Here's an old joke that kinda fits this thread:
Generals from the US, Russian and Finnish army were out having a drink. Then the bragging began:
"You think you got it well? We have over 20,000 jet fighters", the US general begins.
"Is that so? Our proud navy has a fleet of 30,000 destroyers", the Russian general exclaimed.
"Well, I don't know about my army that much, but there's a guy living in the middle of Helsinki who has a 12ft dick", the Finnish general says.
The US general retracts: "Well, actually, we only have like 2,000 jets..." The Russian continues: "Yeah, we really only have like 3,000 naval destroyers, too." The Finnish general blurts out: "Well, yeah, the guy doesn't actually live in the exact centre of Helsinki, either."