The best gaper quotes

gaper:can you do like flips i mean i noticed you have the twin tails and you just came out of the snowboard park

me:yes

gaper:are you going pro anytime soon

me:yes 2010 olympics

gaper:seriously

Me:yes

gaper:can i have your autograph

me:no

 
Me: how much speed are you getting on this one

Gaper: well this board is freshly waxed soo a lot

Me: you mind if i watch to see how much speed you have

Gaper: yeah i think im gonna try a backflip

Me: nice lets see it

Gaper: well idk this board is really heavy i don't want to get stuck upside down

Me: ohh

Gaper: rides away speed checks prolly 35 times decks out and falls on a straight air
 
today i was watching our mountains slope competition and this little homely gremlin looking kid standing in front of us says "It would be sweet if one of them did an upside down helicopter!", it gave us all a good little giggle
 
Really stupid guy from my school(a nerd with a pony tail and glasses). And he skis like 5 times a year

Him: I am better than you at skiing! and I am gonna win the comp this weekend

Me: Okay????

Him: I am gonna 360 of the big jump

Me: WOW, that would be amazing

at the comp he doesn't have enough speed to make it up the jump and stalls at the lip(This is a 40 foot table)

After the comp:

Him: Dude that set up was so stupid I didn't get enough amplitude, so how was i supposed to win?

Me: Maybe you should go faster(He never made it more than 5 feet and the table was 40)

Him: Why should i listen to you, I don't like your style

Me: What???

Him: You land on the wrong landing?

Me: What is wrong with that

Him: That looks gay

He didn't get the concept of the canyon jump. HAHAHAHAHA
 
top of A51 box line yesterday:

little kid to his dad: "those look really big, i dont think i can go over them"

dad: "its ok, you can just go off the sides of the ramps"
 
Never thought I would actually get a good one in here, but I got two today.
Dicking around in the little park at loon I hear this like 14 year old kid tell his friends to watch him hit the hip cuz he's really good at the hip. So, I'm like "i really gotta see this" and sure enough he goes 2 feet up the takeoff and pop just enough to get the tips of his skis off the ground before flailing to the ground. It was entertaining to watch.
And then just cruising switch on south peak at the end of the day I go past this older guy and his wife while they're stopped on the side of the run. He looks right at me and says "You're going the wrong way" and proceeds to point at me. I just kinda shrugged and said "I seem to be going just fine" and went along my merry way.
 
I get on the beginner chair and I meet this great first timer boarder.

Boarder- So do you do tricks?

Me- I guess.

Boarder- I just started snowboarding. I skate though so it should be easy.

Me- Cool, that would help.

Boarder- There is one thing don't get though, how do you kickflip a snowboard?

Me- That would be hard.
 
After building a medium sized kicker into some powder off the beginner hill.....with shovel in hand

gaper: you buildin a jump?

me: no it's a super mogul

gaper: whats that?

me: its like a jump but it forces you to do a triple backflip, wanna take it?

gaper: no, rode away
 
haha, just had a sweet aim convo with this girl who lives in texas and believes that she is good because she comes to colorado once a year but is a huge gaper in denial

sungirl2020 (10:38:40 AM): haha

sungirl2020 (10:38:59 AM): does colorado still have good snow?

canuck and proud (10:39:07 AM): no

canuck and proud (10:39:10 AM): they have snow

canuck and proud (10:39:12 AM): but its been hot

canuck and proud (10:39:14 AM): so its slush

sungirl2020 (10:39:22 AM): oh i like slush

canuck and proud (10:39:23 AM): good spring skiing though, park is awesome with that kind of snow

sungirl2020 (10:39:43 AM): omg iforgot to tell you

sungirl2020 (10:39:46 AM): okay so where we ski

sungirl2020 (10:39:53 AM): like right under the gondola thats where like the snowboard park is

sungirl2020 (10:39:57 AM): but you can obviosuly go on the jumps with skis

sungirl2020 (10:40:10 AM): you know those like weird little plastic metal rectangular things that come off of jumps

sungirl2020 (10:40:19 AM): that you're supposed to like get on then jump off sort of thing? any idea what im saying?

canuck and proud (10:40:27 AM): HAHAHAHAHAHA

canuck and proud (10:40:31 AM): IM SAVING THIS CONVO

canuck and proud (10:40:33 AM): k, go on

canuck and proud (10:40:37 AM): they are called boxes

canuck and proud (10:40:39 AM): you slide on them

sungirl2020 (10:40:39 AM): oh

canuck and proud (10:40:39 AM): lol

sungirl2020 (10:40:41 AM): haha yeah

sungirl2020 (10:40:44 AM): i went on one!!

sungirl2020 (10:40:56 AM): but it took me so much effort to make sure both skis are on them that i didnt jump i just kind of went off of it

sungirl2020 (10:41:00 AM):
3A2D28
haha

canuck and proud (10:41:05 AM): haha

canuck and proud (10:41:11 AM): you realize its not just a snowboard park right

sungirl2020 (10:41:13 AM): i was scared to fall off

sungirl2020 (10:41:20 AM): no but it seems easier for snowboarders to get air

sungirl2020 (10:41:26 AM): i mean yeah*

canuck and proud (10:41:29 AM): its really not

canuck and proud (10:41:42 AM): lol

sungirl2020 (10:41:46 AM): i dunno i just usually see snowboarders jumping than skiiers

sungirl2020 (10:41:53 AM): then again snowboarders jus wipe out anyways

canuck and proud (10:41:56 AM): haha

 
One day while riding the park, I started to think of this thread and decided to display gaper behavior towards these REAL Gaper-ass snowbladers.

