The stupidest way to get hurt?

well, one time i was doing a revert to start skiing switch, planted my pole and just smoked myself right in the balls, and i was going like 25 km/h so you can imagine how much that sucked

i fell off the 40' flat box at my local mountain and landed on ice causing me to land backseat and crushing my thumb between my ass and my pole, tearing ligaments....

Friend smacked the ball outta my hands at rugby practice, tore again

getting out of car and i was in the backseat and i needed to release the seat with the lever thing and i pulled on it so i started moving my arm forward, didn't keep on moving the seat forward jabbed my thumb on the back of the seat... torn ligaments

playing the clap game at rugby, wasn't looking... torn ligaments

(i have torn my ligaments once more but that was in a rugby game sooo.. and all of these thumb injuries were on the same thumb, now my thumb is like 1 cm shorter.)

when i was 5 i was riding down the side of blackcomb on the dirt rode(straightlining) so you could imagine i was going pretty fast and then i decided it was fun to shake my handle bars from side to side... over handlebars TKO

 
yourwelcome, my pain your pleasure. hahaha it was all good though i woke up and i was like dad can we go back to the hotel i dont feel so good ahaha.
 
a while ago i was on a trampoline with some friends. i attempted to throw one of my friends and somehow he ended landing on my head/neck. it hurt so fucking bad. i couldn't move and was just laying there. my friends were jumping up and down around me yelling shit and laughing. ya they were jumping around me and playfully kicking me, just messing around. i tried to say i was hurt but it took a long time before they realized it. it hurt so bad, i would just uncontrolably spasm and was literally stuck there. i couldn't move, just lay there spasming in pain. eventually once they stopped i got up fucking pissed and just looked at my friend and he was like oh shit. haha i charged him with my head all stuck to the side and fucked up. i can't remember what i did to him, i just remember owning him. so yeah i couldn't move my head for a few days. it was stuck in one position, cocked to the side like 35 degrees. i went to school like that haha. it hurts now and i have to pop it and stretch it out.. the muscle is all knotted up.
 
was a bit drunk and wanted to open another beer bottle (not those screw caps but pop off caps) with my teeth, but was a bit to fast and broke the bottle with me teeth cutting open my entire inner lip. Well not that painfull or bad, just very bloody.
 
i broke my wrist and screwed up my thigh biking on a dirt rode just after twe finished a black trail we had just rode. It sucked
 
I was rallying my nissan pick up off road and hit a hole. This bounced the truck and I wrapped it around a tree...no injury. The next day I figured a good thing to do would be to go ride my dirt bike. I was cruising through a mountain pasture and not paying close enough attention (apparently), and I caught my handle bar on what must have been the only other tree besides the one I went flying into head first. I got a serious concusion and was in and out of conciousness for a little and then had to ride 3 more hours to get home. This was my sixth concusion. I think as my brain cell count lessens so does my fear factor. On the last day at snowmass I hit a jump without checking out the landing. Turns out ther was no landing. I hit flat so hard I landed on my ass. I literaly knocked the shit out of myself and bruised my tailbone so bad I could not sit on anything without a cushion for like three weeks!
 
this august, i was skiing argentina, on my first day skiing there, i was going down pretty steep but simple tree line that exited to a green slope, i was wondering why my friends(who had been there for a few days) were going so slow down the glades, i disregard this and straightline. at the last second, i realize that im straightlining directly onto flat. upon impact, my knee was driven up into my face breaking a small bit of my cheek near my nose, and got me a concussion, and a pretty swollen face, and a pretty solid black eye.

a few days later, when the blakeye had healed. i went skiing after a hard night partying( alone because i was the only one motivated enough to go to the mountain). I was pretty wasted because argentine clubs close around 8 in the morning. none the less, i was having a terrific day shreding the park and landing pretty much everything i tried for some reason.

at the end of the day, not wanting to take the cat tracks to go down i go through a series of mogul runs to get to the bottom of the hill faster. when i arrive near the bottom, i align my skis towards the bus that is taking my home, lean on my knees and just let it roll. problem is, i didnt see the poma-lift that was 50 yards in front of me9 since its pretty sketchy in argentina, theres no warnings or anything, and no one on the lift). to my surprise, i do a surprise backflip, landed straight on my skies and toppled over. i had caught the lift wire straight in the mouth, chipping my tooth and sliting my lip and cheek pretty badly. needless to say, they had to get some workers to shovel the bloody snow into garbage bags because there was so much of it. the bus ride home was pretty bad.
 
punched my friend in the back off the head cuz he ran away and punchedme in the nuts.. anyways so i tried to punch him in like the back.. or some stupid shit.. i was young.. so anyways i wound up punching him in the back of his head and braking three of my fingers.. man i need to learn to punch
 
ive seen a person fall off a lift at this small mountain. i dont think they were badly hurt but it would be really shitty to break something that way
 
My brother barely tapped me in the forehead with a golfclub when I was four years old. There was a lot of blood and I had to get four staple stitches without painkillers because I was scared as hell, wouldn't hold still, and was generally acting like a complete lunatic. I went home and built a chairlift out of legos.
 
haha I got a few of these

I was coming down after a sick ass run and as I'm stopping to get in the lift line I catch an edge and smack my head so hard I forgot how to breathe.

Another time I was playing red rover freshman year because a bunch of us were over at an elementary school mentoring. So I hear "RED ROVER RED ROVER SEND SCOTT RIGHT OVER" I go charging over pick my spot and BOOM the two guys I pick to break through dislocate my jaw.

But probably the most retarded way I've ever been injured: First run on my new board on friday the 13th I decide to hit the first jump. The snow was soft so my heelside edge sinks in and I wind up flying through the air winding down the windows. I land straight on the tail of my board then flat on my ass and slide down the landing. Well i broke my board and when i hit my ass my pants ripped back so quickly i got rug burn on my balls. Needless to say that day was over.
 
kid in my class was whacking off on his bed, mom walks in, he panics and jumps off bed, breaks arm, gets caught fapping.
 
I cant believe I almost forgot this one.I'm sitting in the back seat watching the matrix on the head rest when my friend totals his tricked out audi S4. The air bag breaks his nose and scrapes up his face. I emerge uninjured. We both go to the hospital just in case we could be hurt and not realize it. We are released from the hospital and we go check out the wreckage. While I'm walking away I slip on the sandy hill leading up to the road and smash my face on the road breaking 3 front upper teeth.
 
having a snowball fight while skiing, down a green. i was paying more attention to dodging those snowballs then those trees, closelined right on the forehead, minor concussion.
 
I bit part of my tongue off running through a hula hoop.

I cut open my pinky to the bone when I was 5 slicing a watermelon.
 
when my brother and sister were like 5 they were messing around chasing each other in the house. long story short, my sister slams the door on my brother's right pointer finger and the last like inch of all the skin and meat on his finger just slid off the bone. he got it sewn back on but he has a nasty scar and his finger is very crooked.
 
we played tag for our first gym class of the year (10th grade) and my friend fell and broke his wrist.
 
some fat kid in my school tried to jump over a backpack and snapped his leg in half

this happened about 4 years ago
 
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