The best gaper quotes

I had a google gap but had a hat under it right? So this guy in a racer suit whispers to his friend:

Gaper: Goggle Gap

Me: Racer

Gaper: Shut up, I bet I can go faster than you

Me: Alright, lets race

The kid wrecks himself, but I never got my 5 bucks haha
 
theres this guy at my resort who is supposedly "a certified freestyle ski instructer" but hes really just a selfish dick, anhow one day he was in the park trying to teach his son (who snowboards) how to 3 and he thought that his son would feel more confident if he did the jump with him turns out his kid falls he lands on him and breaks the kids leg
 
one of the last days of skiing at my moutain and everyone is wearing tall tess because its hot out. some kid comes up and goes whats up with the big t shirts...
 
gaper on the lift pulls out a little one hit wonder peace and some shit bud

gaper: dude you wanna hit

me: na im cool

gaper: you sure man the kottonmouth kings smoke this stuff

me: no

gaper: ok then

he takes a hit and starts coughing

me:dude that smells like kitchen spices

gaper: liar liar pants on fire!

got to the top of the lift a minute after thank god
 
me 2 years ago on a powder day:

whoa mom look at that guys skis!! theyre all bent up!!

now that i think about this they were probly hellbents or some other rockered ski. makes me laugh every time i think of it
 
I just asked my sister what her favourite trick on the tramp was (shes a massive gaper)

She said she liked hawks.

She was referring to a spread eagle hahhah
 
" is it true, taht theose tricky skis are for learning skiers, because they make it easier to ski and jump backwards"?
" why are your clothes so long"?
"what is harder, a frontflip or a backflip"?
"are you sponsored"?
" my friend can do a spread eagle, can you"?
little girl asks me: " where can I buy those colorfull stickers for my skis"?
"why are the backsides of your skis bent up"?
gapers are so funny people, what would skiing be without them hahahhaa
 
this is a complete claim but i swear its true:

gaper: why are you wearing such big stuff?

me: to hide my skis and stuff

gaper: why?

me: because if you go on the chairlift and they see you dont have and skis or snowboard then they give you $10 dollars

gaper: really?

me: yeah......
 
haha nice but the best way to owned racer is to propose them to do a race so he will accept and then say that you have to go switch.... he will be pissed of
 
ya true there, i mean the guy asking that looked like a real gaper though i agree its not a typical gaper quote. however he could have thought, that both are hard, and it depends on the kicker, wether it has a steep take off or a fairly mellow one. also it depends on what oneself feels more comfortable with. i mean its not like im a pro or so, just that he could of come to those conclusions himself.

but true i wouldnt hate on gapers for saying that. my bad :D
 
So I was in the chair lift and then saw a gaper wearing a beautiful suit of ski-doo in snowblade trying to ski.

Me: HEYYY!! you lost something!!!!!!!!

gaper: (who just stop and looking around) WHATT?

Me : Your speed!

then the gaper become really angry start yealling at me

Gaper: FUCK YOU!! come here man you wanna fight?&! I'm gonna punch you and destroye evrything yo got.

Me: hahahah

so going out of the chairlift he was waiting for us so we just go in the park so he doesnt follow us because we need park pass. when we finish our run in the park, he was down the park with one of this friend. so they both start to get off their snowblade and start running after us(you have to know that our park is not top to bottom so we have to ski a bit to take the chairlift).We just ride away like some thug and those 2 stupid gaper where running down the hill then they both fall and kind of hurting themself!!
 
one cold night this winter we were just coming in from lapping the park for awhile and had gotten pretty cold so i just did a little 3 on the way in and then walking up the steps to go inside a 50-something year old lady walks out from inside and says.. 'Excuse me son, but was that you that just landed that helicopter?' btw i'll cool story hansel myself on this one.
 
lol i just watched dumb and dumber for like the tenth time and i love it when lloyd meets the chick at the gas station.
lloyd: hey nice skischick: thanks im going to aspenlloyd: are they yourschick: yeahlloyd: both of em?
 
as i said, if its a steep take off, then a backflip, but if it is a fairly flat take off with a steep landing then frontflip. if it is just a bump, then knuckle flip :D
 
Great thread!

OK.....