Me: Good lord dude, what the heck are those things on your feet?

Snowblader#1: They are trick-skis!

Me(trying hard not to lose composure): Wauw, that sounds pretty neck-breaking, do you do those giant fly-outs made of snow? (point to kicker), or those corked steele obstructures (point to rail)?

Snowblader#2: Nah man, these are my own pair and they are super expensive, I would not be so stupid and destroy them like that. If I had rentals, I would totally do it.

Me: Sick man, Are you guys pros?

Snowblader #1: No, but practice makes champion!

Me: I need to go get a pair for sure, hey do something crazy of that thing over there! (I point to a flat box)

Snowblader #1: HAH! Too easy man!

Then, they ride after one another while #2 is follow-recording his friend jumping off the side of the step-up!
 
on the gondala with this old dude:

old guy: "your twintippers are quite colorful, who makes them?"

me: [i turned my skis around so he could see armada in huge letters] "they're made by armada".

old guy: "oh, well that must be the names of the skis, but the company must be rossignol," he said as he stroked his skis: rossis.

me: "actually, armada is a relatively new smaller company that makes skis."

old guy: "i'm pretty sure those are made by rossignol."

me: "yeah, maybe the guys at the shop lied to me."

old guy: "must be."

after an awkward silence..

old guy: "i was just out in utah last week, and i saw a whole bunch of young folks out there with these skis almost as wide as snowboards."

me: "you don't say!"

old guy: "i kid you not! i saw a bunch of them with the grim reaper on them... they were so violent and bloody lookin, i made sure i skied on the other side of the mountain... i didn't want to mess with that bunch"

me: "that's a shame."

hellbents scared this old guy off. i was trying so hard not to laugh while listening to this guy talk.
 
Gaper- those are sweet skiis, can you go backwards.

me- thx and yeah.

Gaper- yeah i like mine (15yr old riding tecno pro junior race skis) mine were $150 and i got free bindings, snow pants and a coat with them hbu?

Me- um well my bindings were bout 300.

Gaper- oh..
 
No.... why would anyone make up stories on the internet to make them look cool? Oh nevermind it's a message board...
 
i wasn't joking.

i just refuse to believe that "every gaper alive" doesn't know that you can own skis.

that is straight up silly.

 
this came from tim durtschi's uncle last weekend *claim*
him-hey i saw a kid with blue pants skiing backwards really fast, was that you?!?me-um ya?him-you were skiing as fast as Tim does! you should go pro!me-...thank you?.....
 
I saw some guy skiing down Shawnee Peak the ghetto ist mountain ever. He was hitting side jumps in the park wearing jeans, a cow-boy hat, sunglasses, and some 60s retro jacket. I nearly shit myself.
 
Alright so i get out of my 5 oclock lesson, go to the lodge to get some eats and theres this kid Austin i knew/ despised from highschool. Its Begining of march and he just got a job workin the concessions...

Austin: Hey ill give you 5 bucks if you teach me how to ski. Im on break in 5.

Me: uhh, okk. You have skis?

Austin: let me go talk to the rental guys (comes back half hour later) ok.

He stats suitin up.

Austin: Hey is it easier to ski like that? (pointing to my feet)

Me: like what?

Austin: With those boots all unlatched and stuff.

me: (speechless)
 
again someone sounding like a douche..... i mean yes sometimes it is reasonable to call gapers out but most often they ask these questions because they honestly dont know, and not everyone undoes their boots when they take a break, i know sometimes i leave my boots done up because they feel so perfect that if i undo them ill lose that.

and im not just calling out one person, im calling out everyone in this thread who seems to have zero patience with people who havent participated in our sport enough to understand everything.
 
Idk if I posted yet.

"Maybe we shouldn't go in there.....it says you can die and stuff."

Two little gapers talking about the park.....
 
this one is actually a story of a friend of mine. he was in line waiting for a light, and was talking to someone about his new on3p kaylor skis. FAT, and rockered. girl turns around with jeans cuffed at top of rear entry boots, and mid 90's salomons. Gaper turns around and noone was even talking to her. "Those are training skis for people who cant ride real powder."
 
Haha, ON3P gaper story as well. I was riding up a lift, no poles, on Jeronimo's.

Lady Next to Me: Those are really fat skis

Me: Yes they are.

Lady Next to Me: Really fat, gosh. How long has it been since you switched from snowboarding?

Me: (speechless)

 
A gaper can't win on NS.. Go into the park and they get abused. Consider staying out of the park and they get made fun of..
 
at this mountain with my buddy. we were talkin about doin 9s and stuff on the lift and this kid was next to us listening. out of no where he goes "if you did a 10 degrees spin you'd land sidewards..." the rest of the ride was silent.
 
on friday my teacher let us watch a snowboarding movie (technicolour) i had in my backpack and after this kid came up to me and said "that movie sucked" i replied "what are you talking about?" he then went on about how all the tricks were the same and they just kept grinding rails and doing spins. he was pretty annoying
 
i was skiing at my local mtn, about to hit a c box, when i notice this lady and her kid are just standing there. and this is a 100 ft wide trail. I still hit it, as i thought they'd have the brains to move when they saw me coming. they didn't.me: hey, could u please move away from features so people can hit them?lady: no, why should i, just hit something elseme: well, seeing as there's only one feature in this line, i really can't, so just move. u have a nice wide trail.lady: i'm calling ski patrol!i ski away.
 
I was on the lift with these two guy and they ask me how many spinscan you do, I say forward or switch.

gap"switch no I'm pretty sure it's called backwards."

me "OK then a backwards 9"
 
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