The best gaper quotes
- Thread starter RICK_ROSS
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304NordMan
Active member
"woa, are thos the skis that you can go backwards on?". me="yep." "wow, where did you get those?! i had know idea the rental area had 'em!"
j.saaaarela
Active member
road bike helmets
MammothAddiction
Member
I had my first run in today with a gaper. While talking to my parents at the lodge, I was asking by a gaper about my SPK kreations. It went like this:
Gaper: "Did you bust a boot or something today?" since he saw there was a black and yellow boot.
Me: (Wondering why this guy is interuppting my convo with ma and pa) Looked at my boots to make sure something wasn't up because I just had them worked on by a boot guy. Then said, "No, they just come like this".
Gaper: "Oh, weird. Well I'll let you talk to your parents again." ?????
My day was great for being my third day on my post tib/fib fracture, but this made my day even better hahahaha.
Gaper: "Did you bust a boot or something today?" since he saw there was a black and yellow boot.
Me: (Wondering why this guy is interuppting my convo with ma and pa) Looked at my boots to make sure something wasn't up because I just had them worked on by a boot guy. Then said, "No, they just come like this".
Gaper: "Oh, weird. Well I'll let you talk to your parents again." ?????
My day was great for being my third day on my post tib/fib fracture, but this made my day even better hahahaha.
Candy
Active member
On the lift, i'm skiing on surace live life 2s and my friend is on nordica zeros, a lady and her kid are sitting by us.
"Are those them twin tip skis?"
me: "Yeah"
"Do ya love em?"
me: "Yeah, they're fun."
"Ah, that's good."
super random. She then goes off about how Billy bobby
such and such wanted twin tip skis for christmas
"Are those them twin tip skis?"
me: "Yeah"
"Do ya love em?"
me: "Yeah, they're fun."
"Ah, that's good."
super random. She then goes off about how Billy bobby
such and such wanted twin tip skis for christmas
some random tourists came into the park on a busy day. They the said "lets go watch the jumps" to each other... they then skiied down and stopped on the middle of the knuckle of the jumps landing and held everybody up until a boarder went down and yelled at them...
also- a kid hits a SUPER easy butterbox and falls. He doesn't know how to take his skiis off, can't get up, and just lays there for a fulll 15 minutes until his dad physically dragged him off the landing.
also- a kid hits a SUPER easy butterbox and falls. He doesn't know how to take his skiis off, can't get up, and just lays there for a fulll 15 minutes until his dad physically dragged him off the landing.
blavallee4
Member
i just got a text from my friend saying,
'' hardest part of the day skiing today, Carriying my skis to the car, there so heavy''
from the surgeon who operated on my thumb, i asked so can i ski? she says:
'' you wont be able to cause skiing requires poles for maximum balance''
i loled at both
'' hardest part of the day skiing today, Carriying my skis to the car, there so heavy''
from the surgeon who operated on my thumb, i asked so can i ski? she says:
'' you wont be able to cause skiing requires poles for maximum balance''
i loled at both
fratskier69
Active member
ots not that good but a racer went off teh side of teh jump for a rail, did a spread eagle and then shouted upon landing "holy shit"but i guess we were al pulling spread eagles at one point
207
Active member
I was at Sunday River and this fucking weird ass gaper asks me if I like my Afterbangs. I said yeah, and then I noticed he was riding the Line Mini-Chronics (they were like 144) Me just messing around: dude those skis are nice! what size are they! uhhhhh I think like 140. Siick. The funny part is he was about 18 and 5"10 riding on 140s haah.
Gaper: "are you gonna hit the box rail?"
Me: yeah, you can drop if you want
Gaper: ok, I'll show you what I learned at Windells!
Gaper proceeds to 50-50 a flat ride on box and then eat shit coming out.
Windells doesn't make everyone amazing tim wallnuts style apparently.
I also got: jesus, why do you wear your helmet so far up on your head and your goggles inside your helmet?
Gaper: "are you gonna hit the box rail?"
Me: yeah, you can drop if you want
Gaper: ok, I'll show you what I learned at Windells!
Gaper proceeds to 50-50 a flat ride on box and then eat shit coming out.
Windells doesn't make everyone amazing tim wallnuts style apparently.
I also got: jesus, why do you wear your helmet so far up on your head and your goggles inside your helmet?
=FAIL=
Member
Looking for some decent rental in chamonix and I asked this old chap "Do you have any decent powder skis I can rent for a couple of days?"
"Yeah," and he led me over to some Dynastar legends
"hey man I was looking for some twin tip powder skis? rockered maybe?"
"What? they don't make rockered twintip powder skis."
I turned and left. Fucking dumbass. the young ski tech was looking at me with pitty because he was tuning some hellbents. still.
