Things that you always thought until someone told you that your life was a lie

Oral sex was talking about sex/ phone sex for an embarrassingly long time for me, and none of you mentioned it therefore I feel even a little more stupid.
 
ahaha thats asome. well i have to say im still not sure is asien pussy really does smell like wet dog. lots of ppl say it does i duno
 
up until about i month ago i was still debating wether between the goalies legs in hockey was pie hole or five hole. I've decided on five hole but the only reason i can think of is cause its the fifth hole? maybe?
 
Haha we had a debate on that and when we started talking about "assisted suicide" a kid was like "What the hell are you talking about, we're talking about kids not death!"
 
when i was little i thought the civil war was the silver war and i used to think cum meant come, so wenever my friends were like hes definately cumming id be like where?? and theyd just laugh
 
I've had to explain this time and time again to people, because its something they hold so true.

When someone tells you that lice like clean hair, they are wrong. Why the fuck would lice like clean hair? To make the dirty kids not feel so bad. If you've gotten lice, you're dirty. Im sorry.
 
I thought News Corp was a division of Viacom.

Now I feel bad about sending all those dirty emails and kiddie porn to Sumner Redstone. I'll probably have to kill myself.
 
today on the way home from school.. i realized EMINEM the rappers name is based off of the two M's in his name

Marshall Mathers

M AND M=EMINEM

who knew?????

i was baffled since EMINEM was my favorite artist in like 6th grade.

 
when i was little i said "grills" instead of girls.

i also thought that the guy on the back of alaska airlines planes was the KFC guy
 


Ok until i was like idk 12 13 i said insted of last night i would say " Yesterday Night" hahahaha and i had no clue!
 
i thought it was pronounced john olsson for a while but now i know its jon

i also thought it was candie thovex for a long time
 
ur dumb it is nuking it that guys teacher was a fuckin retard. what a dumbass teacher was he french? newting haha. idiot.

when i was five i used to call the new jersey devils the wrenches when i couldnt remember their name cause there logo looks kinda like wrench.
 
I thought that in the 6th grade. I thought it involved a blow dryer thouhg. I misunderstood my friend at lunch one day when he explained to me what red sex bracelets stood for.
 
In that "from sea to shining sea" song, the patriotic one, i always thought it was amber waves of gray, not amber waves of grain. I think it was around 6th grade when i found out.
 
Ultra violent rays, or my 65 year old grandmother's version: "Sam you have to protect yourself from the sun, you don't want to mess with those 'SUV' Rays"
 
untill i was 8 i thought water towers had sharks in them

its cuz i an a little bro an my big bro likes messing with me
 
my older bro and sis once explained to me and convinced me that when you blink and open your eyes, everything is upside down for a split second before your brain turns it rightside up. I stood blinking for like 5 minutes claiming that i could see the upside down image hahaha.

Also, the signs on highways "bridge freezes before road surface" confused me until like last year, and I'm 20 years old. 

Also the joke in forrest gump where bubba asks, "have you ever been on a shrimp boat?" and forrest says, "no but I've been on a real big boat"   I didn't get that joke for like the first 8 times i watched
 
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