The best gaper quotes

Standing above a 30 foot drop at Brighton under Milly...

Gaper on the lift: Go!

Me: I am waiting for the filmer.

Gaper: Pussy

Me: Word.

....and then I hit it.
 
at bear mountain/snow summit ca a couple weeks ago (i was planning to go to mammoth but that fell through) and i was actually told by an employee that they push all the snow out of the trees to avoid liability issues. i laughed so fucking hard.

then later i was talking to someone who apparently had a season pass there:

me "this is really nice that there aren't any liftlines" - there on a monday and comparing to my home mtn

gaper "yeah it gets really bad here on weekends"

me "seriously?"

gaper "yeah you can wait like half an hour at times"

me "seriously, for this?"

gaper "what do you mean?"

me "this place is tiny. i mean it's like a two minute run if that"

gaper "not really"

at which point i couldnt take it anymore. its as if they dont even realize that their mountain is fucking tiny. im not saying it sucks but seriously?
 
yeah, i agree here, actually. Chill out guys, if it was only us who skiied, all of the mountains would go out of business. Gapers are like a crazy uncle, kinda obnoxious, but you gotta love em. Thats what gaper day is, a salute to gapers.
 
so i was doing some nosebutter 3's down a green and some instructor comes up to me and asks "can you teach me how to do that?" i say "sure, just spin a little and lean on your noses" he tries it with his din set at like 2, leans forward, pops out, and faceplants so funny
 
either youre a machine or you have really short days haha. some people ride for like 8 hours+ so they might take a break. but anyways break generally mean getting lunch/dinner/snack or whatever i assume, and a break is just part of it
 
"I terrorize the mountain on these bad boys." - A 40 year old overweight, drunk, gaper telling us how his 169 K2 Enemies from like 2001 kill it in the park.
 
my mountain opens at 9 am and closes at 10 pm im usually there from opening to closing i get breakfast on the way there and dinner on the way home i only take breaks to pee
 
i Was walking up the parking lot at school and i see this kid from my stat class, he thinks hes hot shit at lyfe, and skiing. he has a Sliverton mt. sticker on his car.

me- hey fag have you ever even been to silverton?????

gaper- uh...... ya

me- really???? how many lifts do they have?

gaper- i dont study how many lifts ski areas have

me- silverton has one fuk'n lift...... newb

gaper- (embarassed facial expression) godamit (under his breath)

 
dont know if he was a gaper, or a drunk racer but he was wearing a GS suite on a powder day
gaper/joey---whats the speed for the jumpme------------straightgaper/joey---what if u have an erricsonme------------then go wicked fastgaper/joey---ok(as he wedges into the jump)
 
Gaper: Are those trick skis

Me:Ya

Gaper: Can you backflip

Me: Ya

Gaper: can you backflip over a moving train

Me: What?

Gaper: Ya isnt that what the train park is for

Me: Pretty much...

Also,

Gaper: These lifts are so slow

Friend: I hear big sky is putting a teleporter in next season

Gaper: really?, do you have to take your skis off to ride it
 
at school with gaper friend

me: heard you tried a 270 on the weekend

gaper: ya i almost landed a 270 off a jump! so close!

me: ... you 270'd off a jump

gaper: ya!

me: you know you only 270 onto rails ...

gaper: (silently walks away)
 
so this one time, this one time, i was like totally riding the chair lift and this total gaper noob like totally was like "whats skiing" and i was like totally like OMG like "youre a noober gaper" and he was like totally started crying and i was like OMG GTFO!!! so i pushed him off the highest point of the chair lift ride and he like totally screamed like a little girl and like as he was falling i was like "have a nice fall...poooosy" and like when he landed he was screaming "MY ANKLES ARE BROKE! AHH! HELPPPPP! MY ANKLES ARE BROKE!!!!" and i was like totally thinking he sounded like tanner hall that one time he didnt clear chads gap. do you remember what im talking about? anyways. he was there for like 344 runs later and i was like LOLz, "why are you still here" and he was actually frozen to death. and i was like OMG so i went to get a hotdog and hot chocolate, cuz you know two hot things go together well, HOTdog & HOTchocolate. yeah they should get married. but any ways when i was eating my hot dog and drinking my hot chocolate i burned the top of my mouth and i like totally couldnt finish my hotdog. so i threw them away.

claim.
 
i think he was mocking the ridiculously fake stories some kids told in this thread to seem cool. just maybe.
 
instead of bitching about gapers, NS should be more like religion, and attempt to convert Gapers into fully fledged members of the freeskiing community.
"In every gaper, there is the potential for a new jib master"Me, Just.
 
nope

went from racer, to straight crazy park skier.

no gape.

at all.

plus he grew up skiing WISP MD.

possibly the most expensive ice berg skiing in the planet.

plus the park is sub par....

 
not a bad idea...its kinda hard though, when they say shit like whats in this thread, to keep focused and not just burst out laughing and ski away...but i have succeeded once...
 
was just lapping park with friends when i saw these two gapers

"woah, thats so weird its like a wall thing that you can ride up!"

"Damn, i just realized we have one chance go down the hill then we have to go back on the lift."
 
Gaper: You going skiing today?Me: Yeah, gonna do some backcountry.Gaper: I wouldn't bother, they don't groom the backcountry, and there was like six inches of snow last night.Me: .....
 
Gaper: You going skiing today?Me: Yeah, gonna do some backcountry.Gaper: I wouldn't bother, they don't groom the backcountry, and there was like six inches of snow last night.Me: .....
 
my gaper dad calls them "double enders"
Few years ago - on the first chair up, met some local guy on k2 seths he says he "digs" my new atomics.
my dad - "what? with a shovel?"
 
Oh yeah? Well my gaper friends do double blacks, sometimes even triple, quadruple black diamonds if they're really feeling good. They go wicked fast too.

Anyway, I play along and say that I'm still getting comfortable on blues. Skiing is clearly based on confidence on your skill, whether you are just making it through your first days or boosting a massive jump. Many consider that just "skiing" a black diamond will increase their skill, and that just making it down, no matter how out of control, will make them a better skier. It doesn't help when friends that really aren't that experienced either think it would be funny for the new guy to rocket down and steep trail. I don't blame them for seeking some of their first adrenaline in this sport, but it often means harder trails are filled with people who don't belong there. It can ruin your line sometimes and is dangerous for the beginner and anyone around. Even so, I really enjoy watching people learn this amazing thinjg we call skiing, and try to encourage it. This was more on general beginners than gapers, but whaterever. /rant

PS- could someone embed the youtube vid I posted above (+ k)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top