"Yeah," and he led me over to some Dynastar legends
"hey man I was looking for some twin tip powder skis? rockered maybe?"
"What? they don't make rockered twintip powder skis."
I turned and left. Fucking dumbass. the young ski tech was looking at me with pitty because he was tuning some hellbents. still.
I would tell you you are a douchebag, but you are too fucked in the head to understand. Can't blame you tho:
From ONN
Most children are sociopaths
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New Study Reveals Most Children Unrepentant Sociopaths
December 7, 2009 |
Issue 45•50
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MINNEAPOLIS—A study published Monday in The Journal Of Child Psychology And Psychiatry
has concluded that an estimated 98 percent of children under the age of
10 are remorseless sociopaths with little regard for anything other
than their own egocentric interests and pleasures.
Enlarge Image
Data shows that many seemingly innocent children—such as this one—are not to be trusted.
According to Dr. Leonard Mateo, a developmental psychologist at the
University of Minnesota and lead author of the study, most adults are
completely unaware that they could be living among callous monsters who
would remorselessly exploit them to obtain something as insignificant
as an ice cream cone or a new toy.
"The most disturbing facet of this ubiquitous childhood disorder is
an utter lack of empathy," Mateo said. "These people—if you can even
call them that—deliberately violate every social norm without ever
pausing to consider how their selfish behavior might affect others.
It's as if they have no concept of anyone but themselves."
"The depths of depravity that these tiny psychopaths are capable of reaching are really quite chilling," Mateo added.
According to the Hare Psychopathy Checklist, a clinical diagnostic
tool, sociopaths often display superficial charm, pathological lying,
manipulative behaviors, and a grandiose sense of self-importance. After
observing 700 children engaged in everyday activities, Mateo and his
colleagues found that 684 exhibited these behaviors at a severe or
profound level.
The children studied also displayed many secondary hallmarks of
antisocial personality disorder, most notably poor impulse control, an
inability to plan ahead, and a proclivity for violence—often in the
form of extended tantrums—when their needs were not immediately met.
"Children will use any tool at their disposal to secure
gratification," Mateo said. "And as soon as the desire is fulfilled, be
it some material want or simply an insatiable and narcissistic desire
for validation, they quickly become bored and lose interest in their
victims, all the while thinking only of satisfying whatever their next
hedonistic craving might be."
Mateo added that even when subjects were directly confronted with
the consequences of their inexplicable behavior, they had little or no
capacity for expressing guilt, other than insincere utterances of
"sorry" that were usually coerced.
Because children are so skilled at mimicking normal human emotions
and will say anything without consideration for accuracy or truth,
Mateo said that people often don't realize that they've been exploited
until it is too late. Though he maintained that anyone can fall victim
to a child's egocentric behavior, Mateo warned that grandmothers were
especially susceptible to the self- serving machinations of tiny little
sociopaths.
Despite the overwhelming evidence presented in the study, its
findings have been met with heavy criticism from people who associate
with children on a regular basis.
Batavia, NY resident and 38-year-old mother Mary Corcoran echoed the
sentiments of many other adults who refuse to believe they are sharing
their homes with merciless predators.
"Not my Jimmy. Just this morning, he told me I was the best mommy in
the whole world," Corcoran said of her son, 5. "In fact, he's been such
a sweet little boy this month that Santa just may bring him everything
he asks for."
According to renowned child psychologist Dr. Pritha Singh, author of Born Without Souls, diagnosing preadolecents as sociopaths is primarily a theoretical interest, as the disorder is considered untreatable.
"We've tried behavior modification therapies, but children actually
learn from our techniques and become even more adept at manipulating
others while concealing their shameless misanthropy," Singh said.
"Sadly, experience has taught us there is little hope for
rehabilitation."
"Just look at the way most adults act," Singh added.
From ONN
Most children are sociopaths
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New Study Reveals Most Children Unrepentant Sociopaths
December 7, 2009 |
Issue 45•50
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MINNEAPOLIS—A study published Monday in The Journal Of Child Psychology And Psychiatry
has concluded that an estimated 98 percent of children under the age of
10 are remorseless sociopaths with little regard for anything other
than their own egocentric interests and pleasures.
Enlarge Image
According to Dr. Leonard Mateo, a developmental psychologist at the
University of Minnesota and lead author of the study, most adults are
completely unaware that they could be living among callous monsters who
would remorselessly exploit them to obtain something as insignificant
as an ice cream cone or a new toy.
"The most disturbing facet of this ubiquitous childhood disorder is
an utter lack of empathy," Mateo said. "These people—if you can even
call them that—deliberately violate every social norm without ever
pausing to consider how their selfish behavior might affect others.
