The best gaper quotes

this gay kid at school told me he was WAY better than me at skiing

so i asked him if he could 180 and in these exact words"what the fuck! what is that" i walked away very man and confused.
 
This is actually one my granpa told me when I was skiing the moguls when I was like 6.

My grandpa dropped his pole after catching an edge or something

Texan comes by and takes a swipe at it with his pole

Texan "Sorry buddy, I tried to catch it with my stick"

There are some others that I have forgotten

 
Another one is when I was learning to ride park when I was 12 and this kid my age stops right in front of a rail.

I was like "Cmon man you gotta get outta the way!"

His mom comes over to me and starts cussin me out bout he can stop where ever he wants and why wood I even want to grind on rails cuz i mite break my skis or the rail.

She skis away and u can hear her muttering break a perfectly good stair rail........

Yea it was just a plain rail, no stairs or anything
 
so this was a while ago and it was a super windy day so me and a friend were doing simple shit off of a 25 ft kicker. he goes and does a 3

me: DROP DROPPING

gaper (next to the drop in): don't worry im going around it

so i keep going and keep an eye on him. i was abou to do a 3 also but then the wind kicks in and i just do a straight air over it. as im in the air i look down and see the guy and his 3 little kids right next to me as im in the air i start freaking out i land and eat shit because i was off balance i get up and dust myself off

freind: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING

gaper:
 
so this was a while ago and it was a super windy day so me and a friend were doing simple shit off of a 25 ft kicker. he goes and does a 3

me: DROP DROPPING

gaper (next to the drop in): don't worry im going around it

so i keep going and keep an eye on him. i was abou to do a 3 also but then the wind kicks in and i just do a straight air over it. as im in the air i look down and see the guy and his 3 little kids right next to me as im in the air i start freaking out i land and eat shit because i was off balance i get up and dust myself off

freind: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING

gaper: i had the right off way

me: i called drop

gaper: you still had no reason to go that fast you could hurt yourself or someone else

freind: thats what your suppose to do you fuckclown

gaper: you should have watched yourself still

freind: no no no no YOU need to watch yourself

gaper: watch your attitude or ill call ski patrol

freind (who doesn't work there btw): can i see yours and your childerns tickets......NOW

gaper: why

freind: because i said so (rips them off)

gaper: WHAT

freind: sir you are a fuckclown get your ass OFF THIS FUCKING HILL

gaper flicks us off and gets in the line

hahaha one of the scarest and funest times ever

 
I was with my friend who is a snowboarder with a Morrow board. The bottom is neon green. This guy came up to us and was like, "dude do you guys have a tool, my boards broke. Wait, holy shit man, you have lights on the bottom of your board!!!"
 
Kid at my school while im playing gnarshmallow, Can skiers actually go on those bar things?.

Me, yeah... To prove it i go on ns and show him t-walls all eights.

Him, oh, i thought they could only do the wide plastic ones, not the skinny metal ones.

Now he knows.
 
Skiing at The Remarkables in NZ a few days ago I saw a gaper in a purple one-piece with what I can only assume was a radio in his pocket blaring for all to hear. Some people just wont splurge for new clothes or headphones i guess. That's a new one to me.
 
RR to a fault. Thought of the same thing myself. We NSers are too cool to actually train much in the summer and instead waste it by a computer. Ron, as I type is undoubtably chugging a hundred multivitamins, and simultaneously running a river bed and doing bicep curls-------------> THE MAN!
 
So we are riding the park and i hide my drink in the bushes so i can come back and get it and this douch bag skis up to me screaming his fucking face off saying you are littering pick it up as he trows it to the ground i pick it up drink some and hit him with it and he threatens to call ski patrol

LAWL
 
It's the school "holiday" as they say here in NZ and today the gapers were out in full force. I was making laps through the singles line and got stuck sitting in the middle of a family of first timers. Right as we're making our way to the top of the lift I see the lifty put the lift on slow and go running. A pile-up of gapers full of tangled skis awaits in the immediate area after you get off the lift and he's yelling and pulling people out of the way trying to prevent it from worsening. The family of gapers I'm on the lift with fails to notice or think much of it and instead of trying to ski around it they (not knowing how to stop either) continue going straight with me unable to get out of the middle. After we slammed into about 8 tangled people one of the women yelled at me to "slow down, and watch where I'm going" in broken english. GOD I HATE GAPER SEASON
 
got asked a classic question in the store i work at the other day, "so which is the right or left ski?"

