YOU GO TO BED AND FUCK UP A HAIRBALL!!!"

good times
 
wow i didnt know talking to your mom about sex would be soo complicated but it was kind uncomfortable when my mother bought condoms for me and my bro but yeah ha
 
my mom bought a whole big box of condoms and she wrote a note on it.... i think it went..... "the only thing worse then having sex is having unprotected sex" hahaha shes kind of a nut!!
 
i think my home/family computer got a virus or soemthign when i was in like 7th grade, or mayeb my parents are just smart, but somehow they figured out what "history" was in internet explorer.

i had discovered internet porn like a coupel months earlier and went to it whenever i was alone in teh house. so basically they sit me down, with a printout of like acouple hundred websites and begin to ask me if it was me goign to these sites. at first i denied it, but this was one of my first times seriously lying to my parents, they caught me totally off guard, had a ton of evidence, and they jus tsat there and watched me go red...i put my head down as they started to list teh sites off, and i admitted it. a long ass pseech by both of them followed. it was really fuckgin awkward
 
um yea, i hate to be that guy, but im pretty sure i have the best/worst drunk pissing story ever.

so me and my friend visited our other friends at bc one night, and we got rediculous, cause we thought we were passing out there. i was blackout very early in the night. so apparently we decided to drive home, which my firnd did, and i made my way up to my bed and the car was fine and he walked home. phew right?

so, i wake up the next morning and this is one of my first times home from college and i didn't do a ton of rediculous drinking in high school, so i thought "oh shit i hope i didn't make too much noise or knock anything over, or do anythign rediculosu last night" as i go across the hall to piss and chug water, and see all these trinkets and books and shit strewn about our bathroom apparently drying. on the way back i hear "he pissed" along with other buzzing of converstaion among my parents downstairs and i start to think i might have caused teh shit in the bathroom and i got a little nervous, but i was still tired so iwent back to sleep.

i wake up 12 to my furious mom screaming at me asking me if i had fun and askign how many beers i drank last night. HOLY SHIT. i play dumb and she lays it on me. APPARENTLY i walked past the bathroom and into my parents bedroom, walked around my parents' bed to the far nightstand, open up my mom's nightstand drawer, and proceed to piss EVERYWHERE. i pissed all over the shit in her drawer all over teh floor, and she might have gotten some of the splatter too but for her sake i hope not. APPARENTLY they woke up in the middle asked me what teh hell i was doing and sent me to bed. they clean it up a little in the night, and my mom sent me to work as soon as she was done retellign the story to me whe she woke me up. i think my dad thought it was kind of funny, but i was in a ton of trouble and it was rediculously awkward talkign to them for a long time...let's just say my sister had the upper hand when we argued in front of our parents for awhile, there's no better comeback then "at least i didn't piss in mom's drawer". thank god i got to back to college the next week
 
damn i got a new one, my jeans got muddy friday night so not thinkin i take off my pants and throw them in the laundry with my other clothes, put on some sweats and chill watch tv and EAT, then get tired and go to bed, then next day its all normal i go out and do my stuff come back around 4 and my mom is in my room putting my laundry on my bed and places the contents of my muddy jeans on the pile, it consisted of bottle caps more than normal amount of averge person pocket cash (like $110), and my WALLET, i didnt have the money in the wallet because it was being occupyed by condoms, so like a normal mom she asked what these were for, and my mom knows me and my girl took a break so she probally is wonder who would i use these with, it was akward but i had the mother of all lines i always wanted to say this and finnaly got to haha "Eh, you and me both know what they are, and would you rather want me to have one or need one and not have one?", she took it well by leaving my room and that was the end of it.
 
Something embarassing when i was a kid.

I used this towel, to clean my nasty internet deeds. Catchin my drify. My mom went to do the laundry and she comes to room asking "What happenned to this towel."

I all but exploded. I told her i had a big cold and especially after taking a shower i need to blow my nose.

Afterthought, has anybody seen that Jenna Haze auditioning coach porn? This is well after my towel incident, i'm watching the porno and the guy says to Haze, "why do you like cum so much, for intent purposes its just like snot." I burst out laughing, my friends are like WTF?

Here is a line you NEVER tell your parents, HOLY SHIT, NO NO NO NO. "hey mom and dad. There's something important going on that i think you should know. I'm on Ecstasy."