It's as if they have no concept of anyone but themselves."
"The depths of depravity that these tiny psychopaths are capable of reaching are really quite chilling," Mateo added.
According to the Hare Psychopathy Checklist, a clinical diagnostic
tool, sociopaths often display superficial charm, pathological lying,
manipulative behaviors, and a grandiose sense of self-importance. After
observing 700 children engaged in everyday activities, Mateo and his
colleagues found that 684 exhibited these behaviors at a severe or
profound level.
The children studied also displayed many secondary hallmarks of
antisocial personality disorder, most notably poor impulse control, an
inability to plan ahead, and a proclivity for violence—often in the
form of extended tantrums—when their needs were not immediately met.
"Children will use any tool at their disposal to secure
gratification," Mateo said. "And as soon as the desire is fulfilled, be
it some material want or simply an insatiable and narcissistic desire
for validation, they quickly become bored and lose interest in their
victims, all the while thinking only of satisfying whatever their next
hedonistic craving might be."
Mateo added that even when subjects were directly confronted with
the consequences of their inexplicable behavior, they had little or no
capacity for expressing guilt, other than insincere utterances of
"sorry" that were usually coerced.
Because children are so skilled at mimicking normal human emotions
and will say anything without consideration for accuracy or truth,
Mateo said that people often don't realize that they've been exploited
until it is too late. Though he maintained that anyone can fall victim
to a child's egocentric behavior, Mateo warned that grandmothers were
especially susceptible to the self- serving machinations of tiny little
sociopaths.
Despite the overwhelming evidence presented in the study, its
findings have been met with heavy criticism from people who associate
with children on a regular basis.
Batavia, NY resident and 38-year-old mother Mary Corcoran echoed the
sentiments of many other adults who refuse to believe they are sharing
their homes with merciless predators.
"Not my Jimmy. Just this morning, he told me I was the best mommy in
the whole world," Corcoran said of her son, 5. "In fact, he's been such
a sweet little boy this month that Santa just may bring him everything
he asks for."
According to renowned child psychologist Dr. Pritha Singh, author of Born Without Souls, diagnosing preadolecents as sociopaths is primarily a theoretical interest, as the disorder is considered untreatable.
"We've tried behavior modification therapies, but children actually
learn from our techniques and become even more adept at manipulating
others while concealing their shameless misanthropy," Singh said.
"Sadly, experience has taught us there is little hope for
rehabilitation."
"Just look at the way most adults act," Singh added.
j.saaaarela
Active member
lol
hooray for sarcasm!
hooray for sarcasm!
griffin.paisley
Active member
then again some are dick heads
my friend jumps off the side of jump for rails, almost falls then goes and hikes up again
my friend jumps off the side of jump for rails, almost falls then goes and hikes up again
gnarley_marl
Member
rode up the lift with one of my co-workers today, another instructor. At one point in our conversation he asks, "what are those skis called again? double wings?" and I responded politely and answered his question and we both went our merry ways.
wheres_my_snow
Member
did hey really want to kill unsuspecting gamers??
skiP.E.I.
Active member
I was at Mammoth today for the first time and I felt mildly gaperish.Also there was a guy in the line for lift 10 who had some beautiful pink, orange blue and zebra striped gaiters over his boots. A lady in the line next to me told her friend that she was pretty sure they were the same things people put on their wrists when trimming roses to protect themselves from scratches.
JibbaTheHutt
Active member
i was having a conversation with one of my friends about skinig ( he is going for the first time this year) bt anyway i said i did freestyle skiing first thing he said was "can you do a backflip" i started pissing myself with laughter as i had been reading this thread the night before
13 year old gaper told asked us about how good we were at skiing, so my mates and I said we were ok.
He then went off talking about how his parents told him he was really good as he only skied for 4 days so far and he was doing really big jumps in the terrain park.
Then he goes off telling us about how he collects model planes (wtf?)
When he gets off he tells us he's going to do another run through the park and as we turn off to the park he says "why aren't you guys coming to the park?"
and takes off down some easy run to the cafe.
He then went off talking about how his parents told him he was really good as he only skied for 4 days so far and he was doing really big jumps in the terrain park.
Then he goes off telling us about how he collects model planes (wtf?)
When he gets off he tells us he's going to do another run through the park and as we turn off to the park he says "why aren't you guys coming to the park?"
and takes off down some easy run to the cafe.
ShredC.
New member
My friend proceeds to hit a shitty frozen mound of snow down at the bottom of the run when a gaper approaches from beside him, starts dancin, sorta points at him with both his fingers and yells some weird apocolyptic language. So my friend says "oh fuck it!!!" and starts roarin haha!!
