The best gaper quotes

tat stratton i think like 2 years ago me and my brother were with a ski patrol and others on a lift and my brother starts to raise the bar when we get close to the end:

ski patrol: "NO! dont raise the bar, you know what happens when you raise the bar

eairly? Kids fall off!............. and you do you know what happens when they fall off???....

IT HURTS THEM.."

at a ski store in vt my bro was looking at skis and put some k2 pontoons or something on the ground to see what they looked like underfoot:

manager screaming from across the store: "HEY!! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING!!!! Your going to get grits on

it!!! You know how much this board cost???(running over) 1000 dollars dont belive me??

LOOK." (shoving the price tag in my brothers face)

gaper friend: im gonna disaster the down rail

other gaper friend: i went too fast and got knuckled
 
so we have a crap park at kirkwood, on the side of where they cut the edge of the landing you can butter off it over a rope (probably the best feature out of the entire park even if it was unintended),

anyway i decide to switch3 itand immediatley, almost mid afterbang ski patrol fukckin tears outta nowhere infront of me and of course yells "STOP!"

him: you need to turn around and watch out, its not safe to ski like that you cant see people down the run

me:um its called skiin switch man relax

him:if you dont be more careful im going to have to clip your pass (its like a warning, if it happens twice you lose youre season pass for like a week or so)

me:fine fine i'll watchout

at that moment the douche ski's away and out of his red jacket falls his cell phone and i pick it out of the snow and snatch it

free phone (claim)
 
I was on vacation and was going to the pool to try and learn how to do mistys. I told my mom that and she sounded confused, so i went through the motions of a misty 5. After i finally convinced her its a misty 5 even though you only actually spin 180 degrees and the flip, i said 'its not that confusing, not like im trying a dub cork 12'. Bad move. I then had to explain how to do that (not that i can). When my dad gets back from the bathroom he askes us 'ready to go?'. My mom says excitedly, 'i just learned about corksrews!'
 
sooooo i work at a rafting company in CO that's a ski rental place in the winter. In a corner, there are a few snowblades hanging from the celing. so i got asked...

Texan: what are those mini skis?

Me: they're snowblades.....

Tex: what are they for?

Me: Usually newer skiers use them because supposedly they're more manuverable or something like this...

Tex: so you dont use them? are you a skier?

Me: Noooo i have never tried them BECAUSE i am a skier

Tex: so you must be pretty hard core then.....

(then she went on to tell me about all the skiing she did growing up in new mexico...)

Tex: so if you're a good skier have you ever tried the single ski?

Me: ummmm....like a snowboard?

Tex's husband: yeah

Tex: No....where they....

Me: ...have two bindings mounted next to eachother on one ski? a monoski

Tex: yeah! that. It's the most advanced type of ski.

Me: ummmm...no, well there are a lot of "advanced" things that you can't do on a monoski

Tex: well like what?

Me: Like land

Tex's husband:.....like getting air? YOU...GET....AIR??

Me: well.....yep

Tex: whoa.

Tex's husband: i could never do that. i'm afraid of heights

wow.

 
jumpin in mid conversation...

talkin about a kid at my home mountain

me: he was like 3 years older than me

bro: no he was like a year older than you but still hes so much better than you...

me: no i bet were about the same

bro: yea right i saw him doin 700s last year

me: (laughter)
 
dude ski patrolers at my hill are so sick!! they all ride obseths and hell bents and just nice fatt skis!
 
Haha at first I thought you said you posted that on the group wall. I was like, wow the best trick comp huh? Haha I was about to call you the gaper. That's rather comical though.
 
some guy at school tried to tell me that people get skis and cut them down to be really short and that he wanted to do it... i just looked at him and just said u could always just buy snowblades but either way you are gay. He then proceeded to tell me that "in the states they have bowls like in skate parks and there are heaps of people using those short skis in them" (we are from Australia in case you were wondering). I left the conversation... i think he was talking about people with snowblades in the halfpipe.... meh... idiot
 
Gaper: So you ski eh?

