The best gaper quotes

Haha I know right. Maybe she was trying to give you a HINT? You know, you can do blacks and double blacks, that's not the kind of skiing ski does, maybe she wants you to teach her. Maybe she is into you?
 
Random person adds me on facebook and starts talking to me.

Girl: Hey

Me: uh hey

Girl: nice snowsuit, it's very colourful.

me: ..thanks?
 
spacer.gif


spacer.gif


spacer.gif
so do you cross contry skii or all that snowbording stuff?
spacer.gif


 
good luck guys, were 14. and its not like i wasnt ever going to talk to her again...heres one that happened last night....(i have a t shirts signed by tom wallisch (ZOMGGGG))him" WOAH, isn't that tim wallischs signature?"My friend "yeah, yeah thats tim's"
 
me: yo, i learned switch ups and my summer set up this weekend

friend: what the hell is that

me: when you are grinding, u jump and do a 180 on the rail. i can do a BS and FS one

friend: that sounds really easy. ill do it next weekend at the resorts setup

me: hahhaahaah

next weekend........

me: how did u do

friend: i didnt do it

me: y not, u said it was easy.

Friend; iit was way to fast and there was mud on the box

me:MAN UP

friend: whats afterbang (swear to god he asked me that)
 
i had to make a video for my video/news production class. theres only one other skier in that class. one of the first shots in an edit i made for that class was me doing a flat 3. almost all the other kids yelled "holy smokes!! backflip!!!" i loled. then the "backwards" skiing came, and when the doubles came and they all got silent haha
 
so im in the car with my friend and his dad

i ask his dad"so do you like how skiing is these days"

he say"definitly not!i used to ski 210's and now im at 195's im not going any lower"

i say"well if you change your mind make sure you get some line invaders,a few tall t's,some skullcandy headphones,full tilt boots,and a g-suit"

he replys"why would i wanna look like a fuckin clown!"

 
so were sitting on a chairlift, my friend and i, when this dood sittin next to his gf tryin to look like he knows what he was talkin about was like:

gaper: are those skis twin tippers?

me: yes

gaper: so do you ski in the park a lot

me: yea i do

gaper: can you do a backflip?

true story. thats as classic as it gets
 
These kids where in the lift line in front of us

"are those trick skis"

me "yes"

them "do you go to the obsticle course"

Me"silence"

Another one: kids again in front of us in the lift line were trying to talk trash on their rental skis

"We are practically pro because we have been on this lift 8 whole times"

next thing we know the lift stops and we see them all on the ground.......epic facepalm
 
me: yo, look at my new ski cloths i am getting this year( pic of saga)

friend: thats sexy, are u sponsored by saga

Me:.....

next day.....

Me: look at my skis(pic)

friend:those r cool, who makes them

me:line

friend:are you sponsored by them

ME: WTF how come every time i show u something u ask me if i am sponsored by them. Are u sponsered by nike, it says is on your shirt, or levi, ur genes r.!!!!

 
If there's enough metal in a ski, it'll retain shape past a certain point. That's why you don't take your 192 cm Mantras through the tightest moguls on the mountain unless you really know what's up.
 
this is about as believable as 80% of the more recent stories.the first 20 or so pages were pure gold, but now this thread kinda sucks
 
My friend bought a snowboard off TJ Schneider without knowing he was a pro. when they were at his apartment he was like "so uhh, why do you have so many snowboards lying around?"
 
Fresh off facebook!

me: "what makes you stoked on winter?"

her:"snowboarding and snow"

me:"oh sweet what kind of snowboarding do you do?"

her: "... erm snowboarding? im goofy i guess"

me:"like racing, backcountry, park..."

her: "ohhh uh i guess i really like backcountry and i just like going fast... i dunno... POWDER i love powder"

she's ugly, so it's fine to fuck with her. i don't think she's actually snowboarded before so she's a goldmine for quotes

 
i can't resist...
first lift comment from old gaper man complete with red/yellow/purple jester hat: "how to you like those flipped up tails?"
 
ah, i was going to resurrect this thread today but someone already did the honors

well anyway i was at keystone on sunday and i was riding up the chairlift. I enjoy making small talk with the people who ride the lift whether they be gapers or hood rats. Anyway, she ended up complimenting my skis, which are last years invaders, and said how they were very colorful and she didn't like the ones she just bought because they were black-ish. then she proceeded to say that my skis look like they would do well in powder because of the fat waist of the ski.....

i then proceeded to tell her that these skis infact self destruct when they come into contact with any sort of fresh snow and explained fat skis and rocker and all that jazz. needless to say it was quite the facepalm moment, as even a gaper knows what fat skis are and she proceeded to tell me how shes lived in colorado her whole life and skied so it came as a bit of a surprise
 
Been grooming the kicker at London Freeze with this guy, we're watching the skiers warm up. Someone hits the jump , this guy turns to me and says,
"was that an 8?"
LOL
 
A russian gaper in the lift: So, tell meh, how do you do thiz rotation ?

Me: You need to start off backwards, the when you approach the jump, you need to kinda bend your legs and then stretch them out at last, the in the air, you MUST throw yourself backwards...

Russion gaper: I see, very nice.

We got of the elevator, and when i saw him, in his late 70's ski suit and white/pink/yellow skis, getting down to the smallest jump, i dident dare to even watch if he was going to to as i told him xD

 
if your using the elevator you must be skiing some crazy urban shit!!! no, but seriously i think we all know you meant escalator
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top