PeterWojnar
Active member
Hopefully, this will bring the thread just a step back towards reality.
On Wednesday, there was about a foot and a half of fresh laying on the ground. I got to Summit Six at Alpine Meadows a little before 8:00 AM, while the lifties were still setting up ropes.
I was the only non-employee there, and as I walked into the corral, one liftie said: "You do know the lifts don't open for another hour, right?"
I replied, "Yeah, I'm just hear to claim my spot on the first chair."
She said, "I can't let you up until the lift opens, at nine."
She just couldn't wrap her head around the fact that I was there early, and that I would be perfectly happy to wait an hour. Hell, I'd be happy to wait three, but that isn't necessary at Alpine. Finally, someone who looked to be her superior came outside and told her that this is a regular practice, and that he has stood in line for KT-22 at 6:30. She didn't get it.
On Wednesday, there was about a foot and a half of fresh laying on the ground. I got to Summit Six at Alpine Meadows a little before 8:00 AM, while the lifties were still setting up ropes.
I was the only non-employee there, and as I walked into the corral, one liftie said: "You do know the lifts don't open for another hour, right?"
I replied, "Yeah, I'm just hear to claim my spot on the first chair."
She said, "I can't let you up until the lift opens, at nine."
She just couldn't wrap her head around the fact that I was there early, and that I would be perfectly happy to wait an hour. Hell, I'd be happy to wait three, but that isn't necessary at Alpine. Finally, someone who looked to be her superior came outside and told her that this is a regular practice, and that he has stood in line for KT-22 at 6:30. She didn't get it.
YooperSteeze
Active member
Sounds like what happened to me on opening day of my mountain. We got there an hour before they were supposed to open, and the lifties looked at us like we were crazy.
Lemuel
Active member
It's always funny to see old people and gapers wearing spk's and rampages, but if the boot fits get it I guess.
Today some old guy was standing on the deck of the jump, enjoying the view from 50 feet above see level in CT. The other day this lady and her kid could not get on the chair. First one of the kids skis falls off so the lady jumps off. Then after finally making their way back to the loading spot, they get on and both of the kids skis fall off. I saw a guy wearing wool pants. So many old old old straight skis, shitty bindings, and ridiculous boots. There is also this one kid who has the red and white air raid jacket in size skin tight, which it looks like he tucks into his pants or fold the bottom under or some weird ugly shit.
Today some old guy was standing on the deck of the jump, enjoying the view from 50 feet above see level in CT. The other day this lady and her kid could not get on the chair. First one of the kids skis falls off so the lady jumps off. Then after finally making their way back to the loading spot, they get on and both of the kids skis fall off. I saw a guy wearing wool pants. So many old old old straight skis, shitty bindings, and ridiculous boots. There is also this one kid who has the red and white air raid jacket in size skin tight, which it looks like he tucks into his pants or fold the bottom under or some weird ugly shit.
j.saaaarela
Active member
a skier with only one leg passes under the lift, and the guy next to me asks: "so when you get good enough, are you only allowed to ski on one ski?" .....he said this straight-faced
PaleCelery
Active member
Just like water skiing lol
skitopher540
Member
When did they put the moguls in? cause earlier today they weren't there.
knblhjgkfjxdzsg
Member
Was going up Sam's Knob at Snowmass the otherday sitting next to this kid and his friend and he says to his friend when going over the moguls,
"Dude those would be so hard to make, I wonder how long it takes them to set them up each year."
then the other says,
"Not that hard, they have a snow mobile that does it for them."
"Dude those would be so hard to make, I wonder how long it takes them to set them up each year."
then the other says,
"Not that hard, they have a snow mobile that does it for them."
Steezius_Maximus
Active member
I was clipping my skis on and this guy said "how come they have 2 tips "
Also once I was going to join my friends in the lift and I heard these 17 year old ginos say "lookit those 3 guys one has a super long tshirt and the other has super tight pants and the other one is wearing all the colors of a rainbow. They should be in a circus"
Also once I was going to join my friends in the lift and I heard these 17 year old ginos say "lookit those 3 guys one has a super long tshirt and the other has super tight pants and the other one is wearing all the colors of a rainbow. They should be in a circus"
Not really a quote, but last year at this comp, a snowboarder on a rental somehow thought he could do a backflip off the jump. (It was a single jump, 30 feet, and probably one of the lamest comps I've ever been in) Anyway to start out he was barely strapped in. Then when he finally made it to the lip, he popped too hard too early, hit his ass and head on the lip, then proceeded to do an impact caused frontflip to his face, halfway across the table. He was pretty lucky he didn't get injured. Oh and I think he was wearing jeans too....in January. Fuckin Gapers