Worst thing that has been said to you during/after sex

tumblr_ljiw7xQiFZ1qghs6qo1_500.jpg
 
haha not like that. The one time it happened was because the girl was losing her virginity and was overwhelmed by the whole thing. I definitely felt like shit even though she was adamant about wanting to do it with both of us being sober
 
I had a couple invite me over to there house while I was bar-tending one night so I go over there to drink with another customer that I met that night and we were in the spare room messing around and the couple come running into the room and jump on top of us and the chick yells " were about to rape the shit outa y'all" the girl I'm with starts balling and I asked them to please leave the room and it turned she had been raped before" needless to say, I didn't get laid that night.
 
Really awkward rebound with and old friend, high fives me and says "way to go champ" so I give her an encouraging punch on the arm and say "atta kid slugger" and yeah. We still call each other that.
 
I say that to my girlfriend all the time...

When I lost my virginity, the first thing she said was, "Okay, good job. Can we go get Taco Johns now?"
 
My crazy ex-girlfriend went ape shit during sex one time and threatened to call the cops and tell them that i raped her. Needless to say that was kind of the beginning of the end of her.

Not something said but i once decked a girl in the face on accident. Doggy style and i went to grab her shoulder and she turned around right at that moment and whack! right in the face. We laughed it off, she was super chill.
 
when I was 21 I was dating this really hot high school girl and I was at her house and she wanted to have sex but didn't have a lock on her door so I didn't really wanna do it with her parents in the next room so she took all of her clothes off and told me if I didn't do it she was gonna walk out of the room naked and tell her dad that we had been having sex so I tried to call her bluff and she actually walks out into the hallway and I had to run out and pick her up and carry her back into the room. I was really scared so I got it over with as fast as I could and she was like "that wasn't good enough, I want it again" and proceeds to take my clothes and throw them into the hallway and grabs my dick and won't let go until I agree to do it again so I did. I was so scared her dad was gonna walk into the room and catch us but at the same time it was one of the best sex sessions I've ever had. here is a pic of her at the time...

https://scontent-b-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc1/p206x206/140_11613060458_6594_n.jpg
 
when i couldnt get past a half chub because i was so drunk (and she was pretty ugly and not really turning me on), she looked at me with a straight face and said "are you fucking kidding me"

then proceeded to get up, throw my pants at me, and ask me to leave.

that was pretty awkward. but funny. i didn't want to bang her any way. at least if you're going to be a 3/10 do something that makes up for it. suck a mean dick, be crazy, anything. don't lay there spread eagle and expect to get railed like you're some bombshell who does this kind of thing every night.
 
After I lost my virginity I said: "you know, there's nothing wrong with abortion."

It wasn't my proudest moment but I wanted her to know.
 
"wanna go again?"

Seriously less than a minute after we (both) finished. I thought she was joking so i just laughed. Turned out she meant it.
 
no joke. I passed out and a buddy of mine hooked up with this girl in while i was passed out. I woke to hear this

Girl: youre not going to hook up with my mom are you?

Friend: What?

That is when I burst into laugher.

Backstory, I guess she has had dudes hook up with her mom after they hooked up with her. It has happened like 4 ot 5 times.
 
Damn commies. What's wrong with a high five? Girls that are just having fun are way more fun than super serious ones.
 
banging some girl at a party, i was too drunk to be on top so i said "sit on it". next thing i know my dick is in her ass. I just went with it. thats all.
 
Back
Top