I cant tell you exactly what my parents did, because there are so many things(including calling my friends parents). Use the worst thing that happenned in your life with your rents and well, thats what is going to happen.
 
^ umm i dont understand really it just dosent make sense is it two or three stories or one big one
 
Not my parents... but one night my friend and I came back from a party pretty late and his parents were home. They were already sleeping by this time so we think it's cool. This kids parents have a bathroom with two doorways, one connecting to the hallway and one to their bedroom which they were sleeping in.

Anyways, we walk back from this party pretty trashed cause his house was closeby, and I go into the bathroom to piss. Apparently I started making too much noise, because my friends dad said something like "Keep it down, I'm trying to sleep." Being pretty drunk, I scream back "YOU DONT TELL ME WHAT TO FUCKING DO IN MY OWN HOUSE!" and storm out of the bathroom into his parents bedroom. Both of them were awake and sitting up and just staring at me.

I try to explain what's going on but of course it makes things a lot worse since I probably couldnt talk straight and coherently. I guess they thought it was funny though and went back to sleep after, which was definitely a break. I woke up in the morning with no recollection of this, so the whole morning I kept wondering why this kids parents burst into laughter whenever they saw me.

That's about the best story I have.
 
here is my claim to fame with drinking. so i go over to my friends house and there are like 5 kids over. so i get utterly hammered. like i had 2 1/2 tall cans and 4 shots. we were being all loud and crazy and we were keeping his sister up. so this kid keeps pissing me off and he decides to go to sleep. when he is sleeping i start peeing all over him. i have no memory of any of this but i have been told. then i take the piss covered sheets and pass out on the ground. i flipped out the next morning when i woke up in sheets covered in piss in the middle of my friends floor. nd apparently i was denying i was doing it while i was pissing. like they were like "John you are a fuckin retard," and i was like "no, it wasn't me". funny shit cuz i don't remember it. but now i can't drink at that kids house anymore:(
 
This was my friend;

one day my friend 'flavian' walked in on his dad whatching porn and just sorta leaves. So the next day, his dad is sitting on the couch and my friend, 'flavian' goes sits right up on his lap and says

"gee dad, I loooove porn"
 
my friend went to this party the other night and drinks likr 2 full glasses of vodka, he passes out on the couch, wkaes up pulls off his pants and boxers. then he prceeds to puke up full corn pops(blows my mind how he did it), he passes out on the couch again. then he shits all over the couch whne he was sleeping, his life is ruined
 
i dont remember exactly what words were used but me and my brother were riding in the back seat of the car with my two parents in the front and we were real slaphappy from the long drive home from vacation and we were just laughing and shit and i wasn't thinking and my brother said something and i responded with something like "that stupid nigger"...it got really silent and my brother and i were cracking up and my parents were just silent. im still not sure if they heard it and didnt care or they didnt hear it....it was just really awkward
 
well i came home drunk off my ass(imagine that haha)and in my family theres no drinking drugs etc..well anyways i had leftovers from a party and well i put the case of beer in the fridge not even thinkin i should of hid it..i turned around and there was my dad well obviously he wasnt gonna teach me my lesson by making me drink it all cause i was already trashed out of my mind so he took me to my highschool (with the case of beer)and took me to the principle's office and set the case of beer on the desk......and if u didnt guess the rest of the story..i got suspended for about....4 weeks!
 
So here is a new akward moment.

As you may have read my previous stories this one relates back to the night with the bathtub. In having the gf over for a nice bath in the whirlpool i decided to add some bubble bath. Me not wanting to use my moms used the Toy Story stuff that i got when i was like 7. It all went well untill the other night. We were in my girlfriends kitchen talking to ger parents and her dad was going on about how he thought one of our friends was gay cause he was wearing a pink shirt. My girlfriend blurts out you wanna hear gay Corey has toy story bubble bath. Well my girilfriends dad swings around looks at us and poses the question How do you know? Well i remeber that night in the tub so I have that I got laid smile and turn red. My girlfriend turns red and just starts to stammer cause you really can't come up with a good lie. I just stayed mute and smiled and let her try and explain it but luckly her mom changed the subject. But her dad keept watching me all night.

not funny just akward
 
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