The following is an exerpt from Tucker Max: makes my cock recoil...
"At this point, I thought it couldn’t get any worse. My appendix was absolutely killing me, I had no painkillers, there were numerous needles stuck in me, my ass was still greasy from some guy putting his KY covered fingers in my rectum, some guy was undressing me--really--what the fuck else could go wrong?
The nurse told me to pull my gown off my crotch and took out a long tube. It is called a Foley Catheter, and it is used to drain your bladder when it is not under your control, either because you are unconscious (for surgery) or cannot control it yourself (paralyzation). I measured it later, and it is exactly 16 inches long.
I took one look at that garden hose he was holding and my heart stopped. I’d rather get fucked in the ass with a telephone pole then take that thing up my urethra. I have heard absolute horror tales about what that thing feels like going up your dick.
Tucker "No, no, no-You aren’t putting that thing in my dick are you? Please god in heaven tell me no.”
Nurse "Yeah, man. Got to--It’s how you piss when you’re in surgery.”
I didn't even have it in me to put up a fight. I was too scared. I just grabbed the side rails of the gurney and held the fuck on. This is an approximation of my reaction:
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH"
It went on like that for a few seconds. When the blaze of anguish stopped, I wiped the forming tears from my eyes and looked down, expecting to see a yellow tube sticking out from my penis.
Tucker "What the fuck? Hey man--where is it?”
Nurse "That one was too big, I’m gonna have to go with a 16 gauge instead of a 14.”
This did not please me, and I expressed my feelings with a string of furious profanity such as would make a longshoreman proud. He eventually got the second one into my urethra, and I wasn't thinking about my abdominal pain anymore. I never really understood the phrase “pissing out razor blades” until this experience. The act of inserting that firehose into my penis was so horribly painful it made me forget what was, to that point, the worst pain of my life. Even writing this is making my dick hurt. Or maybe that’s the herpes. Who knows?"