So i was walking from the lodge to the bus carrying my skis one in each hand and this older guy bumps into me so i drop one of the skis and the guy comes up and he was being pretty nice picking my ski up for me and saying sorry and i was just about to walk away when he starts freaking out at me that i am holding my skis wrong! he basically grabs my skis out of my hands, puts them together and throws them over my shoulder. Telling me that if i carry my skis like that i will look like a real pro skiier....

One of my snowboarding friends came to school and told me that he got a concussion after he fell off a bad ass huge jump...... I later asked the person he was riding with where the jump was and it turns out he fell on his head doing a strait air off one of the jumps in the kiddy park... The jumps are so small that the mountain didn't even bother building a landing...

Also one time i was going up the lift with one of the dads of a mogul skiier at my school (he didn't recognize me though) and this was the conversation...

Gaper: So your a park skiier?

Me: Yup

Gaper: Yea i see you have your fancy park skis and 12 din bindings and everything!

Me: Mmmhmmmm

Gaper: Yea but park skiing should be stopped because skiiers go farther than snowboarders off jumps and they can get hurt more easily.

Me: I think you have an equal chance of getting hurt boarding...

Gaper: I was working at the mogul competition last week and i think a d-spin 720 is easy! you just need to find the right angle of take off... I remembeer back in the day i was a diving coach........

I wont bother telling you about his diving years..... Then when we get off the lift he takes the liberty to pull my pants up for me........
 
at my normal hill its all about the park,

but if you go over to one thats a ways out of the way and all old people and total gapers (and they don't have a park) and ski switch, people actually stop and stare.
 
I was reading this last night... funniest shit everr.

I work for a race camp in the summers, and one of my campers this week was this 72 year old man. I'm heading up to the lift, and he seriously SQUEEZES into line right next to me, practically knocking me over, then says, "I see you got those double-tippers, you can go both ways, right?" It was hilarious.

Even though gapers are annoying, they're funny. At least they're not the racers climbing over your skis right before the line ends to get to the lift faster. Seriously.
 
i ariived at the flat box in my local park...

Yeti: This bench is vey slippy

Me:could you guys get off the box or somthing

Yeti:what are you going to do get, tell snow patrol on us!

Me: No i just wanna hit the box.

after i slide the box...

Yetis: lets go tell, he breaking the bench.
 
i was spraying my summer setup to make it slippery and my mom said "you now its not going to freeze overnite its summer." I laughed
 
haha i love how almost everyone telling the gaper stories in this thread hardly have any posts. i think they might be the gapers in their story.
 
I was teaching my girlfriend how to ski this winter and it was getting close to the end of the day and i was saying we should try and hurry down so we could get another run in before the chair lifts close.

she then says "What happens if they close the chair while we are on it?!"

I said "I dont know its never happened to me, but my neighbor said one time he had to spend the night on the chair lift because he got on too late."

she proceeded to freak out saying that we shouldnt go because we are gonna get stuck up there.

I convinced her that we will "Probably be fine, worst case we have to jump off."

we ended up getting on right as they were closing and the whole ride up she was flipping shit wondering if we were gonna make it. I didnt tell her that they wont leave you on after they close until three weeks later.
 
ski patroller: "please stop hiking the hill"me: "why?"ski patroller: "you're damaging the snow"

for obvious reasons i continued hiking
 
One I commonly hear regarding clothing are,"Your pants are falling down"And when I was at Momentum this year I was going up the chairlift with some PSI campers and they told me this story were some gaper in their camp went up to Sammy Carlson (who was in whistler at the time and ate breakfast where both the camps were eating) and asked him, "Are you a park skier or a mogul skier because you look too short to be a park skier."I laughed pretty hard when I heard that one cause I'd seen that kid they were talking about around the T-bar.
 
haha i arrived at the top of the jumps at my mountain when a couple of my friends hiked up because there was a long line for the chair.

Patroller: You guys, don't hike up the hill"

Friends: Why? the line is too long to wait for.

Patroller: Well, next time you are hiking up the hill, don't hike up the hill, take the chair.

I thought it was funny because he response made no sense at all.
 
a spandex wearing racer at my mountain once asked me about my skis

racer: hey cool skis.

me: thanks

racer: so you're one of the twintippers?

me: um ya... (are you fuckin serious?)

i notice he has the same skis as me. 04 chronics but still...

me: same to you. nice skis. do you know how to use em?

racer gives idiotic stare. i try again

me: do you know how to ski switch?

idiotic stare again. i leave him with a puzzled expression
 
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