cue me laughing inside, but at the same time trying to answer the question seriously and helpfully.

also a group renting when handed poles tried out the gaper "race tuck" straight away

 
thats actually a valid question. some people request different DIN settings for left and right foot, and occasionally someone will ask the shop tech to sharpen each foot differently. in these cases, it actually does help to know which is which.
but i see where you're coming from
 
So at Bach they have these signs at the top of the run that say freestyle skills required and so kinda early in the morning but a fair amount of riders in the park and this group of like 15 gapers in like their 50's ride through right as i'm about to drop in for a jump. so i hit the line and bomb down to talk to them and i tell them to stay out of the park unless they are going to hit the jumps and i mention the sign, and their like "No it doesnt that run is open to everyone" so i argue with them for a little and i qoute this guy "Shut up, your just a stupid little kid who doesn't know anything"
 
the ever famous..
gaper: are you good at skiing?!!??me: meh. not bad.gaper: like how good!?!? can you do like... green circles?me:yeah sure....gaper:oh thats cool. once i did a tripple black diamondme:thats nice...

also the "NO CUTTING IN THE LIFT LINE!!" always makes me smile :p
 
My response to that is simple: "Well what are you going to do about it? Hmm? If you can catch me, you can say something."
They can never catch me, because anyone who could catch me, is probably cutting the line with me.
 
a guy with a mustache cut me off right before i hit the jump so i yelled at him, the he was like "oo YOUR going to fast " the I was like I'm hitting the fucking jump get the fuck out of the terrain park"
 
Not A quote but still funny in my opinion...

Was in Les Gets last year and saw a group of about perhaps 30 kids lined up.. looked like a school trip and they were all about 15.They all had really tight hoodies with FR33STYL3R (and then w.e there name was) on the back. Anyway they were terrible and im sure i heard one of them tell the other 'Man i could eat your pizza's up dude'.

 
ive had a couple...

one time a gaper family sat on the lip on the jump at breck and ate their lunch until some guy went up behind the gaper dad, sprayed him and hit him in the helmet with his pole...

a gaper cut me off right before i was about to hit a jump and went off the corner and ate major shit.... his dad was filming... he then proceeded to started bitching me out and i said fuck u and he said dont talk like that around my son... his son was easily 15 or 16.
 
hahaha at the lunch one. ive always made jokes about families eating there lunches on the lips of jumps because its always such an attractive place to stand for them they might swell take there time up there and eat there lunch, but ive never seen it happen, soo good
 
ya i hate it when i wear freeski shirts around and then people think the shirt is fucking retarted because thay have no knowledge on twin tipping
 
so its the last day at my local ski area and im with a group of skiers and boarders and we are building and flat box onto a picnic table(old supplies kept at bottom of park)and then these faggot snow skaters come over tryin to look cool in their tight snowpants and their k-mart jackets and we just finish building the feature

us:lets hit it"

snowskaters"wait hold up you are going to have to knock down this thingy, the snowskaters need to use this area"

us:what?? no way , snow skating is so gay and you cant do shit"

snowskaters"fine, i will make a deal if you can complete this obstacle twice you can stay but if you dont we get to snow skate here"

us:fine

we hit it perfectly twice in a row

snowskaters"you guys are ass holes, and why are your skis shaped like that"

us:" its for park skiing"

snowskaters"is that all those big bumps and box things"

us"ya"

snowskaters "ooooooooooooo"

after we hit it for five minutes, and the snow skaters are complaining, a boarder says" hey i got the best idea lets tear this down and snow skate"

so we leave the feature there and all the little weak snowskaters can not move it
 
bump for awesome thread. the other day we were at home depot getting turf for our summer setup, and the old lady cutting it for us asked us what we were using it for. I said for skiing and she said..

Oh.. so like skateboarding with skis on a flatform. OK now i get it
 
Gaper: so where have you been skiing today?

Me: Just lapping the park.

Gaper: Oh wow!!!! I will be sure to watch for you on the X Games!
 
hahahah that ski patroler had no clue,ya one time i was in the lift line doing some buter tricks and nose presses and stuff,so when i reach the top of the line a man says"son,please do not do tricks that cause your skis to bend so much they could snap and you could get hurt"so i say"i have twin tip they are very flexiable" and he just stands there in disbelieve
 
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