The best gaper quotes

i frequently got asked if my hair is a wig, i have very think hair so in clubs etc drunk people would just come up to me feel it and ask if it was a wig.
i've cut it shorter now.
 
yeah i can see where you got that, my friend started saying it so i caught me. He went on there to try and sell some skis, they are some unfriendly people.
 
it snowed this weekend

gaber:what you do this weekend

me: we had a rail jam

Gaber:skateboard?

Me:skis

gaber: cool, can you back flip

me:no

gaber: whats the best trick you can do

Me: 360, workin on 540

Gaber:wow, your good

Me: not really

Gaber: do you want to be a pro skier when you grow up

Me: no

then the bell rung
 
I have an AMAZING story:

One time, I was on NS, and someone told a gaper story, but instead of "gaper", he said "gaber". LOL!
 
I was at a gay mountain last year with my cousins and i was hitting a jump. At the top of the hill i turn backwards to hit it. a Ski patrol was on the side of the jump. When he saw me, he ran on the kicker to stop me. So I brake ( I almost hit him ). Then:

me: Why did you do that

ski patrol: It is dangerous to ski backwards you could hurt someone

me:What you did was even more dangerous

Him: If i catch you skiing backwards again, i kick you out

Me: how i am supposed to hit this jump switch?

Him: You can't

I went away, he was such an asshole.
 
same thing has happened to me before, they just dont understand.

Just because they cant control their skis goign switch doesnt mean we cant haha
 
yeah another ski patrol told me:

I've been skiing for 9 years and I still can't ski backwards correctly, how long have you been skiing for.

Me: two years

Ski patrol: You don't have enough experience.. bla bla bla

I had to listen to him for 10 minutes because we were on the chairlift, just me and him. FML
 
Mitch

yeah i havent been to seymour yet

ill probably keep hitting up grouse since i have a pass up there

********

i rode the goldie park all day on Sat.

Mitch

nice

********

its got that After bang style setup at the bottom totally skatepark style.

anyone know what an after bang style setup in the park is? i tried to get him to explain it for me but it just made me even more confused after that

this conversation is going on as we speak, ill see if there is anything more as it goes

 
i got in the lift with an older guy today and he asked me i how i liked those "double enders" i was skiiing on
 
my brother and my friend were watching edias on my ipod and this kid came up to us, and we tricked him into thinking my dad filmed it and that i was john spriggs, and bro and friend were cr johnson and tanner hall.
 
so today i was chatting it up with this kid that im pretty tight with and i knew he skied but not freestyle so anyways he goes:him: last year i almost did a 350me: dont you mean 360?him: no man i was a little bit off and then i crashedme: ok
 
early season at copper Some gaper is fucking walking across the run and this snow boarder is just cookingsnow boarder yells move it dumbass......................................................./ ...................
............
........................................................

5 minutes later gaper yellsASSHOLE
 
i got such a fucking good one the other day.

im snowboarder, and the tip/tail of my board has a bunch of stickers on it.

some young gaper kid asks "don't all those stickers make your board heavy?"

it made me laugh.

i also saw some kid hiking rails today with a 160cm tapered directional Salomon sick stick, it has a pointed nose and setback stance. i didnt even know what so say.
 
I was riding up the lift today at brighton and there was a shitload of pow.

Gaper - "There is soo much powder"

Me - "Oh yeah, its pretty deep."

Gaper - "Yeah, I'm almost as good a seen petite" (He meant sean petitt)

Me - "I think his name is pronounced "Shawn Pet-tit"

Gaper - "No, I'm almost positive its "seen". Anyways who cares, i'm better than him. (He was riding salomon Ten-Eightys with shitty marker rental bindings)

Me - "I bet you are......)

 
(after we havent had snow for 2 weeks and there is not fresh)

me: so you guys haven a good day?

gapers; ya we just got here, were going to the backside to look for powder.

me: oh you probably dont waNNAdo the the whole mountains a cube of ice...

gapers: oh we know how to find the powder dont worry.

me: good luch (music +volume)

not really that bad i just thought it was sad...
 
Gaper 1 = guy wearing tall t's with like 150's: (he was around 5'10")
Gaper : Skibladez OOOOOO
He then hits a jump straight air and flails horribly with no grab.
Then I hit the same jump on 110s and did a rodeo 5 nose grab.
I ski by him and call HIM a wannabe ... LoL
-B
 
Last week I saw the like 60 year old gaper on hellbents flying down Liftline at Stowe. He was flailing all over the place. And it wasn't quite the day for hellbents, I mean there was like 5 inches on the trails but it was all choppy, and there was no way this guy was going into the woods to get some.
 
Saturday on a quad lift...

Gaper - 'What kind of skis are those? They look like snowboards" (referring to my Octolands)

Me - "They're twin tip skis"

Gaper - "Oh those suck, do they even have edges? I didn't think you could even turn with those. You should get better skis, you'll never ski right if you're not learning to use your edges"

Me - "Oh thanks. I'll look into it..."

/sigh
 
some racer fag on the lift last weekend was annoying me:

Gaper: "I don't see why skiers would want to ruin their skis by skiing in powder when the mountain makes all these great groomed runs!"
Me: "Yeah..."
She also told me my skis were on backwards..
 
Gaper: Aye Mang..You gots then double tips?

Me: Do you not see 2 fucking tips?

Gaper: Aint no need to get fiesty mang.

Me Shut the fuck up. and quit callin me mang.

Gaper: I gots a question though, can you do a backflip?
 
Recent ones seem real, but I have been misguidingly wrong before. So I challenge to do so. Unless you have an internet lie detector, I don't see a way of proving them false besides those new members whose stories seem blatantly false.
 
anyone with even the slightest bit of common sense can tell most of these are made up.the first 15 or so pages were great. now it's just become a place for all the newbs to make their first post
 
Sigh.. Well I guess I can only guarantee that I'd never make up bullshit. I swear all my stories to be real once I get a funny one.
 
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