Me: Yeah...

Gaper: Yeah so did I, I got really good and found nothing else to do on the mountain, so I switched to snowboarding.

Me: Oh really, what could you do?

Gaper: I could go off every single jump in the park.
 
I'ts not a gaper quote but kinda funny all the same. I was in the park for my first time and I was with a friend(gaper. So I was trying some 1s and 3s on this ledge type feature so my friend goes and hits this ten footer but just kinda rides over the lip of the jump. Later we were talking about if freestyle skiing was a hard sport to progress in and he goes. "I could get good at park skiing if i tried but I don't feel like trying, like remember when you weren't even hitting that HUGE jump but I hit it and I had never even hit a jump before so..." I thought that was kind of amusing.
 
lulz...i was at my mountain taking a warm up run in the mini park, where the jumps are just little 5 ft tabletops. a group of total noobs, not even freestylers, hits one of the jumps, and the little kid falls going down it, losing his skis. His parents take off their skis, help him up, and proceed to carry the kid, his skis, and their skis to the top of the jump, where they put them on. I ski up to them, and reveal to to them that the platform, is not, in fact, a rest station. They decide that because they are adults, they know exactly what they're doing, and bitch me out.
 
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG....

my friend (not a gaper, just dumb)

came up to me after talking about skiing related things and this is what he said (brace yourself)

Him : "Did you know they blew up chad's gap?"

Me : *Facepalm*

Him : "what?, no really, it got too dangerous"

Me : " it's a 'gap', how is that possible "

Him : "I don't know, but they did it"

Me : *Double Facepalm*

 
Gaper: WOW!! those are the fattest skis i've ever seen.

Me: yeah they're pow skis

Gaper: so does the fattness catch more air and provide lift so that you can fly farther?

Me: ...................................................................................................................

...................................................................................................................
 
um...false. i work in a shop, i've had that request multiple times.
for example, a 30-something year old guy came in and got new skis and requested that his left binding be set at 6, while wanting the right binding at 8.5. the reason? he tore his left ACL twice a few years back and needed to make sure he didnt screw anything up again
 
not really a gaper quote but after me and some friends did nose butters off of all the knolls in the skier cross course we got a lecture on how that was bad for our skis from a elderly race coach
 
My friend: dude on youtube I saw a guy do a helicopter spin

me: wtf is a helicopter spin?

my friend: it's when you do half of a backflip and start spinning when you're upside down and then do the other half of the flip and land it.

me: ???

And another one that a different friend said

Friend: My calendar has a picture of travis rice doing that corkscrew thing or whatever he does

 
I just remembered some more... so i was with one of my friends and it was a really crappy day on the mountains so we were just jibbing around the ski club. We were just joking around and skiing down this set of stairs when a ladie comes over and saw us putting our skis on on the top of the stairs and she picks them up for us and yells at us saying that we were doing the stupidest thing we could possibly do and we would both fall and die. so she carried our skis down for us and we waited for her do leave before we continued... lol the stairs had like a half a food drop and they were covered in snow... it was probably less dangerous than a black diamoned....

Also in homeroom i was explaining twintips to my friend and my teacher comes over and says in an amazed voice " u have twin tipped skis?"

me:yup

teacher:does that mean in the front they branch off in 2 different tips?

me:...........
 
Haha I wonder what that kind of ski was like to ride

Not really a gaper quote but I bmx and when im goin to the park through my neighbourhood the little kids always stare weirdly and sometimes yell something like "ooh what a cool bike" Puts a smile on my face everytime :)
 
heres 2 good quotes

Gaper:do you ski pizza and frenchfriesMe: no only frenchfries... im allergic to pizzaGaper: that sucks
Gaper: do you use the ski sticks?Me: sometimes i dont because i realize im too awesomeGaper:how do u push urself down the hillMe: magic
 
i think that thats one of those lame dad jokes that he thinks hes really funny to his kid. cuz i can totally picture my dad doin that...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top