The best gaper quotes

This happened to me about an hour ago...

A ski Tech/instructor was looking at my Blends and he said to me: "Nice Jesters man"

Me: "Urr thanks, but they're Griffons. Jesters have orange on the toe piece"

Ski Tech: "Yeah, but they're all the same anyway"

Me: "I 'spose, just different DIN range"

And with that he walked off muttering something under his breath.

I 'spose it's not really a Gaper quote par say, just something funny that happened as I thought a ski tech/instructor would know a little about bindings...
 
A gaper got on the lift with me and, noticing my double ended skis, proceeded to point a camera at them and loudly exclaim OH MY GOD THOSE ARE DOUBLE ENDED SKIS, THEY'RE SO INTENSE, THEY'RE SO-O-O BEAUTIFUL!!! WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??!!!! and he carried on like this for the entire 3 minute lift ride to the point where he was almost crying. The guy was in such ecstasy over twintips, it was good to see and really funny too.
 
just was thinking, this thread has been around for more than 2 years and the post before a green name gets on thread lasted under 48 hours and had 3 more pages.
 
jibbinc./Kelsey's Facebook profile picture - Him and a friend doubling a jump and backflipping

26627_10150133343900214_692765213_11578563_6290889_n.jpg


comments:

Ryan - Yo is that you and dylan backflipping

Kelsey - no we did 360's

Zachary - that's the most fucked up 360 i've ever seen
 
A perfectly flat what?

And the one talking about his blends and griffons/ jesters, jesters don't have orange on them, they have red.
 
how about the old one-two reach in chest cavity to yank out bloody heart and devour that shit still beating? much more appropriate to the situation. I love the originality of gapers, because they are so oblivious to the sport and industry that they look ridiculous, and say snippets of unparalleled ignancy. In that spirit of moronic freshness, lets hear something other than the awkward self-gratification of a 13 year old who puts down an innocent newbie.
not particularly gaper, but I always smile when I see a snowboarder who overdoes the camo. Bad lieutenant, matching outerwear- just weekend warrior and his backfiring attempt to be BAMF. now legitimate hunting gear I approve of...
 
One of my friends is kinda a gaper, he snowboards but not as often as he would like to. He was going through the park at Stowe on northslope where there was like a 3 jump line, and he thought the area between the jumps was the halfpipe and the jumps/ landings were the walls.
 
he broke it off with me a while ago :D ...... thank goodness I don't have to endure another season with him
 
I was in a shop with my friend

hes a snowboarder and a bit of a gaper.

we were talking to the shop guy about clothing.

then my friend suddenly said "wait Burton dont make clothing any more do they"

and there was heaps of burton shit in the shop but my friend jus made a complete fool out of him self in front of this guy

Kinda funny
 
Here's a good one that I readily admit was me. I was a gaper tard noob on TGR who didn't lurk enough and created some thread about a ski and got picked on (probably deserved it). Much butthurtness ensued. I eventually said, "I'll report you to an admin!" And I did. The Admin did not give a single fuck. (Why should he?)
I was such a retard then
 
I was waiting to get into the gymnastics center tonight and heard a kid talking to his mom. He said it was busy and the ski team must be there. His mom asked if he was talking about cross country or downhill, which was stupid in the first place, but when he said terrain park skiing like on jumps, she said "why would a skier want to go off a jump?" I seriously wanted to slap her in the face
 
same thing happened when we were loading on the lift, some lady had her goggles upside down and she asked the lifty:"Can you tell me why my goggles dont fit properly""Uh....because they are upside down""Oh...how silly, that would make sense"
laughter ensured.
 
once saw a ten year old with GIANT ski boots on, walking around all weird...his ski instructor came up to him, and took his boots off. Under his ski boots, he was wearing sneakers still.

*standing at the top of the pipe*

Gaper: "is this the superpipe?"

*waiting for the bus at the breck transportation center*

TX plated car pulls up, rolls down the window, "Could you tell us where Breckenridge is?"

"What's a gaper?"

And then the absolute retardedness of Gapers that stop in the middle of a busy road/parking lot to unload/put on their gear. Do they not understand this blocks the already retarded amount of retard traffic trying to make it up the rest of the hill, where you are supposed to unload in the 'unloading' zone. ARG

Anyone with a sun burnt face in my opinion is a Gaper. That shit will kill you. USE SUNSCREEN.

Saw a gape at breck, out of control, couldnt stop or fall down to stop, hit a tree, and died. Seen it off the lift, gnarly.
 
...leaving the mens restroom at a restaurant. I'm wearing an Armada t-shirt and a guy walking into the bathroom says do you snowboard! WTF!
 
I work for a passenger boat company that takes people into a national park and someone asked "at what elevation to dear turn to elk" and i thought it was the most ridiculous question ever asked, i am amazed that more than one idiot could come up with such a question
 
Were in the ski line

her: Your touching my sons skis

me:So?

her: They are twin tips. ur gonna break them

me: If u dont trust me touching them, how do u ski with them?

she just leaves
 
My school has an after-school ski club, and kids always make fun of my tall tee's.

It's funny though, because the same kid laughs at me for falling when I'm trying to butter, and then he eats shit just straight airing a jump.

I heard him telling his friend, "Dude, I probably got at LEAST 7 feet of air."
 
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